12.28.06 :: port to sleep edition Wow. I think this is the longest that I have been absent from the lair ever. I think I'm having a contemplative identity crisis again. Perhaps it's because we're in that holding period that usually happens around the holidays. I just have preferred to skulk along the perimeter of the lair rather than take the spotlight. I did note the passing of the Godfather of Soul as well as the man who was president the year I was born. It's sad irony that Mr. Ford should pass away just at the release of the first season of Saturday Night Live, which began its ascent to cult status in part through Chevy Chase's spoof of the clumsy but good-natured president. At least I'll always be able to see those spoofs and so many others whenever I want; Loba received the first season of SNL for Christmas. What an alignment that cast was. Lightning will never be captured again quite like it was in those raw, raucous days.
I was also roaming up and down the I-95 corridor again. Gods, I love to drive. Give me an open road, Sammy, my iPod, and my thoughts, and I am good to go. First, a review of the driving soundtrack this holiday season. On the way down to see my parents, it was:
U2 ::U218 Singles Green Day ::American Idiot Third Eye Blind ::Blue Aerosmith ::Pump
And for the drive home:
KT Tunstall ::Eye to the Telescope Ray LaMontagne ::Trouble Sarah McLachlan ::Surfacing Sarah McLachlan ::Fumbling Towards Ecstasy Tori Amos ::Little Earthquakes Sheryl Crow ::The Globe Sessions
Apparently, I like heavy, fast, male artists for driving to North Carolina and mellow female artists for the drive home. Figure that one out. KT and Ray were Christmas presents, and delightful ones to boot. I'm still listening to the wee Scottish lass and her miniature disasters.
I've found that when I'm alone in my car for long stretches of time, I meet up with my...traveling companions. I have a cavalcade of characters in my mind...some belong to stories that I am currently working on or stories that I would like to start. Some have yet to find a home, but I think they sound like spot-on people who deserve somewhere to go. So they surface and I start fleshing them out a little more. Sometimes I even end up coming up with the story home that they need. Sometimes I even end up missing my turn-off because I'm so lost in their world. Perhaps one should not mentally write when one is driving.
I have also discovered my alcoholic kryptonite: port. I gave my dad a bottle for Christmas and we opened it while I was there. It's 40-proof. I was very excited about the potential there. All it did for me, though, was make me fall asleep. That was very non-cool. But it has a very interesting taste, so that made it at least a delightful experience.
Hmm. I've run out of steam, snoggees. Apparently, my brain is still on vacation. I'll wander back soon...I promise.
My mind is all a-twitter trying to figure out the meanings of this. I can't wait for the final book...
12.20.06 :: sleepy spudgy edition Okay, I try to avoid treacly postings...but damn this Sleepy Spudgy video! I just couldn't resist...must be the time of year...
12.20.06 :: history lesson, second edition More holiday history, snoggees. Ever see the holiday duet between Bing Crosby and David Bowie? Ever wonder, as I did, whathafu? How on earth did Bing and Bowie get paired? Well, now you can learn the secret behind this, one of Bing Crosby's final duets before he died a month after its filming.
12.19.06 :: double blow edition The cartoon industry is now down two timeless talents. Yesterday, it was finally revealed that Chris Hayward, one of the writers who helped fill the fantastical world of Rocky and Bullwinkle with puns and silliness, passed away on November 20.
And this morning, I heard that on Monday Joe Barbera joined his greatest collaborator, Bill Hanna. As a child of the reign of Hanna-Barbera cartoons, I take this as a particularly sad loss. Regardless of whether or not you enjoy cartoons, you simply cannot deny the impact that Hanna and Barbera have had on the American language and culture. Smarter than the average bear. Yabba-dabba-do. Jane, stop this crazy thing! Ruh-roh! Jinkies! Zoinks! They were our entertainers and they contributed images and language to our culture that will be long remembered.
12.14.06 :: clyde bruckman's final repose Anyone who is a fan of The X-Files will immediately understand the title of this contemplation. "CBFR" was one of the greatest episodes ever from this show, not only because of the excellent story and script but mostly because of the portrayal of Clyde Bruckman, which could not have been better. The performance won the only Emmy ever received...by Peter Boyle.
What a fantastic guy. He was once interested in becoming a monk. Thank the comedy gods that he abandoned that dream and discovered Second City. I can't imagine the "Puttin' on the Ritz" scene from Young Frankenstein being anywhere near as funny as it was if it weren't for Boyle.
12.14.06 :: vulgar display edition Have we lost this much of our human compassion? South Dakota Senator Tim Johnson has suffered some sort of severe medical event that required emergency brain surgery. This is huge...but not for the reasons that the media and all the useless talking heads are obsessed with. Screw the balance of power...he required emergency brain surgery. His family must be devastated and terrified right now. Could we at least give them the respect of pretending that we view this as something more than a wrench in the political power machine? It's the holidays, ferchrissakes.
12.11.06 :: history lesson edition Without a doubt, the greatest Christmas music is the soundtrack to A Charlie Brown Christmas. Vince Guaraldi was an amazing musician and his trio, finished out by bassist Fred Marshall and drummer Jerry Granelli, set in stone the music that would define not only this holiday but the Peanuts legacy for American culture. After all, Guaraldi's composition, "Linus and Lucy," is unanimously considered the Peanuts' theme music. Hearing the first few chords immediately sparks images of the Snoopy dance, Lucy and her football torture, Charlie Brown's squiggled sweater, a Linus-blue blanket...Guaraldi captured it all in this tune.
Here, then, is a lovely article on how Vince Guaraldi and his band of musicians jazzed their way into the American entertainment lexicon.
12.11.06 :: antikythera edition Okay, so the Wolf isn't really contemplating all that much right now. The holiday season is in full swing and my mind has wandered to climes beyond the political. Plus, I'm charging up some serious mileage on Sammy. He's getting a workout this month, that's for certain.
In light of the fact, however, that I have not dropped by the lair since last Monday, I thought that I would share this link with you all. I find this to be incredibly fascinating. Gotta love those ancient Greeks!
12.04.06 :: hero-less edition Non-political über-geek contemplation this morning: I think that Bryan Singer should be arrested and charged with one count of supercide and numerous counts of mutanticide. In abandoning the X-Men franchise that he helped establish, to direct Superman Returns, he successfully killed two super-hero series (one at its cinematic reinauguration and the other during one of the most pivotal and poignant storylines ever conceived for a comic book).
Singer's attempt at reanimating the Superman legacy was an almost complete failure. In fact, were in not for Kevin Spacey as Lex Luthor, I would have given this dud only one star on my Netflix list. He was the sole saving grace of this 2 1/2-hour time stealer. Even poor Parker Posey, who I usually adore in whatever role she's in, just couldn't save her albatross character.
First, the casting was atrocious. Spacey was the only properly cast main character...unless, of course, Singer was going for the Superman: The High School Years feel with the casting of two barely pubescent actors as Clark and Lois (Brandon Routh was born in 1979! Even worse, Kate Bosworth wasn't born until 1983! No one born after the original movie debuted should have been considered for this movie!). That was just incredibly jarring . So were the special effects, which for the most part, looked cheesy and very obvious. What's up with that? I think the special effects from the 1978 movie were more convincing than some of the effects in this movie. And the pace was torturous. Heavy exposition is not always a bad thing for movies...but for a comic book-based movie? It's a death knell. You want something swift and sparse. Lean and well-muscled, hitting the high points and trimming away the fat that is going to lose your audience's attention. You want your script to look as good in spandex as your actors. This script would have looked like Jabba the Hut in a thong.
I don't understand how Singer was so off on this movie. He got it so right with X-Men 1&2. Those two movies flowed with a marvelous pace, hitting all the important points. He did such a great job that I was able to, for the most part, forgive the liberties he and his writers took with some of my favorite characters (Rogue DOES NOT have a real name, dammit). He would have done better to stick with our favorite band of mutants, because I can't imagine how anyone can fix the damage done by X-Men 3. That was painful...and so effing disappointing. The Phoenix saga is one of my all-time favorite stories. It's so amazing all across the board. But this was just a homicidal slice-and-dice...although not nearly as miserable an experience as Superman Returns.
Is it just because Singer considers Superman so reverential that he wasn't able to treat it with the same discerning eyes he used to write/contribute storyline ideas/direct the X-Men movies? That's a poor excuse, though. I have two words: Sam Raimi. Look at what he has done with Spider-man. That's how you bring a revered comic hero to the big screen.
Okay, I'm finished geek-ranting now. We now return to our regularly scheduled liberal blogging.
11.30.06 :: extended tea time edition It's finally happened, snoggees. I am right now drinking tea made with the last remaining bag from tea I purchased in London...in 2003. For those interested, it is Afternoon Earl Grey, purchased at Whittard (emphasis on the second syllable, please...it's WhitTARD, you stupid Yank).
I still don't understand how they drink so much tea. Of course, that didn't stop me from buying six more boxes in September. Time to start whittling away at those boxes now...
11.30.06 :: meant well edition I'm going to do something that's probably going to shock some of you. I'm going to defend Lindsey Lohan. Usually, I'm about as interested in Hollywood personalities as I am in attending a GOP rally. But come on...why make fun of someone reaching out in kindness? She wrote a personal letter to Robert Altman's family after his death. It had grammatical errors. This is going to sound shocking from an editor...but so what? She was trying to be kind. Kindness should never be ridiculed. Leave the mockery and snide comments in their catty box for now. Just let it be what it is: one human being trying to reach out to others in a time of loss and grief. And whoever leaked the letter to the press? Total ass.
11.29.06 :: superhero gone edition Comic book illustrator Dave Cockrum, one of the brilliant minds who revived Marvel Comics' X-Men franchise in the 1970s, passed away this past Sunday. He helped bring about characters such as Storm, Mystique, Nightcrawler, and Colossus. Now that's a superhero-sized imagination...
11.28.06 :: c-old school edition This is just so Reagan-era remnants of Cold War Communist Russia that it's surreal: a former Russian spy who became vocally critical of the current president, possibly poisoned by that president's men? Too old school.
11.28.06 :: suspicious edition Hmm. I meant to come here yesterday and contemplate about my relaxing holiday weekend. But I got so swamped with work throughout the day that I never got the chance. And then, when I was going to sign on and talk about my very first visit to the Lincoln Memorial, I read this lovely little snippet about suspicious packages and threatening notes. Loba didn't do it! I like Abraham Lincoln. I was in Jersey that weekend...
11.22.06 :: pardon edition
Today, Bush showed that he still has compassion among all that conservatism by pardoning a Thanksgiving turkey. He then proceeded to try to convince the turkey to...give a little something back for the favor. You know...just a little knobble gobble. When he realized that there were cameras all around, Bush feigned a surprised "idiot" face, which he really didn't have to feign at all.
Heh. Okay, so this is pretty much just for my own amusement. But it wouldn't be the Lair without my own special holiday greeting, would it? Happy Turkey Day, snoggees. Loba will be out and about tomorrow, so stay safe and enjoy the day!
11.21.06 :: smokin' edition I'd love to know what New York Representative Charles Rangel has been smoking, because he really needs to stop. Reinstate the draft? Are you friggin' kidding me? Rangel thinks that reinstating the draft "would bring more upper-middle-class Americans into the military and would force policymakers to evaluate warmaking more carefully."
Okay, let's think about this for a minute, shall we? First, the use of "upper-middle-class" pisses me off. It's this country's way of making working class people think that they're part of the middle class...call them "lower-middle-class" and they won't be so upset that the government has gutted the programs that they used to depend upon...you know, when they were "working class."
So call them what they are: the middle class. So Rangel thinks that the draft would bring the middle class into the war. Right. Because so many of the middle class actually went to war during the draft. Ask Bill Clinton and George Bush about how easy it is to circumnavigate war when you have the resources to do so.
As for thinking that the draft would "force policymakers to evaluate warmaking more carefully"...again, who are the leading policymakers right now in this country? People who never once donned a uniform for more than aesthetic reasons. So really, what difference does it make to them whether or not the draft is reinstated? These people with the mindset that only stupid poor people are the ones who can't get out of the draft...call it the bourgeoisie survival of the fittest.
So really...Rangel? Shut up.
11.20.06 :: own it edition Didn't really do much contemplating this weekend. Did a lot of goofing and lounging. Those are the key ingredients for a great weekend. So nothing deep on the plate on this musical Monday morning. Instead, I give you two new Wicked discoveries from my YouTubing: proof from all the way across the pond that Idina owns Elphaba. OWNS her. Remember the Tony posting from Friday when I said that Ms. Menzel sounded nervous and wavering? Those traits are long gone. She has truly come into her own in that role, and here is the proof: Her voice is powerful and polished in this version of "Defying Gravity" (and dig the Aussie Glinda!), as well as in this, my second favorite Elphie solo, "No Good Deed."
There's something about a pristine singing voice that just mesmerizes me. I am absolutely in awe of anyone who is able to masterfully transform their own body into a musical instrument. It's amazing. It's beautiful. It's one of the myriad reasons I love musical theater so much. I hope you all enjoy these clips as much as I have.
11.16.06 :: even better edition I missed one! One lonely little message, from lonely little Newt. This one's good, snoggees:
Real reform in America doesn't come from the top. It comes from the people. The common-sense values of the American people are what twice elected Ronald Reagan and in 1994 elected the first Republican Congress in forty years. Your commitment to these American values has given us a continued Republican majority under the leadership of President Bush, who has led with unwavering determination in the global war for the survival of freedom.
In 9 days, these values will be put to the test like never before. The choice we make on November 7th will write the history books for generations to come. Will everything you've worked so hard to accomplish be lost to the San Francisco values of would-be Speaker Nancy Pelosi?
If you agree with me that the future of our country is too important to be left to Democrats who represent an attitude of appeasement, surrender, and weakness, I hope you'll join me in supporting the Republican National Committee in retaining our hard-won majorities with your contribution of $250, $100, $50, or even $25.
A House under Speaker Pelosi and a Senate under Majority Leader Harry Reid would be a disaster for America. The key Democrat leaders who would be in control of how much you pay in taxes, defense funding, and investigations against the President and the War on Terror are some of the most liberal, out-of-the-mainstream members of their party. They haven't changed. In fact, they've become even more liberal and beholden to the special interests who bankroll them.
The question facing Americans in this election is this: will America go forward or back - back to a Democrat majority determined to raise taxes, cut defense spending and fight with President Bush over the next two years rather than fighting the War on Terror.
Or will we win in 2006... rededicating our majorities and our commitment to the American values that have secured our liberty and freedom for over 230 years?
As a steadfast supporter of the Republican Party, I know how committed you are to conservative principles... from winning the War on Terror, to keeping taxes and spending under control, to securing our borders. Nothing would be more disastrous for these principles than allowing Democrats to take control of the U.S. House and Senate.
We would not have won the majority in Congress in 1994 without the support of the Republican National Committee, which provided the resources and know-how that enabled our candidates to unseat vulnerable Democrat incumbents.
Once again, our candidates are depending on the RNC to provide the field staff, absentee ballot mailings and get-out-the-vote phone calls they need to win. Republican candidates from every region of our country need this support to continue fighting for the values we share -- we can't fail them now. Show your support for these vital efforts today by making a special Campaign 2006 contribution at GOP.com/Newt.
Thank you for your continued commitment to our movement. With your support we will stun the political pundits and show once again that the real power in America comes from the people, not from Washington.
You know, I think I might start signing up for messages from other Republican outlets. This is actually fun. Ooh, and maybe I might sign up for a Jerry Falwell listserv...or Pat Robertson! Those would be GREAT! And I would share all of it with you, snoggees. That would make me bipartisan, wouldn't it?
And on that note, I bid you adieu. Loba has left the building.
11.16.06 :: wrong tree edition Okay, I wasn't intending on coming back so soon...but this is just too amusing. I have an e-mail account that I hardly ever check. There's a story to why I have it, but that's for another time. It's really just for junk mail; on the rare occasions when I do check it, there's usually about 500 messages and they're all crap. I should just do a global delete and be done with it. But some of the subject lines are funny enough that I still peruse them.
Somehow, the GOP has received this e-mail address. Strangely, though, they think it's my father's account. So when I checked the account today, I found at least 20 messages from gop.com, addressed to my dad. You think I hate the Bush administration? Let's just say that I am my father's daughter. These messages were "from" every major playa in the GOP regime: George, Laura, Jeb, Bill Frist, Ken Mehlman. All accompanied by photos of our gods of the Republic. Even homely...er homey photos of George and Laura, down on the ranch. Those, of course, accompanied Laura's "personal" messages to my dad. All pandering for money and votes. And one even reveals the reason why my father was selected for GOP pandering (even though he is a registered Democrat): He and my mother live in a dangerously "red" state.
I read them all, sporting the smile of jubilant hindsight. I then happily deleted them. However, I thought I would share one of them with you here, just because I love you all so much. Here, then, without further ado is an official message, approved by Lord High Chancellor, George W. Bush:
Today is Election Day and our Republican candidates need your vote.
I ask you to cast your ballot for Republican candidates who will keep America on the offense in the War on Terror, keep taxes low to grow our economy and work for our conservative values.
There are fundamental differences in this election. Our country cannot afford to elect a Democrat Congress that would abandon our strategy for victory in the War on Terror and raise taxes to pay for their reckless spending.
Laura and I urge you to vote Republican and to ask all your family and friends to go to the polls. The stakes are too high for you to stay at home.
Wait...let me stop laughing again. My favorite part is where Bush accuses Democrats of "reckless spending." That's like Donald Trump accusing Don King of having a bad hairstyle.
Man, I hope I get more messages from the GOP. Those really made my afternoon...
11.16.06 :: defying edition Today is just so incredibly dark and rainy...it's like a Truffaut film outside (Day for Night, anyone?).
Anyway. Here, first, is a bit of nerdy trivia that floated up in my thoughts. Gregory Maguire named the Wicked Witch of the West after her original creator, Lyman Frank Baum. L. Frank Baum. L. F. B. eLFaBa. Elphaba. Those of the Broadyway and/or literary cult already know this. Now my snoggees know it as well. Ponder as you see fit.
Now, a video. I love YouTube. Almost as much as I love all those people out there with obsessions larger than my own. Those people who sneak video cameras into Broadway shows...or London shows. You guys are great. I loved all the snippets you've uploaded. However, I chose the Tony Award performance of "Defying Gravity" for this icky day. Idina sounds nervous and her voice wavers here and there...but the effect is still as dynamic as it always is.
Enjoy!
11.16.06 :: proceed edition Hoyer is now Number Two. Could we maybe move beyond the pettiness and get to real business?
Honestly, you guys are behaving like spoiled children.
11.16.06 :: foreign affairs edition In one of his first moves to demonstrate his pledge to work with Democrats, Bush traveled all the way to Singapore to show his ass to his opposition. He declared at the National University of Singapore, "We hear voices calling for us to retreat from the world and close our doors to these opportunities.... These are the old temptations of isolationism and protectionism, and America must reject them."
Subsequently, the translator is reported to have interpreted Bush's statement as "So long as Wal-mart continues to be a major financial supporter of my political party, you're goddamned right that I'm going to shit all over the American working class to make sure my buddies the Waltons can keep selling your shoddily made communist crap in their stores!"
(Okay, here's a tangential rant that I've gone off on before, I'm sure: I'm still waiting for someone to explain to me why it's all right to support communist Chinese factories, which oftentimes are highly exploitative of their workers, but we continue to boycott communist Cuba. Anyone? Anyone?)
When an American reporter later asked Bush if he realized that many people considered his statement to be highly hypocritical because many consider him to be xenophobic, he scoffed loudly and replied, "Who said I was Xena-phobic? I love that show! I think it's great to see more women in action roles, especially ones who look so good in so little...know what I mean?" He then appeared to cringe visibly and several in the vicinity reported hearing loud screaming coming from the still unidentified "mystery bulge" beneath the president's sports coat. Several reported that the voice sounded like Karl Rove. Mr. Bush promptly stopped talking and allowed Secret Service to escort him back to Air Force One.
(Nothing like a little levity on a rainy Thursday morning...)
11.16.06 :: royal coup edition Holy "The British are coming," Batman! Queen Elizabeth announced yesterday that she will journey to Jamestown, Virginia, in 2007 for the 400th anniversary of the British settlement.
Being the devout Anglophile that I am, I find this announcement most fascinating. After all, it's not every day that royalty graces the shores of the colonies...
11.16.06 :: vindication edition Okay, I get it now. Pelosi backed Murtha over Hoyer for a couple of reasons. One is slightly valid. The other is slightly childish...for both Pelosi and Hoyer. The valid reason is that John Murtha was one of the few people to actually come out and say that we needed to get the hell out of Iraq. He said it way before it was all right to say it. I guess you could say he was the Natalie Maines of the Democratic party. Pelosi wants to back that sort of courage since it is now de rigueur among the American people to believe that Iraq was a mistake on many levels. But Murtha seems to be a dumbass when it comes to other things...you know, like watching what he says in public or understanding that when someone offers you a bribe, you not only refuse the bribe but you then don't work with them at all. It's that troublesome little word, "ethics."
The childish reason is apparently Pelosi and Hoyer share no drop of love between each other. Sort of an old school grudge from back in the days when Pelosi and Hoyer were interns for Maryland Senator Daniel Brewster. Whatever. I do understand not wanting to work with someone you can't stand. Really, I DO get that. But this is ridiculous. And now the Democrats look discordant and petty right out the gate while the Republicans yet again have all their evil little ducks in a row. That's so not cool.
11.15.06 :: payback edition Republicans all got their knickers in a knot the other day when Pelosi backed Murtha for majority leader. I'm not sure either way yet about the issue. You know me: wishy-washy Democrat who has to think things through.
But now the Republicans have voted Trent Lott as the GOP Senate's "Number Two." Right. Guess he's paid his penance for being, perhaps not the blatant racist that many accused him of being...but just for being a stupid person. And heaven knows, this is the regime for stupid people to get their chance to shine.
"Who does Number Two work for? Who does Number Two work for?"
Yeah, baby. Very shagadelic.
11.15.06 :: tool edition Florida Senator Mel Martinez has been hand-picked by Bush to head the Republican National Committee when Ken Mehlman steps down in January. Former Maryland Lieutenant Governor Michael Steele originally wanted this position. However, apparently the Republicans have tired of trying to secure a higher Black vote, so they've decided to curtail their forays into minstrelsy for now. Instead, they want to go after the "little brown" voters (remember when Papa Bush called his half-Hispanic grandchildren the "little brown ones"? Wasn't that the sweetest thing ever?)
Can I just say that Mel Martinez is a GOP tool? Saying that he was "hand-picked" by Bush easily translates to Bush has his hand so far up Martinez's bum that he could tickle his uvula. But if anything, this means that Martinez is loyal to the regime. And we all know what happens to those who are loyal to the king. They get the pick of the land. And we get bent over yet another barrel.
Fortunately, this barrel ain't mine. Don't worry, though, GOPers...we're stuck with Dean. Yes, I cop to the fact that I was very intrigued by Dean in the beginning. I didn't vote for him in the primary though. Hell, I didn't even vote for Kerry. I voted for John Edwards. Do with that one what you will...
Yee Ha!!
11.15.06 :: assertion edition I correct myself on my assumption that those kidnapped yesterday in Baghdad would be beheaded. Many have been released.
I, however, do not correct myself on my assertion that religious fundamentalists will do whatever it takes to frighten away those who wish to spread knowledge. Remember the cliched quote that so many chose for their high school class rings? "Knowledge is Power"? It is power, and those who crave absolute power will do whatever it takes to stop the spread of power through the masses...Whatever. It. Takes.
11.14.06 :: glimmer gone edition You know, just when you start having hope for a state, they turn around and do something so abhorrently stupid that you have to wonder how they're able to dress themselves in the morning. So is the feeling toward Missouri which, after voting Claire McCaskill into the Senate, has released a report stating that abortion is partly to blame for the number of illegal immigrants in this country because it is causing a shortage of American workers.
Whathafu? Are you kidding me? But wait, the report then goes on to state that "liberal welfare policies" that encourage Americans not to work are also at fault. What, you mean like Clinton's Personal Responsibility and Work Opportunity Reconciliation Act of 1996, which Republicans have recently targeted for dismantling despite its successful rate of transitioning welfare recipients to work? The crux of PRWORA has been to help welfare recipients receive the training they need to move out of transitional work into higher paying fields. Republicans, however, don't seem to want the lower wage earners to become empowered by Democratic programs. Hmm, I wonder why that is.
As for the first statement, about abortion cutting into the American workforce...let's examine this for a minute, shall we? Illegal immigrants coming into this country are not taking white collar jobs. No. They're taking working class jobs. So when Republicans state that abortion and welfare are cutting into the American workforce, what they're really stating is that abortion and welfare are reducing the number of lower class American workers...you know, the class that neither political party wants to represent anymore. Democrats are too busy chasing primarily after the pigmentationally disenfranchised to care about the people who once formed their party's base...the base that is now disenfranchised by their own one-time voice, thank you Bill Clinton and NAFTA (see, I am an equal opportunity malcontent). And Republicans...well, I'm getting to that.
So, according to Republicans, abortion is reducing the ranks of working class Americans (read: legal voters). And they hate "liberal welfare policies" like PRWORA, which is helping working class Americans advance out of poverty and, eventually, out of the working classes. And while it is true that there are many on the welfare books abusing their status and refusing to pull their own weight, PRWORA has helped to reduce the number of people on welfare significantly (see the above link to my previous statements on PRWORA).
Why are the Republicans so worried about the reduction of the American working class? Is it really because it's bringing in more illegal immigrants? Perhaps. Or is it more Orwellian than any of us thought possible of this regime?
The Party claimed, of course, to have liberated the proles from bondage. Before the Revolution they had been hideously oppressed by the capitalists, they had been starved and flogged, women had been forced to work in the coal mines (women still did work in the coal mines, as a matter of fact), children had been sold into the factories at the age of six. But simultaneously, true to the Principles of doublethink, the Party taught that the proles were natural inferiors who must be kept in subjection, like animals, by the application of a few simple rules.
In reality very little was known about the proles. It was not necessary to know much. So long as they continued to work and breed, their other activities were without importance. Left to themselves, like cattle turned loose upon the plains of Argentina, they had reverted to a style of life that appeared to be natural to them, a sort of ancestral pattern. They were born, they grew up in the gutters, they went to work at twelve, they passed through a brief blossoming-period of beauty and sexual desire, they married at twenty, they were middle-aged at thirty, they died, for the most part, at sixty.
Heavy physical work, the care of home and children, petty quarrels with neighbours, films, football, beer, and above all, gambling, filled up the horizon of their minds. To keep them in control was not difficult. A few agents of the Thought Police moved always among them, spreading false rumours and marking down and eliminating the few individuals who were judged capable of becoming dangerous; but no attempt was made to indoctrinate them with the ideology of the Party.
It was not desirable that the proles should have strong political feelings. All that was required of them was a primitive patriotism which could be appealed to whenever it was necessary to make them accept longer working-hours or shorter rations. And even when they became discontented, as they sometimes did, their discontent led nowhere, because being without general ideas, they could only focus it on petty specific grievances. The larger evils invariably escaped their notice.
...Even the civil police interfered with them very little. There was a vast amount of criminality in London, a whole world-within-a-world of thieves, bandits, prostitutes, drug-peddlers, and racketeers of every description; but since it all happened among the proles themselves, it was of no importance. In all questions of morals they were allowed to follow their ancestral code. The sexual puritanism of the Party was not imposed upon them. Promiscuity went unpunished, divorce was permitted. For that matter, even religious worship would have been permitted if the proles had shown any sign of needing or wanting it. They were beneath suspicion. As the Party slogan put it: 'Proles and animals are free.'
Orwell's protagonist, Winston Smith, wrote that "if there is hope, it lies with the proles." Winston believed that Big Brother could be overturned if only the proles came together to overthrow the tyranny imposed upon them all.
So again I ask: Why would it be that the Republicans don't want the American working class to be reduced in any way, whether it be by, as they claim, abortion and welfare, or diluted by illegal immigrants who can't vote?
11.14.06 :: intelligence raid edition They say that the greatest joy of a parent is when the child surpasses them. Seems that the fledgling work of the Bush Religious Republic being brought to Iraq has done just that. In this country, Bush and his Christian conservatist cronies just squash intellectual advancement through veto and other legal blockades. They demonize the intelligentsia, basically bringing into the large scale political arena the same "jock versus nerd" mentality that festers in any high school in this country.
In Iraq, however, they skip the name calling. They don't bother with words or vetos or legal blocking. They instead plow in and kidnap the researchers. How many of those 150 researchers are going to be found beheaded, I wonder. And now Iraq's higher education minister has suspended classes at universities. And the most disturbing effect of these attacks?
Thousands of professors and researchers have fled to neighboring countries to escape the lawlessness and sectarian strife, robbing the country of its brain trust.
The academics apparently were singled out for their relatively high public stature, vulnerability and known views on controversial issues in a climate of deepening Islamic fundamentalism.
When they need rationale the most, the Iraqi people are being left with nothing more than religious fundamentalism to "guide" them. And we can attest to how well that works, can't we?
11.09.06 :: contemplative edition This one's going to be long, snoggees. Things are finally starting to set in. Perhaps I'm feeling a much smaller sensation of what Congressional Democrats are right now feeling. It looks like things are close to being resolved in Virginia. It looks like the Senate might switch hands as well. We of the liberal bent have finally gotten what we've wanted for so long: our voice back.
Now we have to figure out how to harmonize again. We're all over the place right now. I understand the discordance. Part of it began with Bill Clinton, the "best Republican president we've ever had." His centrist actions while president began (deepened?) a schism in the Democratic party. He did great things while in office, but he also did horrible things to his party's base. I still hold deep enmity toward how he not only abandoned this country's blue-collar workers...he eviscerated them. NAFTA was the working class death knell.
Then began the Republican reign, which only exacerbated the discord. We became disenfranchised, which led to the desperation that has earmarked our party for far too long. The unified voice of the Republican regime drown out the weakened cacophony of our diminished, discordant ranks. Though their messages have been oftentimes frighteningly abhorrent, the one thing the GOP had over us was that they are a well-oiled machine. We've become an unholy mess.
I'm not blind. I know that the primary reason that the American people voted for Democrats this time is because they were voting against the Republican regime. It's the same reason that so many people voted for John Kerry in the 2004 presidential elections: "Anyone but Bush" syndrome. Unfortunately, the syndrome was not quite strong enough 2 years ago. This time, it's at a fatal (for the GOP) level nationwide.
But now what? Have Democrats been oppressed as a party for so long, clawing in so many different directions, that they have forgotten how to work together? Nancy Pelosi is slated to become the first female speaker of the House. I don't really care about this historical chapter for her memoirs. What I care about is whether she is going to bring our party together, to run with the same enviable smoothness of the GOP machine. Democrats are supposed to have a message. They're supposed to be the party of the New Deal. They're supposed to be the voice for those who have no voice.
John Kerry failed in 2004 because of the terminal lack of resolve to which we as a party have succumbed. He second-, third-, and fourth-guessed himself. He didn't know where he stood because none of us knew. And the sharp vitriolic teeth of the GOP machine chewed him to shreds. He meant well. He fought hard, though he was a David who had no faith in himself to defeat a Goliath that the Democratic party was in no way ready to slay.
Those who visit here know that I am a terminal Democrat. I'm also a realist. I have wished for nothing more vehemently than for the Republicans to lose their stronghold on this country. The path down which they have led us is dark and snarled and ugly. They have given voice to the most hateful people - the worst representations of this great country. The damage is not irreversible, but we must be united in order to be the breakers against the ugly red tsunami that the GOP has unleashed.
That's where the realism comes in. Democrats must deliver. Not just to ensure that we actually have a fighting chance at the White House in 2008. No, Democrats must come together because they have got to represent real America. Not the elitist demagoguery that the Republicans have established through Bush. We are called the "melting pot" for a reason: We are possibly the most diverse nation in the world. I think this is from where we gained our reputation for so long as the greatest nation. We represented to other countries that those of great diversity can unify. The GOP diminished this unity by making it not just unacceptable but unpatriotic to be different. The donkey must find its harmony and it must sing the battle cry loudly and strongly that we are still one nation indivisible. We just lost our way for a little while. Now it's time to come out of the woods and reclaim our standing, not just in title but in actions, as the greatest nation.
11.08.06 This is just a day of untitled contemplations. A Democrat won in Montana. Virginia might go either way. And now this: Donald Rumsfeld is out.
I'm still having a hard time wrapping my brain around this one...
11.08.06
"A little patience, and we shall see the reign of witches pass over, their spells dissolve, and the people, recovering their true sight, restore their government to its true principles. It is true that in the meantime we are suffering deeply in spirit, and incurring the horrors of a war and long oppressions of enormous public debt.... If the game runs sometimes against us at home we must have patience till luck turns, and then we shall have an opportunity of winning back the principles we have lost, for this is a game where principles are at stake." --Thomas Jefferson
There is great cause for celebration this morning. The House is once more in Democratic control. There is tenuous hope (but hope nonetheless) that the same could happen for the Senate. I'm still cautious in my optimism about the possible return to a Democratic Maryland. Yes, everyone is declaring Cardin and O'Malley the winners, but Ehrlich and Steele refuse to concede based on the fact that there are still absentee ballots to be counted. Lots of absentee ballots, thanks to Ehrlich's long-term push for voters to use this system rather than the computers. I'm more suspicious than ever about that push by Ehrlich. I'm also disappointed in how close both these races were, in a state where registered Democrats outnumber registered Republicans 2 to 1.
But for now we celebrate. Then we get to work. Don't botch this. The American people have sent Democrats a message. They have pulled the crown from the head of the God-Ordained Plutocracy. They are calling for new leadership. They are entrusting Democrats to pull us out of the mire, to bring back some level of ethics and responsibility to constituents that the GOP abandoned in droves. Repubicans became the full-on embodiment of the addage that "Power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely." Don't let this happen to you, Donkeys, if you do take both Houses back. You guys cannot screw this up. Too many people are counting on you. The next presidential election could also very well be swung by the success or failure of the next 2 years. If Democrats let themselves be weighted down by the pill of bitterness that they have been forced to swallow for the past 6 years of Bush's uncontested reign, they can pretty much just wrap up the presidency and hand it over to the next Repubican king to take over.
I am cautious in my optimism. I wish someone other than Nancy Pelosi was going to be the new speaker of the House. I find her oftentimes to be shrill and obtuse. Hopefully, she will tone it down. I hope Lieberman finds in his new Independent status the chutzpah to the be the Democrat he never was when he was with the Democratic party. Most of all, I hope with this new blue tide that we can start making some advances with stem cell research. Missouri got the message. We all need to get the same message. Too many people are being refused the help that this research could provide, for ludicrous reasons.
Celebrate. Then get to work, guys. We're all counting on you.
11.05.06 :: remember, remember edition Remember, remember the fifth of November,
The gunpowder, treason and plot,
I see of no reason why gunpowder treason
Should ever be forgot.
Guy Fawkes, Guy Fawkes, 'twas his intent
To blow up the King and the Parliament.
Three score barrels of powder below,
Poor old England to overthrow:
By God's providence he was catch'd
With a dark lantern and burning match.
Holloa boys, holloa boys, make the bells ring.
Holloa boys, holloa boys, God save the King!
Hip hip hoorah!
"...In the spirit of commemoration, thereby those important events of the past usually associated with someone's death or the end of some awful bloody struggle, a celebration of a nice holiday, I thought we could mark this November the 5th...by taking some time out of our daily lives to sit down and have a little chat. There are of course those who do not want us to speak. I suspect even now, orders are being shouted into telephones, and men with guns will soon be on their way.
"Why? Because while the truncheon may be used in lieu of conversation, words will always retain their power. Words offer the means to meaning, and for those who will listen, the enunciation of truth. And the truth is, there is something terribly wrong with this country, isn't there? Cruelty and injustice, intolerance and oppression. And where once you had the freedom to object, to think and speak as you saw fit, you now have censors and systems of surveillance coercing your conformity and soliciting your submission.
"How did this happen? Who's to blame? Well certainly there are those more responsible than others, and they will be held accountable, but again truth be told, if you're looking for the guilty, you need only look into a mirror. I know why you did it. I know you were afraid. Who wouldn't be? War, terror, disease. There were myriad problems which conspired to corrupt your reason and rob you of your common sense. Fear got the best of you, and in your panic you turned to the now high chancellor, Adam Sutler George Bush. He promised you order, he promised you peace, and all he demanded in return was your silent, obedient consent.
"...More than four hundred years ago a great citizen wished to embed the fifth of November forever in our memory. His hope was to remind the world that fairness, justice, and freedom are more than words, they are perspectives.
"So if you've seen nothing, if the crimes of this government remain unknown to you, then I would suggest you allow the fifth of November to pass unmarked. But if you see what I see, if you feel as I feel, and if you would seek as I seek, then I ask you to stand beside me one year from tonight two days from tonight, outside the gates of Parliament doors of your designated voting area, and together we shall give them a fifth seventh of November that shall never, ever be forgot."
Remember, remember...
11.03.06 :: reminder edition Nothing poignant. Just a friendly reminder that Election Day is approaching. Please don't forget to vote.
11.01.06 :: plastic people edition I often question whether the talking heads of the Repubican regime are real people or just Stepford equivalents. Now I have proof: They're nothing more than talking action figures.
I honestly can't imagine a more terrifying gift than a talking Dr. Laura action figure. Oh wait. Ann Coulter. That would most definitely be worse.
11.01.06 :: rally edition It was a badly worded jab that really missed its mark. What's worse is that Kerry carressed a topic that neither he nor Bush has any right broaching.
It's not education that determines whether or not you'll make good shrapnel fodder; it's class. The Army isn't sending recruiters to Ivy League schools like the ones that Kerry and Bush attended. No. Recruiters are going the poorest areas of this country. The areas where the coarseness of day-to-day drowns out the luxury of caring about the deep machinations of the political world. We take for granted in major cities like D.C. the fact that we have time to pick apart every word, every action, every nuance of this country's politicians. Our white collars afford us not just access to this plethora of political knowledge, but also the freedom to devour it at our own leisure. Jobs in which you punch a time clock do not have the same freedom.
These are the areas to which recruiters travel. Areas in which families often don't have the funds to send their children off to college. Areas where a stint in the military is perhaps the only way these young people are ever going to afford a continued education (just ignore the fact that you might not ever make it back to the States to continue that education).
Recruiters exploit these areas: exploit their often deep faith; exploit their lack of knowledge concerning political machinations; exploit their patriotism. They rile them up with promises that they are defending God and country and that their actions will change the course of history. No mention is made of how they are poor men's sons and daughters fighting a war begun by an elitist asshole who never saw a day of battle...who has no idea what flesh looks like as it's shred by white-hot shards of metal...and who will not be anywhere near when those soldiers are shipped back in boxes draped by the flag they think they are defending.
Kerry has agitated waters in which he does not belong. He served well in Vietnam even though he had the option to ignore his noblesse oblige the way Bush and most of his cohorts did. But there is a very different feeling of knowing that you have no other choice but to serve. There is no draft now, but there are other factors that make one feel as though they have to serve...reasons such as the deeply entrenched lie that we are doing good in Iraq, that we are battling terrorism and bringing freedom.
Kerry perhaps meant well in his attempt yesterday. Perhaps his comments stem from the bitterness he still feels at being attacked for his service by those who never saw what he saw in Vietnam. It's a rightful bitterness, to be certain. But Kerry would do us all justice by funneling that bitterness into more carefully worded jabs at those who deserve his vitriole. We're trying to win back Congress, Johnny. Help us; don't sink us.
10.31.06 :: future democrat edition
As Bush amps up his lies about how voting for Democrats will be like voting for the terrorists, this kid perfectly captures the sentiment of every person in this country still capable of rational thought.
10.26.06 :: end of faith edition Slate.com promotes the concept that we shouldn't think Rush Limbaugh is stupid because of his comments about Michael J. Fox. I don't think he's stupid. I think he's just another obei for the cult of Republicanism, where "Thou shalt have no other gods before me" has been replaced by "You're either with us or against us." I think he and the other obei are the ones with the brains. I think, however, they promote the cessation of thought by their followers. Look at what they do to Democrats all the time. Among their favorite tactics is the labeling of Democrats as elitist or out of touch because they exhibit intelligence. John Kerry was effete because he was smart. He was wishy-washy because he examined the evidence and altered his views as events changed.
Bush, however, is a man's man (but not in the gay way, of course). He says things like nukular and strategery and that makes him real, just like every man (never mind that "every man" didn't attend Yale). He's strong because he "stays the course," even if the course ends with a mangling plummet off a rocky cliff. And let's not forget: He's a man of faith. He doesn't need knowledge and understanding to guide him. He's got his Bible and his god to lead his crusade.
Selah and check your brain at the door.
No wonder there are people like Sam Harris, the Atheist Evangelist. I have to admit, I'm pretty much a hair's width away from being where Sam Harris is now. Whether because of my limited knowledge of other religions or because of an intrinsic need to believe in something greater than the finite mess we have made of this world, I just can't completely relinquish all my faith.
I have, however, relinquished "my" religion (quotations used simply because Baptist was not my religion but the religion of the school to which my parents sent me). I cannot be among people who relinquish their right to question. Oh the trouble I would get into in high school, especially Bible class. All because I couldn't just accept on faith what they were telling me to believe. Because there were too many holes; too many spritual "dangling modifiers."
That, I think, is why Republicans demonize intelligence; questioning requires answers, and this is a regime that considers answers anathema to their goals. So rally the religious with word that you are God's servant, just doing His will, and impugn the questioners as immoral and godless.
Has anyone ever noticed that many of the most vulgar atrocities throughout history have been committed in the name of or justified by religion? We kill. We subjugate. We rape. We maim. We enslave. We inflict the absolute worst of humanity upon each other in the name of a being we cannot prove even exists. Is there any wonder that someone like Sam Harris promotes abandoning all faith?
10.25.06 :: back in the saddle edition Holy Repulsive Humanity, Batman! Talk about riling up the White Wolf! Did that waddling sack of putridity Rush Limbaugh really accuse Michael J. Fox of exaggerating his Parkinson's disease for political purposes? Did he? First off, pot-kettle-black...or have Repubicans conveniently forgotten their exploitation of Terri Schiavo? What, does it only make it all right when the person is unconsciously exploited for political purposes? Secondly, I hope that you are never faced with such a debilitating disease, because I seriously doubt that you have the personal fortitude to endure such a cruel physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual ravaging.
This kind of thing literally makes me want to scream over how this regime continues to deny scientific research based on biblical manipulation by Christian conservatives...scream over how repugnant this "moral majority" truly is.
You know, yesterday was really pushing me over the edge with the whole "stay the course doesn't really mean stay the course" bull shiitake. That was pretty much the Repubican regime telling its constituents that they view the Amurhakin voter as brainless and gullible and who will believe whatever the regime shoves down their throats. But this? This is just over-the-top Fox Ultra. I think ...I hope that crap like this rings their death knell. LOUDLY.
And with that Loba returns to Angry Vocal Liberal status.
10.23.06 :: shameless plug edition All right, snoggees. You know that Loba doesn't watch a lot of television. If it isn't brought to me by the letters "C," "S," and "I," chances are I'm not going to know anything about it (all the other good shows are off the air and on DVD now, so there you go).
However, I would like to bring to your attention a wellspring in the desert of the real: Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip. It's the latest offering from Aaron Sorkin, the tantalizing brain who brought us a better president in Jed Bartlet than we've seen in the real West Wing since January 20, 2001. This time around, though, he's not writing for fast-talking, unbelievably witty and pithy politicos. He's writing for fast-talking, unbelievably witty and pithy sketch comedy writers and television executives.
The thing is, with him at the helm, it works. I mean, who would have thought that The West Wing would have lasted as long as it did? (I think it would have lasted even longer if Sorkin hadn't left and John Wells hadn't ruined everything with his sticky shticky paws, but that's just me being kvetchy.) Studio 60 is great writing, great acting, great concept. Matthew Perry is more than Chanandler Bong. Josh Lyman goes Hollywood right down to the coke habit. Amanda Peet! I guess whores do get a second chance! (Peet fans, stop! Don't flame me...remember Identity and you'll understand!)
If you haven't seen the show (and at 10 p.m. on Monday nights, it's on at a really unflattering time, so you might not have taken note yet), I would highly recommend giving it a chance. West Wing fans will immediately recognize the Sorkin writing style. Sadly, it makes one reminiscent for the more politically charged banter of C.J., Leo, Tobey, Jed, and all those other great characters. It's not here. Different show. Different coast. Still very much worth a try...
10.23.06 :: artistic edition I'm a huge Doonesbury fan. Shocking, right? I've religiously read the strip since I was in college. My morning cannot begin until I have read the latest entry. Mondays are paused until I can catch up on the weekend's activities.
I don't mind that I know virtually nothing about Garry Trudeau. I find that the older I get, the less interesting I find celebrity gossip (dear lord, I sound like I grew up in an era of hoop skirts and horseless carriages!). I know that he's married to Jane Pauley. That's about as deep as my knowledge goes...hell, I just realized less than a year ago that his first name is spelled with two Rs!
Regardless, I highly recommend this Post magazine article on Garry Trudeau and his comic strip. Particular focus is paid to his recent and highly moving storyline on his coach/soldier character B.D., who recently lost his leg in Iraq.
10.23.06 :: happy smurfday edition What a lovely thing to read on a chilly Monday morning: The Smurfs were first introduced on October 23, 1958. Bet you didn't realize that they were so old, did you? Did you also know that they are Belgian in origin (in French, they are known as "Les Schtroumpfs") and created by Pierre Culliford, a cartoonist who went by the moniker Peyo? Better trivia: my wacky Baptist school informed all our parents during the height of 1980s Saturday morning "Smurf-steria" that the Smurfs were demonic and the cartoon was drawn by a coven of witches that went by the name Peyo. Those Crazy Christians.
10.18.06 :: universal sign edition The cabbie who had driven us from the airport to our hotel had recommended this as a great pub for music and dance. We wanted a place to unwind; I wanted a place to have a proper pint and a glimpse of the Dublin norm to top off our touristy day. Inside, bodhrán, flute, and accordion merged with that most glorious of all sounds in Ireland: that gorgeous Irish accent. The musicians sang; they chatted up the audience with meandering stories that may or may not have been true...but they were marvelous either way. There is nothing more loquacious than an Irishman with an audience, no matter what the size. And this pub was packed. We were able to finally locate one empty table near the door and I quickly made my way to the bar to appease my desire to drink Guinness as often as possible.
Soon another couple entered the pub, making their way in from a damp evening stroll. They saw the two empty seats at our table and approached. "Are these seats unoccupied?" Their English was proper and tentative; not their first language. The accent hinted at a Scandinavian root as did their appearance: fair hair and almost translucent skin etched with the ruddiness of blustery winters passing. We smiled and gestured that the chairs were theirs. The man brought back pints for them--not the thick darkness of a Guinness, but the golden hue of a Heineken. We all sat silently, our chairs turned toward the stage where our entertainment played on.
Shortly, the woman turned her chair back toward the table and began removing something from her coat pocket. It was a small pouch, which contained an envelope of rolling paper and a tin of tobacco. Her companion noticed her movements and they conversed quietly in their native language as she proceeded to hand-roll a cigarette. I've seen this in movies before. It's so much cooler in reality. She deftly measured out the perfect amount of tobacco onto the paper and rolled it into proper form. Sealing the cigarette with a swift lick, she patted his arm and moved once more to the door. Smokers are now exiled from pubs, so they contentedly line the curbs outside, puffing plumes of smoke into the heather-colored dusk.
Smoking must have quite a drying effect on the palate, because when she returned, she knocked back half her pint in one impressive swallow. Her companion was absorbed in the music, his back once more turned to the table. His pint was still nearly untouched. And then his pint became the nearly finished as she switched glasses. She glanced up at me and winked--that universal symbol that transcends any language barrier with its simple impish elegance--and I couldn't help but laugh.
10.13.06 :: unlucky edition Is it proper form to say "Happy Friday the 13th"? I mean, is there anything happy about being such a stigmatized day? Or for that matter, such a stigmatized number? Actually, though, left-handed people often adopt "13" as their lucky number. Bet you didn't know that, did you? It's because Southpaws are considered to do everything backward (of course, only ignorant right-handed people are of this mindset, but since they're the majority, the notion has stuck)...so naturally, if something is considered unlucky by most, we Southpaws will embrace it as its opposite form. Of course, this probably also stems from the fact that our language is so geared toward spinning left-handedness as unlucky or evil. Did you know that the Latin word for left is "sinister"? No wonder we would embrace 13...what better number for the sinistral person?
Personally, 9 is my lucky number...although 13 has never bothered me. Neither has 666...but maybe that's just me.
10.12.06 :: identity crisis edition The lair is currently going through an identity crisis...actually, the resident of the lair is. Loba is weary, snoggees. Even with everything imploding on the God-Ordained Plutocracy, I simply find no spark in anything I read. I yawn when reading the paper. I flip off the news channel I listen to in my car, preferring the numbing beats of London trance music. Or Ray LaMontagne. I love Ray. He's kind of scruffy and sometimes looks a little homeless-y, has a voice like a rock quarry lullaby, and, even though he was born in New Hampshire and has released two albums, I had never heard of him prior to a stop at a Virgin Megastore in London. He probably doesn't get any air play here because he looks scruffy...scruffy people don't acquire fame in the States, luv. He is absolutely awesome and his CD Till the Sun Turns Black is one of the best I've bought in a long time.
Wait. What was I talking about? See, this is what Loba is trying to say: my contemplative desire is dwindling when it comes to politics. So I'm taking a break. I don't know if it will be a long break or, come post-November elections I'm struck by a new fervor. I'm hoping it will be a positive fervor brought about by a Democratic House and...maybe even a Democratic Senate? Wow, that would rock. I want a positive fervor. Either that or I'm going to end up scorching a path of fury the length of the World Wide Web. We'll just have to wait and see, I suppose.
I will still be padding around the lair, dropping contemplations as I see fit. But they'll more than likely be wandering little widgets like thoughts on the annoyance of paper toilet seat covers versus the "hover" effect. I mean, what exactly do paper toilet seat covers protect you from? Besides drunken Santa Clauses, of course (old school Saturday Night Live reference here, kiddies, circa John Belushi, Laraine Newman and, I think, Bill Murray). You use one after a "hover" effect follower with bad aim (and, let's face it, they ALL have bad aim) has been in the stall and all you end up doing is sitting down on a wet paper ring. And what does paper do when it's wet? It sticks. So now you have a wet paper ring stuck to your bum by "hover" remnants. Think about that for a moment and shudder at your discretion.
See, this is the type of flotsam that floats to the top when politics isn't on my mind. I'm just giving you fair warning, snoggees. This is going to be de rigueur at the lair, at least for a while.
10.11.06 :: war path edition The NCAA has ruled that the logo currently used by Virginia's College of William & Mary for their athletic team, nicknamed "The Tribe," is offensive to American Indians and they must phase it out of use.
Perhaps the NCAA should be placed in charge of the NFL. Perhaps then we would no longer have a team called the "Redskins," which is interminably racist yet allowed to remain because it's "tradition." Tradition? Slavery was once a "tradition," too.
I'm still waiting for someone to justify why it was so easy for us to change the name of our basketball team from the Bullets (which was a far more deserved name for a Washington, D.C.-based team than "Redskins") to the Wizards...but we can't change the name of our football team, which has a name that is as hurtful a racial epithet to American Indians as the "N-word" is to Black people.
10.05.06 :: taco dog edition I loved the Taco Bell chihuahua. He didn't ever persuade me to return to Taco Bell after my...well, let's just call it my unfortunate Grade F beef allergy. But he was cute and amusing, and I was sad to see him go.
Check this YouTube spoof on the demise of the "Bureeto Barn" chihuahua. Funny, funny. I don't know why, but the dog paw slicing coke lines was what cracked me up the most.
10.04.06 :: repeat edition I remember my high school history teacher telling us whenever we would complain about how boring history class was that "Those who don't know their history are doomed to repeat it." A 15-year-old isn't going to understand that, though.
A 60-year-old still doesn't understand that. His father even knew better than to rattle Iraq's beehive of religious fanatics. Of course, this is the same motley fool who didn't even feel that he needed to hang around for history to unfold in Vietnam, predecessor to our current mire in Iraq.
So I've updated my history teacher's statement a little, in honor of my utmost respect for our president. I'm actually thinking about turning this one into a T-shirt. What do you think?
10.04.06 :: editor edition Mark Foley statement, unedited: "I take full responsibility for my actions. Even though it was really the fault of the priest who molested me when I was a teen...and the fact that I was drunk all the times I made sexual advances toward those underaged pages...including the time I had cybersex with one teenager when I should have been paying attention to that evening's House vote on Emergency War Time supplemental appropriations."
Mark Foley statement, had he consulted an editor instead of a lawyer: "I take full responsibility for my actions."
10.03.06 :: giddy edition It's like a Schadenfreude Christmas right now for the myriad who are sick of the God-Ordained Plutocracy. In addition to the unfolding Foley scandal:
Republicans say they are in grave danger of losing the seat of former House majority leader Tom DeLay (Tex.), as well as those held by Rep. Robert W. Ney (Ohio) -- who agreed to plead guilty to corruption charges in the investigation into the activities of convicted former lobbyist Jack Abramoff -- and Rep. Don Sherwood (Pa.), who has been embroiled in a scandal over an affair.
In addition, Republicans have largely given up on holding the seat of retiring Rep. Jim Kolbe (Ariz.), and strategists are pessimistic about retaining open seats in Colorado and Iowa and the seat now held by Rep. John N. Hostettler (Ind.).
Some Republicans also said Rep. Thomas M. Reynolds (N.Y.), the NRCC's chairman and one of the GOP leaders who knew about a non-graphic communication between Foley and a former page, could face an even tougher challenge for his Buffalo area seat. Reynolds and Hastert sniped at each other over the weekend about who knew what and when.
Apparently, the plutocracy has never heard the addage, "Those who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones." Seems that they've now all been hoist by their own immoral petards.
Pardon me while I whip out my maniacal laughter.
10.03.06 :: flying monkeys edition I am completely remiss. In all my ramblings about Dublin and London, I have completely missed speaking of the climactic ending of the journey: second night previews for Wicked. I had seen this musical on Broadway in March of last year...front row seats that we won at that evening's ticket lottery. That was to die for - my first Broadway show and everything. Shoshana Bean had taken over the role of Elphaba at that point and was doing a marvelous job. It's a phenomenal musical and does the story beautiful justice regardless of the many turns away from the book it takes along its own yellow brick road. Still, there was that small kernel of sadness within me that I didn't get the chance to see Idina Menzel as Elphaba.
Flash-forward to the curtain rising at the Apollo Victoria on September 8, 2006. The Time Dragon Clock above the proscenium awoke, smoke curling from its nostils, red eyes flashing at the expectancy rising from the audience. It was amazing and so exciting to me that here was this primarily British audience packed to capacity, joyfully embracing this thoroughly American musical and its thoroughly American star. It was only second night of previews, and there wasn't an empty seat to be seen.
Glinda arrived by bubble, Australian and perky (it was an interesting choice that they chose not to hide their accents from the audience a la Chicago; just emphasized American Elphaba's differences even more). We all quickly fell into the cadence of the music and the words, the beauty of the sets and costumes.
Then the spark of green as she finally made her entrance, charging to the front of the stage in true Elphaba style...and the musical literally almost came to a stop to allow the thunderous wave of applause and cheers buoy this tiny green girl with the white stripe of a smile against emerald skin. Had Idina Menzel worried about whether the West End would welcome her as she had been welcomed on Broadway, there certainly could be no further doubt. The applause, the cheers, the laughter, and in the end, the tears were not in short supply at all.
And, dear gods, that voice. Were I to take my CD and hook it up to the largest speakers I could find and crank "Defying Gravity" as loudly as it would go, that would only reach a fraction of the volume and richness of hearing her live. There was not one brick of that building that was not touched by her voice. And the moment when she was suspended high above the stage by both platform and vocals, singing my favorite song from the soundtrack...that was the moment most worth the price of admission. It was the front seat fluttering giddiness of an inverted coaster, squared. Yes, it truly was that spectacular.
Idina Menzel is only slated to play Elphaba long enough to welcome the Brits into this new Oz. By January, there will be a new Elphaba, but I predict that Wicked is going to be defying gravity for quite some time to come at the Apollo Victoria (ironically, the inside of this theatre is emerald green, with lots of Ozian type glasswork...very flattering).
And there you have it, snoggees. I have rectified my error, both in not seeing Ms. Menzel when she was actually on my side of the pond, and in not sharing with you all the experience. Hope you enjoyed this little glimpse into the special place in my heart reserved for musicals.
10.02.06 :: recognition edition I'm seriously disturbed (as anyone should be) about this latest school shooting. An Amish school? No high school deserves this...but there's something just so intrinsically worse about attacking people who travel by horse-and-buggy and don't even use electricity or telephones. Were they chosen because of these differences? We must wait to know. I'm just at a loss over things like this...no matter how different others are from you, there is always the recognition of something similar. We're all humans. At the very elemental level, THAT should be enough.
So why isn't it?
10.02.06 :: senseless edition Why the hell would someone want to gun down Amish kids?
10.02.06 :: revelation edition Wow. I am thoroughly surprised that the revelations about Mark Foley's lascivious behavior toward underaged pages have actually picked up steam in the reporting world. I was absolutely convinced, when this broke VERY QUIETLY on Friday afternoon that the Republicans would do everything they could to continue to keep this on the DL.
Curious how this is going to play out in Florida. Very curious.
09.29.06 :: state of denial edition Hmm. I probably shouldn't write about Bush while listening to Godsmack. Not exactly soothing music. I've switched to something a little mellower...but I still detest George Bush. I'm just calmer now in my hatred.
Bob Woodward wrote another book on the Bush regime. It sounds interesting in what it reveals. I'm sure all the liberals will love it, myself included. Too bad Republican supporters won't read it. They would rather depend upon what their pastors tell them to believe (not think; believe...thinking is for liberal devil worshippers).
Man, I'm cranky. I should be grateful that I live in this wonderful theocratic plutocracy (or is it a plutocratic theocracy?)
09.29.06 :: cut and run edition I just sliced the holy hell out two of my fingers. How, you might wonder? On a plastic yogurt lid. Whatha? I've been maimed by Lucerne piña colada yogurt. Now my fingers look like they have little smiles on them. Not cool.
Wanna know what else isn't cool? That chest-thumping-in-public-but-candy-assed-to-his-core little shirker calling us "The party of cut and run" in front of yet another regime-sanctioned audience. Wow, made your comments in Bunnykill, Alabama, did ya? Way to step outside the Red State box. Besides, what does this cowardly little AWOL-humping shit know about cut and run? Oh wait! That's exactly what he did during Vietnam. Why doesn't he take his comments to the real people of America...not the Red Theocracy of Jesusland.
Useless and treacherous are a horrible combination.
09.28.06 :: fingered edition UK scientists must be kinda bored. Or else they have a female finger fetish...and are really into aliteration. They have announced that their studies indicate that if a girl's ring finger is longer than her index finger, she will have greater athletic potential.
Cool. Just for the record, Loba's ring fingers are longer than her index fingers. I wasn't all-county in high school softball for nothin'.
09.25.06 :: contemplative edition On my drive into work, I was thinking about Dublin and London. Not in any sort of "I hate what America has become under the current regime; I wish I was back over there" kind of way (which, to be honest, is how I have felt since returning to this country). Actually, what sparked the thinking was a cyclist riding in a bike lane on one of the main roads I travel to work. They were decked out in their bike helmet and Spandex pants and reflective jacket and trainers and looked like they were the lost member of Lance Armstrong's squad.
I don't recall seeing any cyclists in London, but the cycle commuters in Dublin are bloody fearless. They don't don cyclist wardrobes. I saw men in business suits peddling along the thoroughfares, along with women in skirts and dresses. No helmets. No bike lanes. They peddle within the skinny parameter between curb and lane line. I suppose this is where they're really depending on that whole Luck of the Irish phenomenon, because I watched in horror as buses and 18-wheelers rumbled by with mere inches between them and the cyclists...and the cyclists never flinched.
Dublin's streets are similar to London's in that they have painted on the curb which way you should look before crossing the street. I still couldn't get into the "wrong side of the road" driving mentality, so this was a greatly appreciated gesture. What I did find interesting was how handicap-friendly Dublin was. Every intersection was outfitted with an audible crossing alert for the blind. You get used to it very quickly and in fact move according to the sound rather than the visual cue to walk. It was then quite disconcerting to move on to London and lose that cue.
I also would like to point out that the entire country of Ireland went completely smoke-free in, I think 2004. It's amazing: a major European country that has banned smoking from its pubs and restaurants. And it's quite successful, contrary to major worries right before the ban went into effect. To then switch to London where everyone seemed to smoke made the pollutive effects of cigarette smoke that much more noticeable.
I really enjoyed observing the work-day crowds surging through the Dublin streets early in the morning. I couldn't help but notice that the women in particular looked sharp. Not just sharp as in sharply dressed...but just sharp as in don't get too close; she might puncture you. It seemed like this was a universal attitude. It's strange, but I keep thinking about this one business woman in particular, who somehow has, in my mind, become the exemplification of the Dublin business woman. She was crossing Dame Street (ironic, no?) early in the morning. She was dressed in a fitted brown skirt suit with a white and brown pin-striped silk blouse. Her hair was straight brown and shoulder length. Her make-up was neutral and by no means ostentatious, and I distinctly remember that her lips were perfectly lined in a dark brown, with a softer brown lip coloring. Odd what the memory latches on to.
I don't really remember the working women in London. Isn't that weird? I do, however, remember the men. They all looked so perfectly tailored. I don't think I ever saw any of them in anything other than dark suits though: black, charcoal gray, navy blue, or a pinstriped variation of these colors. Guess that goes with the sooty territory. However, I most enjoyed what was under their suit jackets: brightly coloured Oxford shirts and silk ties. We're talking serious Crayola factory bright. Butter creme shirt with turquoise tie; lavender shirt with deep purple tie; cantaloupe shirt with Key Lime tie. It might sound garish, but it really wasn't. It was spectacular.
And don't even get me started on the accents. Oh, I have such a soft spot for a melifluous accent. Irish accents are gorgeous. I had to force myself to pay attention to what they were saying because I found that I could just get lost in the lilts and valleys of that accent. And I tried to get them to speak as often as I could, including playing my own version of 20 Questions with the cabdriver who drove us from the airport to the hotel. Same with the English accents, although there are so many more different accents there. Perhaps they have as many different accents as the Irish have different Gaelic dialects (Gaelic, by the way...not intuitive AT ALL; don't even attempt to pronounce it unless you're a local or drunk).
I love how they say "Cheers" as a means of greeting, closing, and thanks. It's the European equivalent of "Aloha." I also love how both Dubliners and Londoners call carry-out food "take away." Oh, and if you're ever hungry and in a hurry, two recommendations: O'Brien's in Dublin and Pret-a-Manger in London. Two great sandwich shops that are location-specific. I learned about Irish cuisine; I learned that it goes well beyond corned beef and cabbage (which was a popular menu item). I tried a lamb boxty at Gallagher's in the Temple Bar district. A boxty is pretty much a potato pancake in which the potato has been somehow reduced to its finest grit; not latke-thick strands of potato. The lamb boxty was this pancake wrapped around a lamb stew. It was awesome. So was the lamb dish I had at Gruel, a local favorite highlighted by Lonely Planet. I can't remember the name, but it was so flavorful and hearty. Most of the food we had was hearty fare, designed to fill the body with warmth on those long stretches of winter cold. Kind of like the shot of Jamesons whiskey our tour guide gave us on our first stop. That was just downright menopausal. I did learn, however, that I am not a fan of black and white pudding. I also should not have looked up the pudding's ingredients when I returned home. Ignorance is most definitely bliss in this case.
Incredible the memories and ramblings that a cyclist sighting can inspire, isn't it?
Back to work. Cheers!
09.20.06 :: spokesman of imperialism edition Wow. Talk about pulling no punches. Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez tore it up at the United Nations. TORE IT UP. I'm assuming that some of his...disdain for our imperialist pig president might stem somewhat from Pat Robertson declaring jihad against him a little while ago (Pat Robertson...there's a reincarnated Grand Wizard if I ever saw one).
A2 has brought it to my attention that the full text of Chavez's speech is on the Drudge Report. I refuse to link to his Web site for ethical reasons. You are more than welcome to go there yourselves though if you want to read the whole speech.
While it is not clear exactly what techniques the White House wishes to keep, sources have said those previously used include nakedness, prolonged sensory assault and deprivation, the imposition of "stress" positions, and water submersion to the verge of drowning. Bush has said none of those amounts to torture. (emphasis mine)
As quoted from this article on how Colin Powell is now officially on Bush's shit list.
So here's what I propose. Ship Jenna and Barbara over to one of the secret prisons that Bush's regime has established. Then let Bush decide what he thinks constitutes torture, knowing that whatever his regime sanctions is what his daughters will be forced to endure. Not the same because the Twins are innocent? Again, I refer you to Mr. Maher Arar (see previous contemplation).
09.19.06 :: mistaken identity edition First off, I think we have progressed beyond calling the dangerous little maniac in charge of this country "MonkeyBone." That name, though once suitable, implies that I still find the slightest inkling of amusement in his continued presence. That dog just don't hunt anymore. I'm still trying to figure out what I want to call him now. The only things I keep coming up with are more suitable...but would make sailors cringe from their explicit nature. So I guess until I come up with something new, I'll just refer to him as Bush. Usually when I utter his name, it is with the same disgust that I utter other four-letter words, so it will do for now.
So Bush wants to somehow justify his regime's torture of prisoners. He has even accused his primary detractor, Senator John McCain, of "faulty intelligence" in his attempts to stop the torture of prisoners. Yes, that's right: The little man-child who never once saw the skies over a combat zone is accusing the Vietnam POW of faulty intelligence regarding torture. And in frightening form, his rabid supporters are joining his attack. Case in point:
Conservative radio talker Rush Limbaugh said Friday that opposition to Bush's approach "is going to go down as the event that will result in us getting hit again, and if we do, and if McCain, et al. , prevail, I can tell you where fingers are going to be pointed."
Yes, if we are attacked again, it will have everything to do with McCain and his supporters wanting to show a shred of humanity toward...humans. It will have nothing to do with us bombing the life out of their country and murdering their civillians. It will have nothing at all to do with a feud that spirals all the way through to the beginnings of civilization. Isaac and Ishmael, you fucknuts. That's all I have to say.
Besides, try telling Maher Arar that Bush's torture program is justifiable:
Arar, now 36, was detained by U.S. authorities as he changed planes in New York on Sept. 26, 2002. He was held for questioning for 12 days, then flown by jet to Jordan and driven to Syria. He was beaten, forced to confess to having trained in Afghanistan -- where he never has been -- and then kept in a coffin-size dungeon for 10 months before he was released, the Canadian inquiry commission found.
An innocent man who was falsely identified as a dangerous terrorist had to endure this treatment. That is faulty intelligence. And how many other innocents have had to survive similar torture? According to the article, more than 3,000 people have been captured under this program, many "secretly taken by 'extraordinary rendition' to other countries, hidden from U.S. legal requirements and often subject to torture."
Yet Bush declares that these are justifiable means of protecting our country, and his supporters jump to his cause. When do they finally say enough?
09.18.06 :: end of the affair edition It's been over for a while now. We were just going through the motions because...well, we'd been together for more than 10 years and we were comfortable together, even in our mutual unhappiness. We had changed so much, especially in the past few tumultuous years, that there really was no more common ground on which we could agree. So we met for one more time last night. It seemed at times to be as great as it had been when we first met. But there was the taint of change still there, still reminding me that it will never be truly that great again. At the end of the evening, we parted ways, perhaps not for good but at least for a while.
And so comes to an end my love affair with country music. It couldn't have been a better ending though - third row seats for Terri Clark. In the words of Wayne Campbell, she wails. I've always loved her voice and her lyrics as well as how, throughout her career, she has remained different among the bevy of Nashville Barbies. It was a strength that added to her allure. I think right now though, even she is relenting to the deluge of jingoism roiling through the country camp. Though she's not draping herself in red, white, and blue, she has definitely undergone a shift that has dimmed her uniqueness just enough to be noticeable by long-time fans.
I will continue to listen to Terri Clark's CDs, as I will continue to listen to the country CDs that I have purchased over the years. It's a small collection, to be sure, but truly representative of why I loved country music in the first place. I was drawn to it for its simplicity, its honesty, its honky tonk chords and whiskey-soaked vocals. Now, however, there has been a pervasive attitude shift, and the simplicity has been replaced by simple-mindedness. And that's my stop.
I think what sealed the fate of my love affair was last night, staring at the no-neck beer keg two rows in front of me who was wearing a T-Shirt that posed the following philosophical question: "What do deer and women have in common?" From the drawing of a mounted deer head with large antlers next to a buxom blonde wearing a camouflage bikini, I figured the answer would have to include the word "rack." But no, it wasn't even that clever. He leaned forward and I saw the answer: "The hornier the better."
At that moment, I understood: These were not my people and I was not their people. I don't want to listen to the music of a people who so blatantly debase women. This included the no-neck beer keg two seats down from Mr. Buck-and-Fuck, who constantly yelled out lewd comments to Terri Clark whenever she would engage the audience in friendly stage banter. Interestingly, he never made a peep when the male opening act talked to the audience. Disturbingly, his wife never made a peep when he was harrassing Terri Clark. She and others around him simply laughed at his ribald shouts encouraging the singer to strip on stage. Had I paid for a striptease accompanied by the blathering of a bellicose redneck, perhaps I would have been more inclined to be amused as well.
I'm not blind. I know that country music is a genre geared toward people with a completely different mindset from mine. For more than 10 years I was an East Coast Yankee in the Confederacy's Court. It wasn't until last night that I truly felt like an outsider. I guess our differences are now just too deep a chasm at this point. Does that make me a fairweather friend? I guess it does. So be it.
So Terri Clark sang the swan song of my love affair. I couldn't have asked for a better farewell.
09.15.06 :: deep in the heart edition An intelligent, concerned, and truly compassionate Texas politician is seemingly extinct. That rare breed lost one of its greatest champions yesterday. I can't speak eloquently about Ann Richards. I knew who she was politically. I knew she was a Texas Democrat, something that seems to be almost an oxymoron now. I knew that anyone who would stand before the DNC and declare that George H.W. Bush had been born with a "silver foot in his mouth" was someone I could like.
I'll defer to this appreciation piece, written by one of Governor Richards' deputy press secretaries, for a better glimpse of who this feisty woman was and what she meant.
09.15.06 :: gack edition I thought it was just a cruel joke at first...surely her family wouldn't sell her out like this, would they? Could they? Didn't they learn from the appalling beer commercials with a resurrected John Wayne? Or, even worse, Fred Astaire reanimated to dance with...a vacuum?
But, alas, it's true. Gap has brought back Audrey Hepburn to introduce their new line of black pants, which they have named...Audrey Pants. For the commercial, they have pulled the beatnik club dance scene from Funny Face (which ironically co-stars vacuum-dancing Fred Astaire). However, now Audrey is dancing to AC/DC's "Back in Black." I'm sure some inconsiderate twit thought this was clever.
Sigh. What next? Orson Welles selling the Washington Post? DeForrest Kelley ads for Kaiser Permanente?
09.15.06 :: zoom zoom edition Sammy is back in the shop. Hopefully, they'll figure out this time what is making his circuitry go all wiggy. In the mean time I'm driving a Mazda 3. Hmm. First, let me just reiterate that I love Sammy. He's a wonderful car. He's fully paid off and he's got lots of life left in him. But...now I understand "Zoom Zoom." It's a bit intoxicating. And the car is solid. And sleek. And such a pretty color.
I love Sammy. I love Sammy...
Zoom zoom.
09.14.06 :: deep breaths edition I must now reminisce about Dublin. If not, I fear I might skewer someone with the pointy end of my umbrella. This morning's traffic was rancid ass all the way to work, ending with my headlights dying. I just took Sammy in for service less than a month ago; one of the things I asked them to fix was a strange erratic electrical failure that sometimes struck my clock, but had begun affecting my stereo. I specifically said I wanted the problem fixed now because I didn't want my headlights to suddenly die while I was driving. My exact words. So they charged me out the wazoo for a new battery and declared that this must have been the problem because they didn't notice anything else wrong with my clock or stereo. Fecking bastards (yes, I meant "fecking"...like that word? I picked it up in Dublin).
So I will reminisce for peace...and what better place to remember than Ireland. It's gorgeous, snoggees. I have never seen land so...perfect. Dublin, of course, is at its heart a city. But the blood flow of that heart is a strong Gaelic people. During the rush of the workday, they hurried about their business just as in any other city (although unlike any city in this country simply because of the damask of history that wrapped itself so tightly about everything); but once closing time approached, they left their business behind them and hit the pubs in full joyful force. The music from each pub flooded the streets in syncopated currents of bodhrán, flute, and accordion. Inside, it was rhythm and rousing song...and drink. The drink: Guinness. Guinness is not just a beer. It is an art form. It is honeyed and smooth and flows down your throat like the Wicklow falls from which its water is gathered. It now seems almost sacrilegious to drink Guinness anywhere other than its birthplace (not that this will stop me from drinking it stateside).
Outside Dublin, though...that is where the perfection lies. We traveled south into the Wicklow Mountains. The richness of land and depth of sky bursts from every side. Lush. Dizzying. Greens and purples and yellows and reds. Photos and words fail to capture it all (although I did so desperately try...those damned digital cards and how many photos they can hold...). I'm still trying to narrow down the best photos that I want to upload to the lair. I can't imagine living in a land so beautiful and not feeling eternally humbled each time I opened my eyes. Does that sound cheesy? I don't really care. That's exactly how I felt as I looked out over those verdant mountains, splotched purple by the late summer heather. Humbled and so thankful that I was getting the chance to see in person visions that I have only ever seen in the myriad books I have on Ireland. Want to see what I mean? This is just one of the views we enjoyed.
And this was on an overcast day. I think my lungs might have collapsed had the sun been shining on this view. And this was just the first full day we were there. But further description must wait. Loba is once more calm (thanks to both this contemplation and to the Corrs playlist I'm listening to on my iPod). So I must now begin my work. It's a graphic design day, which is always fun.
Cheers, snoggees.
09.13.06 :: still watching edition Here are Webcams of London and Dublin that I just can't stop checking. The Dublin Webcam is particularly cool because it is a streaming live shot from O'Connell Street Bridge around to the Ha'Penny Bridge. It's a shame it doesn't rotate the opposite direction up O'Connell. Then you could all see the Millennium Spire, which our tour guide said was meant to be the spire of a giant underground cathedral.
The London Webcam is a time-delayed shot of Trafalgar Square, one of the best locations in London. One day I'm going to climb one of Nelson's lions for the ultimate tourist photo-op.
09.13.06 :: readjustment edition Loba's having quite the difficult time readjusting to American time. Loba's also have quite the difficult time readjusting to American life. I'm a bit lethargic and strangely apathetic right now. Snoggees, I didn't even vote yesterday. I just didn't care.
In London, things are happening. Ministers are resigning because they believe so strongly in what they are trying to accomplish. Is it the right thing for them to do? I don't know. I'm not fully versed in the depths of what is taking place. But it was refreshing to witness action. Now, Tony Blair is speaking about leaving in March. Not the immediate turnaround that everyone seems to want...but it's progress forced by their action.
Can you imagine any politician here resigning because they want Bush out of office? I can't. Because they are all so desperately busy protecting their own interests, their own agendas, their own asses. It's disheartening to watch, dissapointing to return to.
I know my fervor will return, if only because it will be sparked by the neverending stupidity of our worthless president. But for now, Loba is content not reading American papers. I miss my free evening copies of the London Lite, which I have to agree was far better than the London Paper, at least on the days we were there (sorry, old chaps). I miss the Tube (change here for Jubilee Line). I miss sooty nostrils and tiny cars that didn't have American flags in the window or yellow ribbon magnets. I miss pubs with music and dancing and Guinness from the source. I miss the Liffey and the Thames.
Perhaps this is why Bush wants us all in a complete state of xenophobia...because when we travel, we escape his and his administration's constant smoke and mirrors game and we see through cleared eyes the danger he is placing us in. It serves his best interest to frighten us all into never leaving this country, never getting a fresh perspective beyond the fearmongering he is constantly feeding us.
Sigh. This wasn't the contemplation I came to do. I came to speak happily of my trip. I swear that will come soon. I just need a little more coffee. Perhaps that will help shake the malaise.
09.11.06 :: remembrance edition It's so strange to think that for the rest of my life, I will always remember exactly where I was and what I was doing on September 11, 2001. I will always remember that helplessness, that fear...that anger and debilitating sadness. I will always remember that on this day, neither Jews nor Christians died...neither Blacks nor Whites died...Americans died. In that moment of unimaginable horror, we were One.
Five years later, we have come undone. We have alienated ourselves from a world that, for a brief moment, shared the heavy burden of our sorrow. Our tour guide in Dublin told us that on September 13, 2001, the entire city of Dublin shut down in a day of mourning for what we had endured. This was not a solitary occurrence. Other countries joined in carrying us forward through our grief. France, who later this country's administration would vilify for its rational outlook on Iraq, declared, "Today, we are all Americans."
This is no more. Today, we are not One America. We are "limp-wristed Democrats." We are the righteous fundamentalists of the Republican Regime who have declared jihad against those who are carrying out their jihad against us. We are led by the Great Decider, whose primary decision was deceit of a nation to execute a wrongful war.
We are tumbling toward total xenophobia. The Divided States of White Versus Other. In my recent travels, I observed the terrifying depth of this truth. I traveled abroad with someone who is decidedly Jewish in both appearance and name. At Dulles, she was immediately tagged when we were checking our luggage. The airline attendant then escorted us to the security checkpoint (because apparently the airport considered this hardly more than 5-feet-tall, petite young woman a severe threat to everyone's security) where I was placed in an unmistakably "Whites Only" line. I was through security in 5 minutes. "Der Jude" was placed in the line that consisted of virtually every ethnic minority traveling abroad through Dulles. She was subjected to a pat down and her carry-on bag was thoroughly searched, including a chemical detection search. She was questioned about the purpose of each belonging in her bag.
On the way back to the States from Heathrow, she was pulled from line again for another "random" search. This time, I accompanied her since, after all, we were traveling together. It was VERY obvious that staff did not expect this and were not thrilled that I was coming with her. Tough shit. This time, we were subjected to a series of scans that were, according to staff, "like low level X-rays." That's lovely, isn't it? We then went through another series of metal detectors and scans of our shoes and carry-on luggage. Then they pulled her bag yet again and went through each section...again. Another chemical check. More questions about everything in the bag. Her lip balm was confiscated and she was chastised for trying to carry on such dangerous contraband. (Note to Heathrow security: I had lip balm in my bag as well; I carried it onto the plane without question. What if behind my benign White face there was evil intent? How would you explain that instead of doing a thorough search of everyone, you were too busy harassing the Others over playing cards and Blistex?)
These were two marring moments on an otherwise wonderful trip. But they were painful reminders that we are not one nation, indivisible. We are a nation of divisiveness and fear perpetrated by our deceitful leaders. And it is an infection that has spread to our one ally. Right now, this ally is trying to cure itself. They want Tony Blair out of office. Now. They would do right in achieving this goal, to perhaps stanch the blood loss they have already endured. The loss of England's support, though good for them, would be a devastating blow to this country. But sadly it is a blow that our own president and his minions have set us up to absorb. September 11, 2001, should have been a terrifying moment in our history that would unify us in the cause of protecting ourselves from future assault. It should have been a moment when we took the hands of charity and compassion extended to us by the world, and joined in strengthening ourselves against the threat of the jihad begun against us.
Instead it became the means for a fool to play war. Now we have lost nearly as many soldiers as we lost civilians on that day in 2001. No end is in sight. The time to find bin Laden and remove him swiftly from the equation is over. Now, even if we did find and eliminate him, the effect would be a strengthening of the Islamic fight against us...and a new martyr for their cause. We are subjecting our own citizens to humiliation. We are angering the believers of a religion that calls for submission or elimination, that does not believe in or want our "gifts" of freedom and democracy. And they have unlimited patience and resolve. How does one defeat such an enemy? Total obliteration?
September 11, 2001, was one of the most decisive moments in American history. The decisions, however, may prove to lead us through far more harrowing night than we could ever imagine. We can only hope...and pray...that there is light on the horizon soon.
09.10.06 :: home again edition Failte, snoggees! Loba has returned! Loba is not necessarily happy to have returned...but I am back nonetheless. Isn't it awful that I really don't miss my "homeland" when I'm away? Family, yes. Friends, yes. America...not so much. I'm sure it's just a severe case of "Grass is Greener" syndrome...but it really is greener on that side of the pond. Really. I have the photo proof! I also had some 80 proof whiskey...and Guinness that should be named Ambrosia when it's fresh. Sigh.
I'm most definitely still on the London/Dublin clock...so work tomorrow should be fun. I don't have my bearings yet at all, so updates on "Where in the World is Loba Sandiego?" will have to wait. So will the photos. I'm going to try a new photo thing, so we'll work on that. I also have some political ranting to do, particularly about the "random security searches" performed by TSA and London's security...but that will wait as well.
I do have to say, it was quite exciting to be in London amidst the flurry of political machinations right now occurring with Tony Blair. Take heart, Bush-hating snoggees...and take heed to those who for whatever still support him--winds of change are blowing. I can't wait to see how this plays out...and I can't wait to see how it affects Cowboy Chimp and his faulty war.
Loba is now going to mellow out to the trance CDs I picked up. I shall return soon with far more details than any of you may want to read!
Cheers!
09.04.06 :: dubliner edition Quick check from the wolf...or as I would be called here in Dublin, Mac Tíre (pronounced "Mock Teerah").
Lots of photos on the digital card. Lots of drinking left to do...so I'm not staying in the lair long. But I was thinking about you all. I'll post photos soon...
Slainte!
09.02.06 :: confessional edition Okay, snoggees, it's time for Loba to come clean about some things I've been hiding. First...the White Wolf is now 30. It happened two days ago. I didn't try to keep it a secret IRL...not that I could have even if I wanted to. See Exhibit A - My office on the morning of August 31:
This is just one of the things that awaited me. There was "30" confetti everywhere. EVERYWHERE. The floor. My desk. My coffee mug. Plus, streamers were taped to my desk, the HVAC unit, the door. And there were balloons. So the secret was out. I was 30.
Now, people who know me, know me well. So what more appropriate gift for the wolf who loves to drink...I give you Exhibit B - LOTS of drinkin':
Notice the wine bottle with the wolf head. Yah! Then there's Belgian beer...very smooth. Milk Stout...it's brewed with lactose. I swear it tastes kinda like drinking coffee with a beer kick. Very good. Also, note the appeasement of the White Wolf's constant craving for caffeine: Bella Fontina coffee. This is awesome coffee. I recommend it to all fellow coffee addicts.
What better way to enjoy a good drink than with a good book or movie? Got those, too, as can be seen in Exhibit C - Properly entitled "DVDs and Books":
But wait...are those travel books?
Moving along. Exhibit D - Art gallery books, for the well-rounded drunk Wolf:
National Gallery, London? Tate Britain? Uh-oh. There IS a theme! Drinking, travel guides, fancy art books?
Yes, that would be the other confessional: Loba is leaving the country. Just for a little while. It's just that sometimes a wolf needs to head to...less jingoistic climes. And what better trip than to see what Guinness tastes like when it's fresh from the brewery? (Although there are certain people accompanying Loba who prefer drinks like...Hooper's Hooch. [I know, snoggees...Loba is shaking her head as well]). Then there will be a little face time with the Royals in Londontown. Might hang out with Camilla for some tea time...maybe a facial (which clearly she needs more than me...I'm just sayin'...she looks a little wind-blown...God save her, and all that royal rot).
Loba will return soon. Should I stumble past an Internet cafe and have some Euros left from pub-crawling or some pounds clinking around that I can't spend in the airport on wine (damn TSA), I'll try to drop a line every now and again.
Take care, snoggees, and I shall see you all again soon.
09.01.06 :: assassin edition I read about this yesterday, but never got around to posting it. Now it's made its way to our shores. The Brits have made a "docudrama" that depicts Bush's assassination.
I wouldn't go this far in ridding us of his presence. But I find this to be an interesting glimpse into international feeling toward the bumbling idiot. Most revealing article quote:
"You will never, ever be able to overestimate the degree to which the British people loathe George Bush.... It will be a free round of drinks in every pub for the person who plays the assassin."
Says a lot for the man who came to the American presidency under the guise of being a great "unitifier" when residents of the only country really supporting his quixotic quagmire want to show him assassinated.
09.01.06 :: geek mash-up edition I don't know if this was video-worthy...but the dude is kinda funny. Who knew that the theme songs to Star Trek and The Simpsons would fit together so well?
09.01.06 :: warning label edition This article is the type of piece I would write if I was a newspaper journalist. I think all the warning labels out there are just ridiculous, and they allow stupid people to continue to proliferate the planet. I mean, really. If you can't figure out on your own that ovenware is going to be hot when it COMES OUT OF THE OVEN, I don't think a warning label is what you need. A padded room, plastic utensils, and finger paint...that's what I would prescribe.
09.01.06 :: screamer edition Scream no more, art loving snoggees: Edvard Munch's most internationally famous painting has been found, a little more than 2 years after it was stolen. Along with "The Scream," authorities also recoved Munch's other stolen painting, "Madonna." It was discovered that the thieves were really nothing more than pop culture junkies who thought the paintings were of their favorite movie and musician.
Okay, so maybe I made up that last part...
08.31.06 :: playbook edition If I was a high-rolling DNC playa, I think I might jump all down the throats of MonkeyBone and his gargoyles over this latest attempt to swing the country's support away from rationale. I'd be all over statements like MonkeyBone accusing Democrats of being defeatists who are trying to appease the terrorists. I'd point out that MonkeyBone's bullheaded approach is what is ensuring the overabundance of terrorists in the first place.
To his and Big Times's accusations (which, I would just like to point out, the White House could NOT support with any names of Democratic representatives) that Democrats want to cut funding to the troops over in Iraq, I'd have to point out how our troops have had to dig through trash for scrap metal so they fudge up fake armor for their vehicles. I'd point out how families have had to purchase body armor for their loved ones overseas because THIS administration has failed to provide them with adequate funding for armor. Nevertheless, Big Time has enough money to buy fancy housing on the Chesapeake Bay, and MonkeyBone still has his family legacy to cushion his pampered ass.
To Mr. Rumsfeld comparing Democrats to passive supporters of Nazi Germany's horrors...if any administration has been more like Nazi Germany, it is this one, which has crammed its nationalism-bloodied fist firmly down the throats of Middle Amurhaka with ramming speed. First we start with the jingo chants, the flag waving, the frothy frenzy of songs about sinking our boots up the enemy's ass. Soon, we're all right with doing whatever we have to do...you know, to protect our top-of-the-world country. Things like torturing prisoners, raping teenagers and killing their families, killing innocent civilians out of frustration...all in the name of loyalty to our homeland. Über alles, indeed.
Yeah, guess it's a good thing I'm not a DNC playa, because I really wouldn't hold back much against this regime. Not like the current Democrats are doing so very well. Guess I've never enjoyed playing defense. I kinda like to switch to the offensive every now and then. Good thing our current Democrats really don't mind never advancing beyond their defensive position, never gaining ground. Yeah. Definitely.
08.29.06 :: memento mori vita edition Hell is not something we must wait to see. It ravages earth in different ways at different times. One year ago today, it appeared in New Orleans. There is still much to do. There are still many who have yet to return home. There are many more who have no home to which to return.
There is much yet to be done. Shuffle off your jaded ennui for a moment. Donate. Please.
08.28.06 :: separated edition Holy "Keep This Loony Cow Outta Office," Batman. Katherine Harris already sucks. Thanks in part to her stupidity, we ended up with a simian in charge of this country in 2000. Now she's condemning separation of church and state. So apparently she would have rigged the election to prevent Thomas Jefferson from being president, too.
I'm so effing glad I don't live in Florida...
08.28.06 :: museum hopping edition Took a jaunt through some of the Smithsonian this weekend. The Museum of American History is closing for 2 years after Labor Day for a redesign in which it will basically become the Flag Worship Center of North Amuhraka. Whatever. They might as well close it now since they've already removed most of the exhibits. However, the Muppets were still there, which was the major reason I wanted to go in the first place. I loves me Swedish chef. And Rowlf. And Mr. Teeth. Hell, they all kick ass. I loves me Muppets. Plus I saw that my television is now in the Smithsonian...wow. Actually, it was just being used to play a program on Julia Child. Still weird to see my TV in the history museum.
The Native American Museum is super awesome. I have had interactions with tribal programs throughout the United States, so it was awesome to get to learn more about the tribes that I have encountered. Plus, the cafeteria kicked ass, as I was told many times by A2.
Finally, a tour of the Smithsonian wouldn't be complete without a stop at the Air and Space Museum for dessert. Nothing says yum quite like a freeze-dried slice of Neopolitan ice cream. Mmm.
08.28.06 :: icy snackin' edition
Reminisced a little this weekend. Does anyone out there remember the Snoopy Sno-Cone machine? Best. Toy. Ever. Of course, they could never sell it today. Kids are so stupid now, they'd probably try to shave off their tongues with the thing. Hell, I know some adults who are too stupid to operate this toy. But what a toy it was.
That's my reminiscent moment for the day.
08.24.06 :: planetary pull edition Poor Pluto. He never got any respect from those damn chipmunks, Chip and Dale. And now he can't even get any from the astronomical world. His is now no longer a planet. It's a dwarf planet. Hmm. Maybe it should be renamed Dopey.
Science is fun when it's been Disney-fied.
08.24.06 :: biblical edition So Jerry Falwell has decided yet again to cross that ever-fading line between church and state and impose his religious beliefs upon scientific research. The Grand High Pooba of Fundamentalism stated that he "sympathized with those whose conditions could possibly be helped by stem cell research." Wow. His sympathy. That'll come in handy to all those people with Parkinson's who soon won't be able to give him the one-fingered salute that he so deserves.
Falwell went on to declare that any scientific research must pass the following three questions before being worthy of pursuit: "Is it ethically correct? Is it biblically correct? Is it morally correct?"
Biblically correct? These numb-nuts are blocking scientific research because of THEIR translation of an unproven religious text followed only by one religion? Is that morally correct?
08.22.06 :: shut up and sing edition Mmm. Delightful. There's a Dixie Chicks documentary in the pipeline. It'll hit the big screen right around election time. Perfect timing. It should be mandatory viewing for everyone preparing to vote, ESPECIALLY those people still intent on voting for Republicans. That way they can see just how the Republicans enforce the freedoms over which they claim supreme sovereignty as the trio are the targets of "death threats, political attacks and radio boycotts"...all because Natalie Maines stated, "Just so you know, we're ashamed the president of the United States is from Texas."
Just so you all know (as if this is a secret), Loba is ashamed that the president of the United States is from the same species...although that's a debatable statement.
I know I have been discussing this whole thing for a very long time. After all, my very first contemplation back in 2003 was on the Dixie Chicks debacle (funny how back then I said I'd let it rest). I'm just so delighted that the Chicks didn't fold under pressure and retract their comments or their stance. And I'm disgusted at how fellow country musicians either turned against them...or just turned away in a spineless gesture. You can't claim to be the musical defenders of America's freedoms yet abandon one of your own when they have done what you claim to defend. I have to say, this incident really tainted my like of country music as a genre...and particular musicians are now on my own personal boycott list (FUTK).
So of course I want to see this documentary. What I'd really like is to attend a screening in which the Republican politicians and the country musicians who led the boycott and public smear campaign against the Dixie Chicks validate the myriad death threats that the trio received from Red Staters just doing what they thought was right in the eyes of their lord and savior, Herr MonkeyBone.
08.22.06 :: devalued edition I don't really want to talk much about the JonBenet Ramsey case. I feel like all the attention this case continues to garner, the less serious we as a society seem to take it. The repercussions are huge in how we treat young children...how we treat girls...how we are now a society of "guilty until proven innocent"...never mind the implications of how this sort of paparazzi-vigilante justice is designed to destroy those of lesser means. After all, how many working class families would have been able to repel the witch hunt the Ramseys fought against for years?
I have to say, though, that the more I hear about John Mark Karr, the more I wish he had never come forward. I just get the distinct impression that there's something rotten in Denmark...and it taints an already horrific case. What's worse is that it also gives the Ramsey case a circus freak feel that greatly detracts from the dark heart of the deed.
08.21.06 :: disaster edition Today during a meaningless press conference, MonkeyBone continued to state that we won't be pulling out of Iraq "so long as I'm the president. That would be a huge mistake." Hmm. Not as big a mistake as him being president in the first place. But I digress.
So basically he's going to leave us in the mire of his making, and let someone else clean up his mess. Sounds like how he's lived his entire life...only instead of Daddy Bush bailing him out, it will be the next president.
This is perhaps the most poignant moment I have ever seen from one of his bullshit sessions with the press. He's nucking futs, and this clip is tangible evidence. I love how he states that he and his administration have never suggested that Saddam Hussein had anything to do with the WTC attack. Right. Then how come there are still so many of your slack-jawed red-state minions who believe that Saddam was the mastermind behind September 11?
NUCKING FUTS.
08.18.06 :: me edition What an intriguing ode to narcissism. It begs for multiple viewings, just so you can take in all the different aspects that change throughout the length of the video. Nice music, too.
And since I brought up the topic of narcissism, here's a little treat starring that delightful King of Narcissists, William Shatner. I think this is from an MTV Movie Awards (what a ridiculous concept...a music television station giving out movie awards), but it's just a damn funny spoof.
08.17.06 :: 10 edition So much can happen in 10 years. Burke Ramsey is now 19 years old. His mother, Patsy, is dead. His father, John, lives in Atlanta, far from Colorado. Gone are the days when he and his parents were prime suspects. He now knows that John Karr has admitted to killing his sister. Who knows what else will transpire from this point. But finally the sentence has a period in sight.
08.16.06 :: team spirit edition Hmm. Apparently, Amazon.com sells mascot costumes, including one for a wolf mascot. I don't really know what to do with this knowledge (and I really don't feel like discussing how I discovered this information), but I felt that it should be shared.
08.16.06 :: baby fish mouth edition Days never begin on a happy note when you hear that someone who has made you laugh has passed away. Bruno Kirby was a funny guy. I know he did a lot of not so funny movies, but I'll always remember him as Billy Crystal's friend in both City Slickers and When Harry Met Sally. And if you've seen the latter, then you get the title of this contemplation.
08.14.06 :: rambling wolf edition Loba racked up some Road Warrior points this weekend. Summertime trips on I-95 are hella bad, fo shizzle. But I'm a wolf who loves to have her paws on a steering wheel, so it's all good. Plus, who wouldn't love a chance to shrug off the craziness of city life for Sonic and simplicity? I loves me some country living...especially the kind that I can leave for my city ways when the weekend is through. Besides, all I had to come back to on Monday morning was my regular work...it's not like I had to throw on my safety orange vest and report for garbage duty. Poor Boy George. Not exactly work befitting an 80s cultural icon. Then again, maybe this will teach him to stop snorting all of Colombia up his nostrils. Props to him, though, for reporting in capris. Never let something like plebian community service deter you from being a fashionista, Georgie.
Speaking of 80s fashion...I keep perusing retro T-shirt sites, looking for that perfect kitschy T-shirt for my collection. I have to say, I totally dig the kitsch factor of a Piggly Wiggly shirt. But I wouldn't be able to wear it down South without feeling like a human billboard (it'd be like wearing a Giant T-shirt in the D.C. area). I absolutely adore this ICEE T-shirt. But the political commentary of a Hammer and Sickle shirt is too great to ignore. Although, for full-throttle political hammering, I would choose this delightful shirt, which says it perfectly: Republicans for Voldemort.
Sigh. Not really major things to be thinking about in this frustratingly violent time...but sometimes you have to focus on the flotsam to maintain your sanity.
08.11.06 :: campaign fodder edition Yes, I am politically jaded enough that when I heard about the foiled terrorist plot yesterday, a part of me thought that it was just too perfectly timed with the upcoming American elections...after all, am I the only one to notice that something major seems to occur every time an election is coming up on us? It used to be an "unspecified threat" that the Republicans would wave in the faces of their slack-jawed constituents. Now, though, it has a description, and another country assisting in its thwarting.
Yes, I believe that this was a serious threat. I also believe that the Republicans are not going to miss one single chance of using this latest threat to secure their crumbling regime. That includes ersatz Republican Joe Lieberman. He is quoted as making a statement yesterday that sounds like it could have been written by Karl Rove:
"...[the antiwar views of primary winner Ned Lamont would be]taken as a tremendous victory by the same people who wanted to blow up these planes in this plot hatched in England."
Wow, Joe...you big flaming jingo dingo. If you had called them "evildoers," your conversion would have been complete. And I guess you don't want to point out that our continued presence in Iraq (a presence that becomes worse and worse as soldiers take out their frustrations on innocent civillians) is a primary reason that groups like al-Qaeda are never going to run out of volunteers. Who wouldn't be willing to blow themselves up for a chance to kill some infidels and earn their 40 virgins?
Yes, the world is more dangerous right now than it has been in years. Yes, there are people who are trying to bring to our shores more destruction and death. What needs to be emphasized though...what needs to be shouted above the din of flag-waving Republican frenzy is the truth that we are making things worse by continuing to wage a war that should never have been started in the first place. Our job was to find bin Laden. We continue to fail that job...and in that failing, we are ensuring that al-Qaeda will never have the number slump that our own armed forces are having in finding more flesh to send overseas to become shrapnel fodder.
08.10.06 :: threat level edition More terrorists have been caught trying to blow up more planes.
What part of any of this don't we understand? There is no dearth of Muslim jihadists willing to die to carry out the tenets of their religion. They don't want our democracy. They don't want our salvation. They want us dead. And the longer we're in their countries, raping their children and torturing their civillians, the more fuel they have to keep bringing more to their cause.
08.09.06 :: my way edition True Repubican action here, folks: If you do something that breaks the law, just change the law so that you and your gargoyles will be in the clear:
The draft U.S. amendments to the War Crimes Act would narrow the scope of potential criminal prosecutions to 10 specific categories of illegal acts against detainees during a war, including torture, murder, rape and hostage-taking.
Left off the list would be what the Geneva Conventions refer to as "outrages upon [the] personal dignity" of a prisoner and deliberately humiliating acts -- such as the forced nakedness, use of dog leashes and wearing of women's underwear seen at the U.S.-run Abu Ghraib prison in Iraq -- that fall short of torture.
I really, really hope the Democrats take back Congress, because this regime is in serious need of an opposing team smackdown.
08.09.06 :: well-earned reputation edition Everyone knows that it's not AOL. It's AO-HELL. By now we've all heard about the dude who couldn't cancel his account. I have to say, if this had been me, I would have taught the AO-HELL customer service representative some new word combinations that they don't teach in high school English class.
Then there's this lovely article in which AO-HELL won't let a daughter cancel her father's account after his death. Yes, that's right, folks: AO-HELL won't consider death as a reasonable excuse to no longer want their service.
Thank the deities that AO-HELL isn't responsible for jury duty. Think of all the rotting corpses being wheeled in to that jury waiting room...
08.09.06 :: scorpions edition In honor of that great tradition of politicians choosing rock songs to sum up their campaigning objectives, I dedicate the Scorpions song "Winds of Change" to Joe Lieberman and Cynthia McKinney (guess you won't have to worry about those racist Capitol police officers anymore, huh?).
08.08.06 :: zevo edition Anyone out there remember the Barry Levinson film Toys? Remember how General Zevo wanted to train kids for war through his new brand of video games and violent toys?
Remember how the Army is considering building a military-based amusement park in Virginia? Because war is fun. Just ask all the soldiers missing body parts. Ask the families who will, for the rest of their lives, have nothing more than the memories their child left before being blown apart by shrapnel. Oh yeah. War is fun. That must be what MonkeyBone thinks. After all, the Vietnam War was fun for him. How could it not be fun when all you had to worry about was who was going to pay for the next beer run while poor men's sons died in a land you couldn't point out on a globe if your pathetic life depended on it?
Local government officials are worried what a military theme park's impact will be on the traffic in the area. Shouldn't they be more worried about the park's impact on young people?
08.08.06 :: spike edition So I guess BP was so busy gouging customers at the pump and making massive profits, just like every other friggin' oil company, that they just didn't have the time to do routine maintenance on their Alaska pipeline. That's nice of them. So now there will be even less oil entering the market...which means even higher prices at the pump.
Here's what I wonder: How is it my fault that they can't keep their pipeline in proper working order? But of course we all know whose fault this really is: the Democrats. Of course! Because if it weren't for all those bleeding hearts trying to preserve ANWR, we'd have back-up! We don't need wildlife, goddammit! We need more gas! There's a Hummer 3 now, and it needs fuel!
08.07.06 :: sun-squealing edition Even animals fancy some sunning and siesta time in the dog...er piggy days of summer. So agrees Percy, the miniature piggy chilling in his own lounge chair.
08.07.06 :: denial of empowerment edition In yet another show of typical Repubican compassion for "everybody else" (read: the poor people who aren't blessed enough to be in the richest 2 percent), MonkeyBone and his gargoyles are trying to rewrite welfare laws so that people on welfare won't be able to qualify for assistance to go to college to earn a degree. This was a trend begun when President Clinton passed the Personal Responsibility and Work Opportunity Reconciliation Act of 1996. Since 1996, no one can deny the positive impact of PRWORA:
In August 1996, when Congress passed the Welfare Reform Act, neither supporters nor critics predicted its dramatic effects: The number of families on Temporary Assistance for Needy Families (TANF), as welfare became known, has plummeted by 60 percent.
My Secret Squirrel work has given me some insight in PRWORA, and I have seen the positive results of Clinton's reform. Now, the little Presidency Stealer wants to undo another successful Democratic program (guess he's still pouting over Social Security surviving his assault). Now those on welfare who are trying to avail themselves to help and trying to truly better themselves will have to forego schooling because they will instead have to take on full-time work in a minimum wage job, which is pretty much the only job market available to those with only a high school diploma or GED.
Just another way the GOP is deepening the chasm between the rich and the poor. After all, we mustn't educate the proles. Can't have them thinking for themselves now, can we? And is it just me, or does this not reek of being another way in which the "small government" Repubicans are placing more federal government intervention on the state level?
Perhaps I should start calling them Repulsivans. That seems more appropriate.
08.07.06 :: pig edition A U.S. Capitol police officer has been charged with having sex with a 15-year-old prostitute. He has also been charged with videotaping some of their sexual encounters. Some cops take the epithet "pig" to horribly low depths.
08.07.06 :: absurdity of evil edition Guess I spoke too soon when I said that Madonna's latest religious mock was kind of tired and predictable. I should have remembered that the hyper-religious are humorless people...because yet again, the Catholic church is talking about excommunicating Madge. But would that really matter to her High Holy Kabbalistic Self? Besides, they accuse her of doing these things for the publicity she will stir...but they in turn become her greatest PR machine by threatening excommunication.
08.05.06 :: accidents and accusations editions Last night, D.C. stood for one thing: Dixie Chicks. The girls and their entourage rolled into town, and rocked the Verizon Center for almost 2 hours. Their intro was sublime (it's the first time since Clinton was in office that I haven't cringed at the sound of "Hail to the Chief"). Natalie was subdued in her stage banter, but their latest CD pretty much speaks enough for them all.
Their playlist was perfect, pulling a healthy sampling from all their CDs. And when they shifted from "Hail to the Chief" right into "Lubbock or Leave It," you had no doubt that these girls weren't gun-shy at all. It was a well-oiled machine leading us all to one great crescendo after another...and then the moment came. Emily and Martie took center stage with a few of the guitarists from the band, tearing up their "Li'l Jack Slade" before leading the audience into an uproarious version of their hymn to haters, "Not Ready to Make Nice." You could feel the strength of that song being pulled from your very marrow as Natalie sang it. Too awesome.
Beyond the politics, though, the Chicks are just damn good at what they do. Emily is to a banjo like Hendrix lighting guitars; Martie could beat the Devil and Johnny both down in Georgia any time on her fiddle; and Natalie's vocals go from Ginsu to lamb's ear with a single shift.
They rock. Plain and simple.
08.02.06 :: mythical evening edition Slowly the Wolf returns to her lair. In little spurts. I'm in 24/7 mode on the job still, so my limited free time is spent giving myself some relaxation rather than stressing over news. I'm sure my family would be pleased to know this, as many think I'm WAY too political. I'm a bleeding-heart, tree-hugging Democrat. Sue me.
I've reverted slightly to my sci-fi alter-ego and last night dove into a TNG novel, Death in Winter. Bittersweet time with old friends; the book takes place after the last (and IMHO, terrible) TNG movie, Nemesis. So basically, Data is space debris, Riker and Troi are off on their own ship, and the secret surprise that apparently appeared only in the novelization of the movie is that Dr. Crusher left the ship as well to return to Starfleet Medical. Sigh. She's my favorite character. Data is my second favorite. So it should be no surprise that my favorite scene from any episode was the scene in "Data's Day" in which Dr. Crusher teaches Data how to dance. Sigh again.
Okay, wow. This turned into a geek fest, didn't it? And I haven't even talked about my action figure collection, T-shirts, replicas, mugs, or trading cards...hmm, maybe I shouldn't have gone there just yet. We hardly know each other.
I'm not the only one who has geek streaks. Last night, for example, 6,000 of MY PEOPLE were at Radio City Music Hall to listen to what could be considered the trifecta of modern literature gods: Stephen King, John Irving, and J.K. Rowling. Dear deities...that's comparable to an evening with Edgar Allan Poe, Nathaniel Hawthorne, and Virginia Woolf (although with that group, you'd have to keep an eye on the booze...and make sure Virginia didn't get too close to any bodies of water. Hmm, now I've started cracking English major jokes...this is just getting sillier and sillier). Anyway, that sounds like an absolutely awesome evening. And this was what sparked my Trek descent...so everything really is tangentially linked in my world, one way or another. Freaky, isn't it?
Now I have to go back to work. Another full day. And tonight I might just watch "Data's Day."
08.01.06 :: rotation edition If it weren't for the fact that the earth is continuing to turn, I sometimes think I wouldn't be able to tell that the days are still passing right now. World events are more violent and depressing than ever. Hell, with D.C. in "crime emergency" status right now, even local events are depressing. Even Hollywood is lacking in its typically benign stupidity, thank you Mr. Gibson.
But you can always depend on Madonna. Poor Madge. Remember when she used to be controversial? Remember when you just knew that she was going to do something that would cause a flurry of gasps and threats of excommunication? Now her attempts to enrage just seem...silly. I don't want to say I pity her, because she still rocks. Her latest album still inspires me to drive fast to the syncopated rhythm. But hanging from a disco cross? Really. It just feels kinda...boring. I mean, come on! This is the woman who once jiggled in a slip while crosses burned and she made out with black saints! A disco cross? It's like Marilyn Manson meets Liberace.
How about hanging from a disco Magden David? Then you can show Mel how to insult the Jewish religion with pizzazz.
07.28.06 :: frazzled friday edition I feel terrible about my absence from the lair. The problem is, I've exchanged brains with a Red State voter, so I'm really not able to perform any major contemplations right now. I just do what my pastor tells me to do politically. And I pray a lot that Jesus will smite the infidels...you know, Democrats and all other evil-doers who don't believe in Pat Robertson.
Yeah, just kidding, snoggees. I just thought I would offer something other than the truth: I'm slammed with work. Like screen door in a hurricane slammed. If my work level was poo, my eyes would be brown.
Was that too vivid? Sorry. Just know that the Wolf is still prowling. I hope things will be better next week. So have a fantabulous weekend, think of Loba slaving away in her Web workshop, and I shall return soon...
07.26.06 :: apb edition Miss me? I'm still here. Went downtown for a week to work an event for our clients. Long hours. Draining. I feel like I've hiked cross-country. Glad to be back in the den. Just waiting to curl up and sleep. No thinking allowed.
I hope to be back in the news groove soon. I also hope to be typing in full sentences soon as well. But the Wolf has returned. Rejoice at will.
07.20.06 :: "cruelty, hypocrisy, and ignorance" edition Every person in this country should remember the royal fuck job that George W. Bush just perpetrated by vetoing the stem cell research bill that passed with bipartisan consent through both houses of Congress.
Remember for those who no longer can. Alzheimer's is so fucking cruel...but Bush is even worse.
07.14.06 :: sue-y edition Fridays are typically happy days anyway. You know, end of the work week and all that shiznit. But when you read that the Vice Gargoyle of Jesusland is being sued...well, it just makes the day all the better.
I'm sure that Big Time will cry fowl...I mean foul (sorry, Freudian slip there) and weasel his way out of taking responsibility. I'm sure the Supreme GOP Puppet Court will rule totally in his favor on whatever legalese he spews to get deferment...and we already know that Big Time is very good at deferring out of things he doesn't want to deal with (five Vietnam deferments! What a patriot). But I just love hearing that someone is filing a lawsuit against him.
I'd love it even more if the American people all of a sudden woke up from their complacency and filed a class action lawsuit against the MonkeyBone administration for the holistic fuck job that they have perpetrated against this country. The reward if we won? Immediate removal of the current regime and a Constitutional amendment banning any member of the Bush family (either by blood or by marriage) from ever running for any political office again.
Dang, that would be flippin' sweet.
07.13.06 :: blow your top edition Late day posting. Busy, busy, busy. But this...this is just too weird and gross not to post. Talk about literally blowing your top. I love the BBC.
07.12.06 :: count edition Something horrible just occurred to me as I was looking over some previous contemplations. In my 06.20.06 contemplation, forgotten edition, I stated that 2,710 American soldiers have died in the war. Yesterday, I stated that 2,840 soldiers have died. I just double-checked my number for yesterday...the Post now lists the death toll at 2,846. Since June 20, 136 soldiers have been killed. That's an average of six soldiers a day plus change. The six additions since yesterday sort of firm up that estimate.
07.11.06 :: british break edition So I didn't say anything when MonkeyBone recently turned 60 because I really didn't give a runny doo splotch. But I have to give props to this comic, which shows our chimp-in-chief complete with liver spots on his hands and the infamous "mystery bulge" beneath his coat. And, if you're so inclined, this is a delightful companion piece to the comic. If you don't feel like reading it though, here's probably the best section from the article:
He is hardly an archetypal baby boomer. He wasn't at Woodstock - he was too busy helping his father campaign for the Senate in Texas - and he certainly didn't march against the Vietnam war, although exactly what he was doing at the time remains a matter of some intrigue.
While others dreamed of world peace he dreamed of running a successful oil business. (Both dreams failed miserably.) Judging from his own admissions, he was too drunk too often to have paid much attention to the cultural earthquake his generation was triggering.
07.11.06 :: interpretation edition Karl Rove has stated that MonkeyBone will veto his first bill, should it be passed by the Senate (as it has already passed the House). What bill would this be? That would be H.R.810, a Republican-sponsored, bipartisan-supported bill that would allow more funding for embryonic stem cell research. The bill is precisely worded in an attempt to avoid offending the Bible-thumpers, as is obvious in the following stipulations from the bill stating that researchers can only use embryos that:
- Have been donated from in vitro fertilization clinics.
- Were created for the purposes of fertility treatment.
- Were in excess of the needs of the individuals seeking such treatment and would never be implanted in a woman and would otherwise be discarded (as determined in consultation with the individuals seeking fertility treatment).
- Were donated by such individuals with written informed consent and without any financial or other inducements.
However, none of this is enough for MonkeyBone. Apparently, he prefers that these unused embryos just sit in a deep freeze somewhere rather than be used in scientific research that could potentially end diseases such as multiple sclerosis, Alzheimer's, cystic fibrosis, and so forth. He claims it is because he wishes to preserve life.
I believe he wishes to preserve support from his rabidly conservative fundamentalist base. People, like the Southern Baptists, who have translated a Guardian article reporting on research advances in England as "selective murder."
Actually, what the scientists in England have done is discovered a way to make screening for birth defects more precise, enabling doctors to test for 6,000 diseases as opposed to just the current test limit of 200 diseases. This would spare parents from watching their children die from diseases such as Duchenne's muscular dystrophy, which typically limits life expectancy to 17. The Southern Baptists who see this research as murder quote a British pro-lifer, who states, "Once a human being has been created, there is nothing we can do..."
Hmm. Breast cancer is genetic. Heart disease is genetic. Diabetes is genetic. Certain mental illnesses are genetic. Guess we shouldn't be doing any research on these diseases since, "once a human being has been created, there is nothing we can do." So why are we doing any research? Although, of course when I say "we," I really mean every other country capable of logic and compassion, which automatically rules us completely out of the ball game. As long as we are ruled by the God-Ordained Plutocracy, we're going to fall further and further behind in the scientific arena.
H.R.810 has incredible ramifications for every family stricken by the suffering and loss of a loved one due to a disease that could potentially be cured by further stem cell research. Yet MonkeyBone will veto it because, in Karl Rove's words, "We were all an embryo at one point, and we ought to as a society be very careful about being callous about the wanton destruction of embryos, of life."
I think 2,840 soldiers would love to be alive to hear you say that, Mr. Rove.
07.11.06 :: officious seeing-eye bitch edition It's sadly another one of those über-busy times for the Loba. So for the next few weeks, I'm going to be in and out of the lair. I'll try to leave some worthwhile words in my wake, I promise.
Oh, and to understand the name of this edition, I recommend viewing the most premium movie, Everything is Illuminated. It's weird in a grand way, like a Charlie Kaufman film, but with truth rooting it in reality.
07.06.06 :: toxinol edition So Tylenol will break your liver. Again, this is why I would rather suffer through the pain of a headache. My head will stop hurting after a while. My liver won't miraculously rejuvenate if I break it, though.
Want to learn more about medications that will break other vital organs? Read some of the things on this site and you might never take another pill again.
Can't sleep. Drug companies will eat me.
07.06.06 :: religious intolerance edition I love how fundamentalists in this country whine about religious persecution because they still don't have a solid lock on the alliterative trifecta of "guns, god, and government" (thank you, MM).
However, when it comes to honoring a fallen soldier who practiced a religion not approved by John Q. Bible-Thumper, they have no problem discriminating. So is the case with Sergeant Patrick D. Stewart, a Nevada National Guardsman who was killed when his helicopter was shot down in Afghanistan last September. Sgt. Stewart was a Wiccan. The U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs refuses to place a memorial marker for him with the Wiccan pentagram, even though the department has approved 38 other religious symbols for their markers. However, because the double-digit IQs that typically fill the religious "rank and vile" in this country still think that Wiccans bathe in the blood of trees and dance with the devil at midnight, they refuse to honor him by letting his memorial bear the mark of his religion.
The article even quotes a retired Army chaplain, who states, "It's such a clear First Amendment issue, I can't even conceive of why they are not granting it, except for political reasons." Of course it's for political reasons...reasons that date back all the way to 1692 when 20 innocent souls were murdered by the same corrupt degree of fundamentalism that still runs rampant today.
If Veterans Affairs approves the Wiccan pentagram, they acknowledge Wicca to be a legitimate religion (never mind that federal courts, prisons, the IRS, and the military already acknowledge it)...which raises it from the mire of fundamentally induced hysteria that justified the murders in 1692 and continue to justify the discrimination today: hysteria that Wicca is evil...that Wiccans murder little children and cause honest men to cheat. They are blood-drinkers, they are succubae, they are Satanists.
Not.
Wicca is one of the most beautiful religions I have ever studied. It is inclusive, nonjudgmental, natural, and respectful of others. Wiccans don't proselytize. They don't condemn. They accept you as you. They are everything beautiful that is missing from the fire-and-brimstone beliefs of modern day Amurhakin Christianity. No wonder it's grown from 8,000 members in 1990 to 134,000 in 2001.
It's a shame that this regime doesn't discriminate in who they condemn to die in their war, but they find no problem in discriminating in how they pay tribute to the ones they sentenced to death.
Perhaps from now on they should only send straight Christians to Iraq. They could then call it Operation: Coulter (or perhaps some of you missed this classic Coulterian quote: "We should invade their countries, kill their leaders, and convert them to Christianity"...oh but how quickly she would streak her granny panties if Bin Laden ever stated the same about turning this country into a Mecca for Islam). And that way they wouldn't have to worry about what goes on the dead soldier's memorial.
Honestly, I leave the den door unlocked and all sorts of craziness takes place. Yes, Loba ventured away from the lair for a little respite. I won't say where...but perhaps it did involve a Swiffer. Or maybe not. I'm not telling.
I hope that all my American snoggees enjoyed their Independence Day festivities. Things went pretty well here in the Dirty City...at least they went fine after the unfortunate incident early in the morning. Apparently, Garfield went into a jealous rage after seeing Raggedy Ann hanging with the American Eagle before the parade. A Post photographer caught his attack on film. You can see that he's already taken out Raggedy Andy, who was just trying to protect his sister, and this is right before his second swing at the Eagle. I understand that later this morning, Congress will be reopening their investigation of catnip use among professional ball players. Damn that fat arrogant cat.
(Sometimes even I think I'm a little weird...)
07.02.06 :: republicans for voldemort and other sundries Dear snoggees: Loba is on a short break, partaking of the jingoistic tradition of celebrating our motherland in hot weather with fabulous dead meat bbq-ed to a crisp perfection. She's in one of the following places: helping to clean up the National Archives and IRS buildings with a Swiffer; protesting the drilling of polar bears for oil by camping out in front of Alaska Sens. Ted Stevens and Lisa Murkowski's district offices; or heading to Kiwi-land to discover whether Lucy Lawless plans to do any prequels to "Xena"--and if not, how she can be persuaded to.
So just for today, you have me, a person who tunes on "C-span" in the mornings to find out the weather for the day, and who loves Congress, despite it being described as "Hollywood for ugly people." Between seeing a "Republicans for Voldemort" bumper sticker on the highway yesterday and being asked by a DNC volunteer if I would like to support the party, it reinforced my love for living in a blue state. I remember hearing a comedian talk about how all of us blue-staters should buy Priuses and mow through the red states, running people over as we go (since they would never hear the hybrid's quiet engine--oh, and as a bonus, we'd get great mileage in city driving.) I'm on board. :-)
So enjoy your 4th, with charred, yummy slabs of meat, good friends (sometimes even family) and a comfort of relaxation. Loba will be back quite soon to rile you up with her partisan rants about the imbecile known as our "war time" president and her love of all things lupine.
07.01.06 :: sleepy time edition The local cable television provider for the Maryland suburbs and Washington, D.C. is Comcast Cable. They suck. The only other option if you want more than watching Bob Ross paint his "happy trees" on public television is satellite television. That sucks even more. So we're stuck with Comcast. Comcast and their wonderful cadre of helpful customer service technicians.
Yeah. This would be why I don't let customer service guys come into my house unless I'm there, too. Last thing I need is to come home and find some dude splayed out on my couch, napping after another hard day ignoring customers and reaming them out of a hundred bucks for basic digital.
Whatev. I'll stick with my books.
06.30.06 :: breaking the ice edition Help the running dude break through ice walls. No other point. Yet I can't stop playing.
Earlier I was addicted to Curve Ball. Now I have them both open, and I just keep switching.
I love weekends right before holidays.
06.30.06 :: fat man twirling edition Obviously, I'm workin' hard today...which is why it's time to relax to Fat Guy in a Little Coat.
I swear, this is one of my favorite scenes from one of my favorite comedies. Chris Farley was awesome until he went Belushi-stupid.
06.30.06 :: balanced edition I gotta admit it: This chunky dude skateboards way better than I ever have. He even has his own Web site where you can see more photos and videos of him. Yeah, yeah. But I'd like to see him rock a pair of rollerblades like I can. BooYah.
06.29.06 :: war criminal edition Today, the Supreme Court ruled "that President Bush overstepped his authority in ordering military war crimes trials for Guantanamo Bay detainees, saying in a strong rebuke that the trials were illegal under U.S. and international law."
Of course, MonkeyBone's appointee, Alito, sided with him. Roberts couldn't vote, but I'm sure that if he could have, he would have backed MonkeyBone as well.
All I can say is dig bucking feal. Seems like no matter what he does, no one is ever going to do anything to stop him. I'm beginning to be in agreement with the bumper sticker, "Someone give Bush a blowjob so we can impeach him."
06.29.06 :: crock edition What an absolute crock of shit. Not only did the Repubican-entrenched Supreme Court rule pretty much in favor of the Repubican-inspired treachery that Tom DeLay pulled in Texas, but they also declared that states can redistrict more than just around Census time. Wow. So basically, a Repubican-dominated state can decide the redistrict a la DeLay's method in order to rebalance districts in their party's favor. Same thing can and will happen with Democrat-heavy states. It happened here in Maryland, and Connie Morella lost her seat because of it. I liked Connie Morella (yes, I actually do like Republicans; it's Repubicans I hate). I thought that what this state did to her was devious and cruel. I think what the Supreme Court just did was arrogant and stupid. Just like the president and all his gargoyles.
06.28.06 :: nine edition Nine is my favorite number. Nine is the weight of my Smurf-blue Louisville Slugger bat. Nine was my softball jersey number.
Nine years ago today, I became owned by Jodie, the best dog in the world. It's been almost nine months since I lost her to cancer.
I miss you every day, Jodie Girl. I hope wherever you are, they remember that today was our day of celebration.
For those who missed it, here is a tribute to Jodie. Again, sorry about the size; it's a Windows Media file that's almost nine megabytes. If the pop-up version doesn't work, you can access the file this way, too.
06.28.06 :: early polls edition Robert Ehrlich is already trailing behind Democratic contender Martin O'Malley in the early polls for the Maryland gubernatorial race. As far as I'm concerned, that's how it should be and how it should remain. I'd like to have a governor who actually cares about education for all, not just the rich. And a governor more concerned with realistic solutions for his constituents as opposed to fantastical focus on slot machines and throwing tantrums when his fantasy doesn't come through.
I don't know a lot about O'Malley at this point. I do know that he's managed to bring improvement to Baltimore. That says a hell of a lot about his political prowess, and if you knew Baltimore, you'd agree.
Bottom line is Ehrlich was a state-level glitch who won because of the incompetent choices made by the outgoing Democratic governor and the completely insane and politically suicidal choices of the Kennedy who would be Governor. And perhaps she would have been if she hadn't been so goddamned stupid. Here's hoping that O'Malley doesn't have any similar bouts of stupid.
06.27.06 :: countdown edition I saw the greatest bumper sticker this weekend. I must share it with all you. It simply read, "01.20.09. Bush's Last Day."
I encourage everyone who is excited about ridding this country of the current Repubican scourge to purchase one for their car.
06.27.06 :: beach bum edition The White Wolf is now a little tanner...well, maybe the more appropriate description would be a little redder with a few more freckles. Yes, this weekend was a trip to Rehoboth Beach, where the meteorological gods were definitely smiling down on us. As storms raged all through D.C., Maryland, Virginia, Delaware, and Pennsylvania, we enjoyed near-perfect weather. A little rain on Saturday. A smidgen of rain Sunday morning. Other than that, BT-bright blue skies that would have had Tori singing all weekend long.
Rain clouds are hanging low outside my office window now. But I'm still mentally lying on the beach, reading a book and listening to the waves, dreaming about seafood dinners and Killians on tap.
Mellow beach dreams for all...
06.23.06 :: murder by number edition Friday morning provocation presentation: Murder by Numbers. I remember debating in high school that Bill Clinton would make a better president than George H.W. Bush. During this debate, I remember pointing out during the Persian Gulf war that Saddam Hussein attacked our soldiers with weapons he received from our very government--weapons provided by then Vice President George H. W. Bush. Glad to see that someone else remembers this.
Excellent point, too, about how the lying, hypocritical little shit in office doesn't want the American people to see photos of our soldiers coming home in coffins because it's too disturbing...but he had no problem using images from September 11, 2001, for one of his 2004 campaign ads.
06.23.06 :: homegrown edition Seven arrested in a plot to blow up Chicago's Sears Tower. Five are U.S. residents.
06.22.06 :: pretty stupid edition So Hilary Duff recently decided to call Waldorf, Maryland, "pretty ghetto." Her exact statement, as quoted in the Post's Reliable Source is about her current baloney pony, Joel Madden of Good Charlotte fame:
"He doesn't socialize. He's very real, like, he's from a pretty ghetto place in Maryland. . . . I like that."
Okay, so here's some advice, Hil: If you've never stepped foot in a place, you really shouldn't be talking smack about it. Besides, pretty ghetto is what the P.G. in P.G. County stands for.
Sounds to me like Mr. Madden has been telling some bullshiggidy about Waldorf. It's WALDORF. Not Suitland. Not Palmer Park. You don't earn street cred by growing up in Waldorf. It's building up now, but when Good Charlotte was playing at the local teen coffee house, it was still predominantly rural...and pretty boring. I don't know about now (then again, neither does Good Charlotte, since I'm sure they've placed their Waldorf Days far behind them), but back in the day, entertainment involved cruising parking lots, driving down back roads, and splitting a carton of Purple Passion while listening to the Fugees.
Pretty ghetto. Come on over here. I'll show you pretty ghetto, biznitch.
(This information brought to you by the letter "A" and the number "2")
06.21.06 :: startled edition Seems that I may have startled some snoggees with the serious tone of yesterday's entry, especially in light of some of my recent humorous PhotoShop offerings. I guess the images from Peace Takes Courage got me thinking about how we hide the ugliness away and focus on the banal. The Falling Man appeared once in this country, and then was filed away because viewing images like that was deemed inconsiderate and exploitational. And most people don't even realize how many flag-draped coffins come back into this country from the Middle East. It's difficult, I suppose, to understand the gravity when all you hear are numbers. It's much more powerful to see the actual image. But again, the images have been deemed inappropriate and they have been hidden behind the curtain of sports scores and infotainment that pretends to be news.
Know what I find inappropriate? Running this country with a playbook that exemplifies the very worst of the Orwellian dystopia. A man of privilege who was spared the harshness of war during Vietnam because of Daddy George had no right to lead this country into the bloody scourge our soldiers now fight.
That's far more inappropriate than any photo.
06.20.06 :: the forgotten edition
Do you remember this day? Do you remember precisely where you were and what you were doing the moment you heard about the first strike? The second? The third? The crash in Pennsylvania? The collapse of the Towers? How could anyone forget? Do you remember the acid burn of agony you felt (and still feel) at images of people, like the Falling Man, who chose to at least accept the one final thing over which they had control: when and how they would die that day when they realized that death was inevitable?
George W. Bush doesn't remember any of this. All he remembers is that Saddam Hussein once threatened to kill his father. All he remembers is his loyalty to the wealthy who paved his yellow brick road to the White House. A loyalty he repays in defense contracts, Haliburton deals, and blood-for-oil. Afghanistan doesn't have oil. Afghanistan has rocks, caves, and goats. And the mastermind behind September 11. But that's all right. Most Amurhakins have forgotten that guy anyway. It's impossible for the truth to survive if the din of lies is loud enough.
Estimates vary, but it is believed that nearly 3,000 people were killed in the September 11 attacks. After the latest slaying of two G.I.s, 2,710 American soldiers have been killed and more than 18,000 have been wounded since the war began. More than 18,000 soldiers have suffered broken bones, lost limbs, lost eyes, lost hearing, irreversible brain damage, lost motor skills...but we're not supposed to think about them. Just like we're not supposed to see the coffins that are processed through Dover Air Force Base. Sometimes, so many coffins are brought home at one time, that they're packed in like sardines, like in this photo. We're not supposed to see the Falling Man. We're not supposed to remember Osama bin Laden. We're supposed to rejoice that we've caught Saddam and killed Zarqawi. Everything will be all right. The Iraqi insurgency is in its final throes. That's what Dick Cheney has told us. So it must be true.
06.19.06 :: peace takes courage edition And the young woman behind the Web site www.peacetakescourage.com has it in abundance. She is probably...no, scratch that...she is definitely more globally and politically aware than the bumbling crook in office will ever be. Her animations are stark reminders that we in this country are seeing so little of the atrocities being committed in Iraq. Our media outlets and our very government all want us to believe only that we are bringing democracy and killing the "evil doers." We are also killing innocent civilians. We are killing children. We are killing our generation.
The animations on this site are disturbing in their bleak reality. Perhaps that's exactly what we need to see more of. Perhaps seeing what is really happening will cause us to want to end this charade of "bringing democracy to Iraq."
06.19.06 :: power blogging edition This dude has the total summer hook-up: He's the official concert blogger for the Dixie Chicks' current tour. How effing awesome a gig would that be? My favorite is the list of rejected tour names (for the record, the Dixie Chicks' tour is called the Accidents and Accusations tour). I think my favorites from the rejected names are "An Evening of Treason" and "We're Just Here for Your Money."
06.19.06 :: original photo edition
Loba did a little digging this weekend and discovered this official White House photograph of Michael Chertoff, before the image was fixed for public consumption. What a looker he is, ain't he?
06.19.06 :: drug bias edition Twenty years ago, Len Bias killed himself with cocaine used to celebrate his multi-million dollar future as a professional basketball player--a career that might have been sidetracked anyway because of his piss-poor (even for a college basketball god) academic record.
06.16.06 :: boiling edition If it didn't mean that I would have to sell some extra organs to have enough money for groceries, I would switch to shopping at Whole Foods all the time. Why? Because finally there's a grocery store who is willing to acknowledge the absolutely barbaric practice of boiling lobsters and crabs alive. Their response to this was to ban the sale of live lobsters and crabs in all their stores. That's a pretty big deal for a store that is frequented by the monetarily more-than-stable who like to indulge in the more expensive culinary delights (such as lobstah).
I'm bothered by the scientists quoted as stating that lobsters and crabs have brains incapable of registering pain the way mammals do. I can't eat either because I'm allergic, so I have never witnessed this phenomenon, but I have had people tell me that crabs make a noise akin to screaming when they are submerged in boiling water. That sounds like a pain register to me...
Thanks to A2 for the info.
06.15.06 :: shock valueless edition
"I'm all about shock. I don't really have anything important to say, but I like all the attention I get whenever I do speak. And I hate when that attention dwindles...so I know to ramp up the shock value with each appearance. That keeps me in the limelight...and let's face it: there's no such thing as bad publicity. Just ask the widows I accused of using their pain to make money. Kind of like how I'm hoping my comments about them are going to make me a little bit-ch richer."
(My apologies to Marilyn Manson, who actually does say important things every now and again.)
06.15.06 :: sinking edition So apparently New Orleans has been sinking more rapidly than scientists originally thought. Of course, this means that everything built on New Orleans soil is sinking as well. Things like levee walls.
Oy.
06.15.06 :: durka durka edition I can never imagine the trauma and soul-hardening effects of long-term exposure to a situation like war. Obviously, it alters the typical parameters of humanity. Look at Abu Ghraib. Look at Haditha. Look at this video, in which a Marine sings about evading an ambush and instead blowing away his would-be murderers, including a young girl he uses as a shield. This article gives details, including snippets of some of the lyrics.
I don't know which is more frightening: This song and the shared experiences that make those listening cheer, or some of the comments that I have read from people in this country who have viewed the clip. The majority of comments? Positive. Supportive. Mocking of the "Dimmicrats" who would be against this sort of behavior. If it's true that only a Democrat would be offended by this song, then that's a sad representation of what sort of mettle makes a Republican. Because I can only imagine the flag-waving jingo lather these same people would be in right now if this was in reverse and it was an Iraqi singing about murdering a Marine.
06.13.06 :: verbal bitch slap edition I typically don't like Jay Leno, but I just might watch Wednesday's show. My money's on George Carlin.
06.12.06 :: blessings in disguise edition I was in and out of the loop last week, work of course taking precedence to contemplative raging against the machine. So I was a little slow on reading about Tom DeLay's priggish departure from the House.
I'd just like to say thank you to Mr. DeLay for helping the Democrats along even more in their (hopefully) inevitable retaking of the House. I'd especially like to thank him for this disgustingly Orwellian quote: "We lowered taxes to increase freedom." Wow, that's a big, smelly pile of bunk if I ever sniffed one.
It's a shame that he didn't spend more of his political career working on the adoption issues that he claimed were his most important crusade. Funny, but I don't think all that money you took from the Indian tribes to golf in Scotland did a damn thing for adoption issues. And I know your dear friend Jack didn't have child neglect on his mind either with all his bullshiggidy shenanigans.
So good riddance, Mr. DeLay. Here's hoping that there are bars and orange jumpsuits somewhere near in your new "retirement."
06.07.06 :: dvd mailer mogul edition I can't say this enough: I love Netflix. I think it's awesome for two reasons. First, how freakin' cool is it that I can pretty much find whatever movie I want to see and have it delivered to me? Second, I think Blockbuster sucks ass. Their stores are usually staffed by rude, shuffling savants; their inventory is typically limited to the banal barrage of current releases; and they're WAY overpriced.
So anything that puts Blockbuster on the endangered species list is awesome in my book.
06.07.06 ::exercise in futility edition Just a very quick contemplation for the moment. Talks with Iran continue as they perhaps continue on their path to becoming another nuclear worry. The ugly truth of Haditha continues to unravel, bolstering anti-American opinion throughout the Middle East. Our soldiers are shedding innocent blood on purpose now. A potential terrorist attack of horrifying proportions was just thwarted in Canada.
It should come as no surprise to anyone that of the 15 Republican senators up for re-election this year, all but 2 voted yes to this amendment. The two who voted against the amendment are Olympia Snowe from Maine and Lincoln Chafee from Rhode Island.
For the record, of the 18 Democratic senators up for re-election, only 2 of the group voted for the amendment. Not surprisingly, they come from the typically red necks...I mean red states of Nebraska (Ben Nelson) and West Virginia (Robert Byrd).
I propose that we swap out Byrd and Nelson for Snowe and Chafee and call it even.
06.06.06 :: intermittent explosive edition Hey there, all you battered wives! Thank scientists for providing your abusive husbands with the perfect psycho-speak mumbo-jumbo bull-shiggidy reason for beating the living Jesus out of you: Intermittent Explosive Disorder. Yes, that's right. Thanks to medical science, lawyers will now be able to argue that their clients were not able to stop themselves from punching their wives, or stomping on them, or whatever other atrocities they may have committed. No, your honor, they were victims, too.
This is the biggest pile of crap imagineable. It's called not being taught to control your temper. It's called yet another way we don't have to take responsibility for our actions.
Spousal abuse is just one of the things covered by this generic anger disorder. The report mainly uses it as what we can blame for those nasty road rage moments. So I guess that means practically everyone in the D.C. metropolitan area is afflicted. My god, it's a pandemic! I must need to check myself into the mental ward ASAP, because I could make a sailor blush with some of the things I've yelled.
Speaking of the Beast, I just wanted to take a moment to say that I think "Ikea" is Swedish for "Cheap, Devil-Spawned Furniture." Damn Swedes and their stupid hieroglyphic instruction manuals. Well guess what? I figured them out! I win!
06.05.06 :: meddling kids edition Another Toon Time break, courtesy of Slate.com. Today's subject: Scooby Doo. Scooby has always been and will always be my favorite cartoon. There is a comfort in knowing that, while real world events fluctuate and fracture in oftentimes inconceivably upsetting ways, there is a level of continuity that will never be shaken in the Scooby universe. Shaggy and Scooby are always going to eat lots and be scared lots. Daphne is always going to be danger-prone and kidnappable. Velma is always going to be nerdy and brilliant, and Fred is always going to rock the ascot like no one else.
This sort of continuity is an animated balm to anyone, regardless of age.
06.05.06 :: smoke and queers edition Typical Repubican election year strategy time: Focus the country's attention on the most partisan, divisive hot-button topic on the agenda. Scare Middle Amurhka into believing that if they don't re-elect their Repubican Representative or Senator, then the queers will take over the country.
What I wonder is this: Are Republican voters and the Christian Coalition really so stupid that they don't realize this only becomes an on-radar issue when it's election time? Will they be so easily manipulated that they'll believe this is more important that the pit of bloody quicksand in which our troops are mired?
06.01.06 :: strong malcontents edition There are certain preconceived notions that accompany musical genres. Heavy metal is loud and raucous--Ozzy Osbourne biting the head off a dove. Alternative is shuffling, mumbling slackers in flannel. Old school rap was fun; modern rap is misogynistic and violent. Country music is conservative and entrenched in the subjective Southern concepts of values and morality. Musicians in their respective genres are expected to conform to the genre's mold. They are reprimanded if they break free from that mold.
But there is a strength in that break that makes them iconoclastic...and thus iconic to those who long to remain similarly independent in their thoughts and actions. I guess that's why, after listening to their newest CD, I think the Dixie Chicks totally kick ass even more than before. You just don't go outside the established barricade of country music (ask macho man Toby Keith; for all his jingoistic boot stomping, he's nothing more than a neutered little lap dog licking the feet of conservative Red Amuhrka). When you do step beyond the barbed wire fence around the country camp, you receive death threats (because all good fundamentalists know that you kill those who don't live the way you think they should...hmm, ever notice that word has "mental" right in the middle?).
I used to love country music. I used to love the simpler messages of family and faith. I am growing ever more disenchanted. I detest people who toe the line without questioning why they're running the race in the first place. I particularly detest people who check their brains at the door. Natalie Maines spoke her mind. Emily and Martie supported her. That's more than any of their country fans did. And that's more than any of the jingo-dingo country musicians did, which to me was a betrayal of everything they claim to stand for. After all, what more intrinsic part of our democracy is there beyond the freedom to speak our minds without punishment? The First Amendment reads "Congress shall make no law...abridging the freedom of speech." Period. Not "freedom of speech that only supports the conservative regime's distorted agenda."
The Dixie Chicks were perhaps the best thing that country music had going for them. Too bad country music still hasn't evolved enough to realize how good they had it for a while.
05.31.06 :: c'est la vie edition Loba has needed a little downtime lately. I spent the weekend moving my physical den and dang but my paws are tired. Unpacking is going smoothly, although not quite as quickly as hoped...but c'est la vie.
Speaking of which (you know how Loba loves segues), there's a comic that I really, really like called--you guessed it--C'est La Vie. I think I like it because the language is edgier than most comics, it's not deep, most of the characters are obscene, and the main character reminds me of who I would probably be if I were French.
05.26.06 :: korean madness edition Okay, so I have no idea what the hell this is about...but I can't stop watching it.
05.26.06 :: triple crown edition I keep hearing laments about how there won't be a Triple Crown sweep this year since Barbaro broke his leg at the Preakness. Oh no. How horrible.
How come more people aren't lamenting the fact that these massive animals with toothpick-thin legs are being forced to compete in races that, if they are injured, will often end with them being peeled off the fingers of an elementary school kid during art class? Barbaro is very lucky that he is still alive. Too many racehorses have not been so lucky.
And this really irritated me:
Some racing fans think the Triple Crown is too tough. They say the three races should be scheduled farther apart to make it easier for a horse to win all three. But some of the biggest accomplishments in sports are great exactly because they are so hard to do.
Okay, I think "professional" sports in this country are ridiculous anyway. But to apply the above statement to a horse...hello?! Do you really think a horse in any way comprehends this Jimmy Dugan "The hard is what makes it great" mentality? That's a dangerous level of anthropomorphism that will find too many horses (and dogs...don't EVEN get me started on the Iditarod) on the business end of a rifle.
05.26.06 :: it's already been brought edition The Chief Chimp and his London Lapdog have come as close to admitting that they're incompetent twits as I suppose they ever will. To me this just reeks of another ploy to back the Republican party out of the bog of poo into which they are rapidly sinking.
When asked to name most regrettable missteps, MonkeyBone mumbled:
Saying, "Bring it on"; kind of tough talk, you know, that sent the wrong signal to people. I learned some lessons about expressing myself maybe in a little more sophisticated manner, you know. "Wanted, dead or alive"; that kind of talk. I think in certain parts of the world it was misinterpreted. And so I learned from that.
So the little man-chimp acknowledges that saying "Bring it on" to jihadists looking to get their swerve on with their 40 virgins probably wasn't a good idea. Really? And, uh, how could anyone misinterpret "Wanted, dead or alive"? There's pretty much only one way to read that one, Kemosabe. Kind of like if I said to you, "I think you're a gutless idiot." True, it's not Shakespearean, but it hits the mark pretty effectively, don't you think?
05.25.06 :: hang 'em high edition Yeah, so there won't be any old-fashioned hangings for the Enron creeps...but at least they can enjoy a hopefully long-term stay at Club Penitentiary.
And just think...you guys still won't have to put up with paying taxes and making an honest living, because now you'll be living on the taxpayers' dime. What lucky bastards you are!
05.24.06 :: spotty diatribe edition Everybody wants a piece of Loba lately. I feel like Alice in Wonderland from that Tom Petty video. So I don't know how much thought I will be inciting here...or how deep it will be, at least for a while.
I did, however, just have to drop by and offer my thoughts on teens lying about their virginity pledges. Uh. Duh. I'm not surprised at all. Kids succumb to peer pressure, regardless of whether it's to take a toke or pledge abstinence. Or to promptly break said pledge. Pressure is pressure, whether it's secular or "faith-based." I don't know how many times I watched the holier-than-thou clique answer the "Come to Jesus" call at the end of our mandatory chapels. How many times can you be born again? What, did they lose their born again status at some point in between the Monday call and the Friday call? Is it like keys that can be misplaced? Or is it just that they felt that was what was expected of them? Like swearing that they're not going to have sex...and then engaging in unprotected buggery.
Hmm. Ironically, I found this article while reading another article, brought to my attention by Tex. This one is about women as nothing more than baby machines. Yeah. That's not happening with this wolf. But this article is just so Offred. Take, for example, this tidbit:
New federal guidelines ask all females capable of conceiving a baby to treat themselves -- and to be treated by the health care system -- as pre-pregnant, regardless of whether they plan to get pregnant anytime soon.
Pre-pregnant? What the hell? That's about as ridiculous as treating MonkeyBone as pre-intelligent. Because he has about as much chance of growing a brain as I do of breeding.
And doesn't this mean that post-menarcheal 13-year-olds should be taking all these pre-pregnancy steps? After all, they're now baby incubators, too. And as the previous cited article points out, it's not like they're serious about their virginity pledges. So why not just pull all girls out of school once they reach pre-pregnancy age and start them on pre-maternity leave. Then they won't need to trouble themselves with the stresses of school or work or life. They can just relax and wait for their family to promise them to a husband who will take care of them and fulfill their destiny as child-bearing chattel.
05.19.06 :: special visitor edition Check it out: presidential booger. In the nostril on the photo's right. Finally, something that detracts from the fact that his mouth looks like a gaping anus spewing its typical shit.
05.19.06 :: religious right-on edition So the Christian-operated gas station near my work had one of its usual religious signs up this week...but this one surprised me. It read "Being religious does not always make one right."
Pretty profound. And completely not in step with popular Christian Coalition opinion. They definitely earned Loba-Cool points for that one.
05.19.06 :: bitter ending edition The last minute of last night's season finale of CSI still irritates me. I just want to know, did the writers never see The X-Files after Mulder and Scully got together? Actually, they probably didn't...just like most people didn't see it. That was just one of many sharks that Mulder and Scully jumped toward the end of the show. Hear that, Bruckheimer? End of the show.
Stupid, stupid decision. Now I'm going to be irritated all summer.
05.18.06 :: too easy edition
Latest scientific news is that humans may have interbred with chimpanzees. The article states: "If this theory proves correct, it will mean modern people are descended from something akin to chimp-human hybrids. That is a new idea, and it challenges the prevailing view that hybrids tend to die out."
In a perfect world, yes. In this world, they become president.
05.17.06 :: punishable offenses edition It's too bad that being treacherous bastards doesn't carry the death penalty in this country. Not even Texas will string up Ken Lay and Jeff Skilling for destroying the livelihoods of thousands of people. But sticking their sorry asses in prison for the rest of their miserable lives...that might be a good start.
Sticking them in a room full of their former employees...that might be even better. I'd shell out the cash for that pay-per-view event.
Can't wait to see how this one ends...
05.17.06 :: silver lining edition I would like to thank MonkeyBone and the God-Ordained Plutocracy. You guys have always been uniform in your front (and affront) to the Amurhakin people. And now, you've unified yet again, into the giant ball of suck that has shifted the faith of the people from your dishonest regime back toward the Democrats.
To Democrats, I say this: Pull it together. All this means is that people are turning away from the devil they have known...not that they are turning toward the Democrats for their established leadership (because, let's face it: Right now, I don't think you all could lead yourselves out of the way of an oncoming train). Give them something to turn toward. If you guys screw this up and we end up with another Repubican-controlled Congress, I've got a stock of whoop-ass saved just for you.
05.15.06 :: happy feet edition I can't dance. At all. If guilty feet have truly got no rhythm, then I must have been Jack the Ripper in a previous life.
At least I can say I recognize most of the dances.
05.15.06 :: fond farewell edition President Bartlett left the The West Wing last night. Now I'm left with nothing but the dysyfunctional dystopia of the real regime.
But it was a fantastic two terms, Mr. President.
05.12.06 :: crack-up edition Hey there, Mr. Barry: where you headin' after midnight in such a hurry? Oh, going to see another of your "friends." I think you need to find some better friends, Mr. Barry.
05.12.06 :: power of grayskull edition I'm not ashamed to admit it: I used to love to watch He-Man when I was a kid. I didn't love it enough to want to buy the DVD set (I'd put He-Man in the same category as one of my other favorites, The Facts of Life...great when I was 10, but not even Joanna Marie Polniaczek could get me to buy those shows now).
But I loved He-Man and Battle Cat enough to read this great Slate.com article. Too funny.
And maybe...just maybe I'll rent a disc or two from Netflix...
05.12.06 :: mellifluous edition I love the word "mellifluous." It's one of my favorite words (and, yes, I do have favorite words; what's it to you?).
Irish singers have mellifluous voices. Whether it's the sweet harmonies of the Corrs or the more gutterally operatic voice of Dolores O'Riordan, they're just beautiful.
That's my cultural plug for May.
05.12.06 :: power of one edition I usually don't go for shmaltz. But I have to say, this was a great break in the news of the depressing and politically sleazy (see previous entry). One girl with one request...and she was able to bring a little brightness to the lives of hundreds of girls.
05.12.06 :: big brother's handmaid edition Many Americans don't think there's anything wrong with the MonkeyBone administration's phone call monitoring database. I've heard several state that they have nothing to hide, so why should they worry...the implication, of course, being that only those who have something to hide are against this. Of course, these were people commenting on the much lower estimate of 5,000 people being monitored. Now we learn that this number is missing about three zeros (tangential thought: damn, that sure is a lot of suspected terrorists living in this country).
I have nothing to hide. I still don't want someone listening to my phone conversations.
Those who say that this is the right of the regime and they're all right with it remind me of a line in Margaret Atwood's The Handmaid's Tale. I've quoted this line before, but it bears repeating: "Nothing changes instantaneously: in a gradually heating bathtub you’d be boiled to death before you knew it."
You say you're all right with phone tapping. What temperature will you be all right with next?
05.10.06 :: please, no edition Jeb Bush would make a great president? Aw, hell to the no! I would rather be depilated by rabid wolverines than have another Bush in the White House.
05.10.06 :: contrast edition
After the initial "whathafu" shock of this photo wore off, I realized I was irritated by that age-old truth that is persistent in any circle, but particularly in Hollywood. Here's Michael Douglas doing his impersonation of Wildebeest Willie. What does he care? Should he wish to take a movie role, all he'll need to do is get a shave and a haircut. Hell, if he options the Ted Kaczynski role, he won't even need to do that.
Then there's Heather Locklear, with Botoxed emotionless eyes, scary silicon mouth and either cheek implants or too-tightened skin over her real cheekbones. Officer Sheridan, what the hell happened?
Why does society make women feel that they need to be perpetually 25? And if they don't play the game (a la Isabella Rossellini), they're dropped from the market (Lancôme is run by idiots, by the way). It just makes me sad. Heather Locklear was pretty. Now she's pretty non-biodegradable.
05.10.06 :: buzzing edition I drank a Coke Blāk in the car this morning and now I'm cranking Rob Zombie. It's going to be a buzz-a-rific day.
So don't rent Derailed. It should be called "Rachel Green Trying to be Bad in a Really Bad Movie." Sadly, I have to say that I enjoyed Aeon Flux more than this bomb. And really, that's not saying much at all.
05.05.06 :: bumper-kennedy edition Forgive me for my macabre observation, but I think a law should be passed that forbids any member of the Kennedy clan from operating any moving vehicle. Although I guess running your car into a barrier is better than driving off a bridge...or flying into the ocean.
Lesson reiterated: Never accept a ride from a Kennedy.
05.05.06 :: emerald serendipity edition So remember when I talked about the serendipity of finding the UK Wicked Web site and learning that Idina Menzel is going to play Elphaba again?
Remember how I once lamented that I had regrets, and one of them was not going to New York to see Idina Menzel as Elphaba? Remember how I wrote that "...I've forever missed the opportunity to see the originator of one of my favorite musical/fictional characters"?
Forever really is a very long time. September, however, is only 4 months away...
05.04.06 :: wrist slap edition Wow, Rush Limbaugh's really suffering from his "deferred prosecution agreement" for his nasty pill popping habit.
What a joke. Kinda like Limbaugh.
05.04.06 :: life is stranger... edition I don't even know why I'm commenting on this; I guess because I find it mind-blowingly fascinating. Check out the B.D. Hyman Ministry. She's a teacher, not a preacher. She learned the power of prayer through many ordeals. Top on her list? "In the mid-1980s B.D. Hyman received God's solution to her dysfunctional relationship with her controlling mother."
Bet you're dying to know who her mom is, aren't you? I won't tell, since B.D. never mentions who on her site. But here's a clue: Her mom was a Jezebel and an Old Maid...but it didn't matter because whenever she was on the set, it was always All About...her.
05.04.06 :: clueless edition Another entry into the "Hollywood Sucks" category:
A ninth Halloween movie is being planned - as a prequel to the cult horror franchise. Plans to make Halloween: The Missing Years were shelved when producer Moustapha Akkad died in last year's terrorist attacks in Jordan, but writer Jake Wade Wall has confirmed to moviehole.net that the series is back on. Wall tells the site that the prequel will focus on the life of serial killer Michael Myers as a young man, before he was placed in a mental institution. Wall says, "I've been hired three different times for it (the film)... It looks like it's finally set to go. I know that they're (studio executives) in the process of nailing down a really big director but I haven't been able to figure out who it is yet."
Hello! Michael Myers wasn't a "young man" when he was committed. He was a 6-year-old boy. Any fan of the original movie knows this. Besides, don't they get it? All the explanation we need about the "why" of Michael Myers came from Dr. Loomis:
I met this six-year-old child, with this blank, pale, emotionless face and, the blackest eyes... the devil's eyes! I spent eight years trying to reach him, and then another seven trying to keep him locked up because I realized what was living behind that boy's eyes was purely and simply...evil!
Reason enough for me.
05.03.06 :: nothing but bette edition
Tonight, Turner Classic Movies debuts its biographical documentary on Bette Davis. The Washington Post review is intriguing enough that I'll probably tune in. However, I have to say that Bette Davis will forever be, in my mind at least, perfectly summed up by the 1989 Saturday Night Live sketch in which Jan Hooks played Ms. Davis giving her video will. That sketch was platinum comedy, still vivid in my memory nearly 20 years later. I still laugh at the memory. I still quote the sketch, dammit. That's when SNL was iconically funny.
"And you get...NOTHING!!"
05.03.06 CNN is reporting that a tsunami warning has been issued for Fiji and New Zealand following an earthquake of 8.0 magnitude.
05.03.06 :: spamgelina edition Okay, so what's the deal? In the past two days, I've received 47 spam messages inviting me to see Angelina Jolie nude. Uh. Thanks, but I've already seen Gia.
I hate spam. I hate repetition even more. Stop the madness.
05.03.06 :: direct hit edition A2 knows how to rile a wolf, especially when it comes to bringing to my attention news on my old homestead, P.G. County. Seems that this festering wound of a county is irritated because of how it was depicted in an episode of Commander in Chief. The show depicted them as a violent county. Guess what? You are a violent county. Your statistics prove this fact:
From 2000 to 2005, murder rates in the county were up 140 percent, rapes increased by 34 percent and carjackings soared by 175 percent. There were 34.76 rapes for every 100,000 people in 2005, a higher rate than in the city of Baltimore and surrounding counties including Montgomery, Anne Arundel and Howard.
However, rather than addressing these statistics and happenings, they fall back onto their old reliable: They cry racism. (I will say, having the president get out of a car in front of a restaurant advertising sweet potato pie, chitlins, and pork chops was, if not blatantly racist, definitely ignorantly stereotypical.) They seem to think that this is some sort of infallible invisibility cloak: that declaring that P.G. is the "nation's most affluent majority-Black county" will hide them from the fact that P.G. County is one of the most violent counties in the United States.
What's worse is that when the P.G. County politicos bring up the Black-majority factoid whenever their crime rate is mentioned, they are linking the two factors in the minds of those who are hearing the information. The county leaders are creating their own stereotype of the county--one far more dangerous and racist than sweet potato pie ads and city misrepresentation (Hyattsville is actually one of the less violent cities in P.G.).
Perhaps spending more time fixing the intrinsic illness of your county and less time demanding apologies from a television show that was unfair only in its details and not in its holistic representation will bring you the respect that you think you deserve. Until then, you'll always be P.G. County.
05.02.06 :: bloody insult edition So the New York Times did a cutesy story on how more women are watching gore-soaked horror movies today. Whatever. I've been a horror movie fan since I was 12. I never thought it was that big of a deal. However, there were some interesting/disturbing sociological points throughout the article...tinged with gender issues, but more of a commentary on generational devolution.
Then again, maybe that's just what I saw...
05.01.06 :: mission accomplished edition
It's been 3 years since the still-unclear mission was declared accomplished. What do you think is more tragic: The fact that 2,258 U.S. soldiers have died since this day when MonkeyBone announced that "major combat operations in Iraq have ended"? Or the fact that he is so repugnantly clueless and bull-headed that he will never apologize for the arrogance of this photo-op?
05.01.06 :: long way home edition I am so friggin' excited. The Dixie Chicks are finally releasing a new CD. Taking the Long Way releases on May 23. If it's half as good as Home, I'll be satisfied.
04.28.06 :: committed edition So I wanted to say something scathing about how, after speaking at a gas station in the Repubicans' latest attempt to pretend that they're actually going to come down hard on oil companies, Dennis Hastert left a gas station in a HydroGen 3 van, only to have it drive him a block to his SUV...but sometimes the truth speaks volumes alone.
04.26.06 :: art desecrates life edition With last night's premiere of United 93, the phrase "blood money" received an entirely new definition.
According to this article, Universal has agreed to donate 10 percent of opening weekend gross to a still-not-confirmed Shanksville memorial.
Wow. Ten percent of opening weekend. How...messed up is that, that they're going to keep any of that money?
04.26.06 :: inside job edition It is now official: Fux News will now spin live from the White House on a daily basis. What an unbelievable crock of GOPoo.
Then again, why are you listening to me? I hate anything about this regime, so of course this is going to irritate me. I'm stubborn; guess that's why I'm a donkey.
04.26.06 :: environment unwelcome edition Spring arrived, but the cows and horses never reappeared. I knew then that something was wrong. And then I read that Crown Farm was slated for urban development. This beautiful farm, settled right in the middle of infectious sprawl, will soon be no more. Because we need more housing and shopping. Right. More overpriced, pretentious housing and stores for overindulged, pretentious people.
Give me the cows and horses any day of the week.
04.25.06 :: ham-handed fool edition MonkeyBone babbled about renewable fuels today. But first he delivered a status report on his made-up war. Reminds me of how practically every speech Mel Martinez ever gave as Secretary of Housing and Urban Development usually consisted of about 5 minutes of housing-related issues, placed at the very end of a pro-invasion pep talk.
I guess MonkeyBone has to be his own cheerleader now. He then proceeded to lie about how he's going to make sure that the Amuhrkin people aren't screwed over by the oil industry. (Right. And Dick Cheney will walk his daughter down the aisle at her commitment ceremony.) Oh, and let's not forget to blame the Democrats for blocking the passage of drilling in ANWR. Monkey Man is quoted as stating:
But it's also important to understand that if ANWR had been law a decade ago, America would be producing about a million additional barrels of oil a day and that would increase our current level of domestic supply by 20 percent.
And which oil-slicked orifice did you pull those numbers from? More "scientific findings" brought to you by the MonkeyBone Science Corps. If the findings don't fit the lie...make 'em fit.
04.25.06 :: avoidance edition I read about this yesterday, but I was so disturbed/depressed by it that I just didn't want to think about it, not to mention write about it. A 12-year-old boy in P.G. County bludgeoned to death his mother and 9-year-old brother. He then spent the night at a friend's house and called the police the next morning when he "discovered" the bodies. He's been officially charged with murder.
I don't even want to think about the "why" of this one.
04.25.06 :: restless edition I've been seeing television commercials for "Restless Leg Syndrome." I'm thankful I'm not prone to hypochondria, because the symptoms are so frighteningly non-specific that anyone might have RLS. You, dear snoggee, might suffer from it right now. (For a while, I thought that I might have it, too...but then I realized that I had Leadinass Syndrome and all the prolonged sitting from this syndrome made my legs fall asleep, simulating RLS.)
Yet I've become more than a little cynical about an industry with the potential advertising power to create a medical problem, flood doctors' offices with samples of a drug designed to deal with it -- and then get people up off their TV chairs to come in and ask about it.
I think I could come up with something more convincing than Restless Leg Syndrome. Maybe I should create a disease and submit it to the drug companies, just to see what they come up with as a cure.
04.25.06 :: between the lines edition Maybe I'm reading too much into this article, but I swear the writer is basically saying that crusty Southern white people (including Jesse Helms) are to blame for Claude Allen walking into Northern department stores and willingly committing serial fraud that raked in five grand and a shitload of goods.
Am I reading too much into this?
04.25.06 :: long lead time edition MonkeyBone is desperately trying to convince his supporters that the Repubicans will be able to do something to alleviate rising gas prices. He's been focusing on alternative energy...but the only reason for that is because he's afraid voters will focus on alternative politicians come November.
Spewing empty promises isn't going to suddenly make the earth start producing more crude. MonkeyBone had the chance to deal with the issue of alternative fuels when he first came into office. Instead, he ignored alternative options available now and blathered on about hydrogen cells (which are years from being a stable source of alternative energy)...and then chose to focus on an unwarranted invasion.
But it's the Democrats who are at fault because they didn't want ANWR drilled. Really, I suppose it's the Democrats' fault for understanding what the word "finite" means. Oil is FINITE. And hopefully, voters' patience with Repubicans is FINITE as well this November.
04.25.06 :: portrait perfect edition The Clintons have been immortalized in paint. The portraits were unveiled last night, and will soon be available for viewing at the newly renovated portrait gallery.
I'm wondering though: When Hillary is elected president, will this mean that she'll be able to have a second painting of herself commissioned?
04.21.06 :: uncovered edition I'm disconcerted that I had to read about the Florida boot camp protests in a British paper. Apparently, beating a boy to death and comparing a U.S. senator to a terrorist leader ("Obama-Osama": the GOP's "Uma-Oprah," only nowhere near as funny) in Jeb Bush's state is considered "under-the-radar" news to the local rags.
04.21.06 :: ooh ooh edition Yesterday when I was driving home from work, I could see the Ozian spires of the Mormon temple, partially framed by a crane. Looked to me like they were cleaning the temple. Guess it was time to scrape off all the flying monkey poo that collected throughout the winter.
I took the image to be a sign...for me to check out the Wicked Web site. Very serendipitous. I just learned that Elphaba and Glinda are hopping the pond to defy gravity and spread their popularity among the Brits.
Better news than this you want? Idina Menzel will be their first Elphaba. For a limited time.
04.20.06 :: lethargic hodgepodge edition Things keep irritating me...but I find that I'm floating in a sea of lethargy, too indifferent at the moment to even care that two Fux News anchors are being considered to replace Scott McClellan as the new White House Press Secretary. Apparently, we've decided to drop the pretense and accept that Fux News is just another Repubican pep squad. Bully.
And Shithead Rove...or whatever the hell MonkeyBone calls him...is moving into the offensive position again, literally and figuratively. Seems the regime is trying to shore up its crumbling walls by sending Rover out to attack Democratic contenders who want to unseat Repubican control in the mid-term elections. Essentially, they want him to reprise his role from the 2004 presidential campaign. Guess this means more smoke-and-mirror bullshit to deflect our attention away from the sucking chestwound we've caused in the Middle East, and onto more important things such as how gay marriage will cause the universe to implode.
Hey, maybe the military should steal this tactic from the GOP gargoyles as their new campaign for volunteers: "U.S. Army: Ship Your Son To Iraq and Save Him From the Queers." I think that would boost their numbers quite a bit as they continue to pick through Southern towns for more Iraqi bomb fodder.
Heh, check me and my meandering rant.
All I want to do is listen to my Corrs CDs in a blissful Celtic pop coma.
04.18.06 :: global salvation edition Interesting article on Gore's campaign to save the planet. I'm sure the Republicans are still making fun of his Captain Planet tirades...then again, caring about the environment is not a Republican quality. Clashes too much with their big oil whoring.
Nestled within this excellently written article is perhaps one of the most eloquently powerful anti-MonkeyBone statements I have ever read:
Bush has been studiously anti-science, a man of applied ignorance who has undernourished his mind with the empty calories of comfy dogma.
To paraphrase the author, this would make MonkeyBone laughable if he weren't so reckless.
04.18.06 :: crash landing edition Back home and nearly finished with rebooting my brain. Today's going to be a slow day. I think cleaning out my inbox is the most monumental task I might undertake this day.
04.16.06 :: miss brodie's spark edition Maggie Smith may have won an Oscar for breathing cinematic life into Jean Brodie...but it was Muriel Spark who first created the prime of Miss Jean Brodie.
I hope Ms. Spark is once again in her prime.
04.15.06 :: mad as hell edition "I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take it anymore!"
I'm an angry Democratic blogger. But I look like friggin' Shirley Temple in comparison to these guys. But you know what? This is just part of the reaping that MonkeyBone and his gargoyles deserve for all their seeds of depravity. You can't shit down the throats of an entire nation for this long and not expect them to no longer believe that it's chocolate ice cream.
I think it's time for this ice cream social to end...
04.14.06 :: commercial break edition I've disconnected from my Borg feeding station and left the work world for a few days. I switched my brain off yesterday at 4:15. I'm going to take a few days to reboot. So pardon my spotty contemplations a tad bit longer.
I sure was surprised, though, to hear this morning that MonkeyBone is standing behind Secretary Skeletor...I mean Rumsfeld. Right. And we all remember what happened to Michael Brown after MonkeyBone's "heckuva job" statement.
However, Rumsfeld was so touched by the support, that he not only thanked the "president" but also, in an unprecedented move, apologized for this rather incriminating photo taken during an off-the-record discussion of MonkeyBone's IQ versus his penis size. This discussion is also infamous for Rumsfeld's rumored comment, "Little pee-pee make big war."
(I know, it's a low shot, but damn if they don't make it easy sometimes. I guess this is how GOPers felt about the blue dress...)
04.13.06 :: tribute edition I know, I know...I have been lax in my contemplations again. Would you believe that work is just that crazy? Plus, my spare time in the evenings has been spent working on something special to me. See, Monday marked 6 months since my sweet girl, Jodie, lost her battle with hemangiosarcoma. I knew it would make me sad, so I decided that I would funnel all those feelings into something that would honor her the way she was: fun, happy, and full of bounce and rhythm.
So I ventured into foreign waters: I decided I would do a video. This is what I came up with. It's a Windows Media file that's almost 9 megabytes. Sorry about the size, but I think you'll all enjoy the final product. Oh, I also decided I wanted it to be a pop-up window, so this is new, too. If the link doesn't work, you can access the file this way, too.
04.11.06 :: brave boo edition Brave souls at the Nationals' opening game, to boo Deadeye Dick Cheney. I'm sure that he would have done a much better job delivering the opening pitch if it had been launched as skeet and he had his trusty rifle with him.
I love that he was booed. It's juvenile, but I don't care. So nyeh.
04.10.06 :: blāk crack edition There's a new Coke in town. Typically, I don't like colas. This...this I wanted to drink nonstop. It's called Coca-Cola Blāk. It's a mixture of Coke and coffee. They should just call it Coca-Cola Crāk, because I swear I wanted to drink all four in the pack that I bought. This is what it looks like.
It doesn't look like it's in wide distribution in the United States, but be on the lookout, dear ones. It's awesome.
04.07.06 :: new view edition Wow. I just had a startling and personally upsetting epiphany. I just read the article on the Gospel of Judas. Interesting stuff, that perhaps Judas was the one disciple closest to Jesus. Not sure. But then another thought started to grow. Jesus was sent to earth to be sacrificed for our sins. But He needed help. Someone had to be placed on this planet with one sole purpose: the betrayal of the Messiah. That means that Judas was created to be the betrayer, to go down in history as being the first domino to start the tumble toward crucifixion. And his reward is to be one of the most reviled figures in Christianity.
I don't know why this bothers me so much. I'm a flip-flopping agnostic who really can't marry my beliefs and my propensity for hyper-analysis of everything. Besides, history is strewn with people who have caused much higher, more violent body counts than Judas. But Judas betrayed the Messiah. Whether this new gospel is true and he was asked by Jesus to be the betrayer, or whether the other disciples get closer to the truth with their gospels...it doesn't matter. Judas was created to betray. That just feels like a betrayal in itself: a betrayal by the Creator of His creation. Either way, what an abuse of power. If Judas was asked to betray, how could he say no? And if he wasn't asked; if his will was predestined...has a rather lab rat in a maze kinda feel to it to me.
Okay, I'm going to just step to the left of the lightning bolts now...
04.07.06 :: cellular peptide edition Today's image on my Star Trek daily calendar is a photo of Deanna Troi as a cake. Cellular peptide cake, to be precise. Talk about taking the phrase "Eat me" a little too literally...
04.06.06 :: subpar subpoena edition Uh-oh...grand jury? Felony? Assault? Better apologize and start shutting up...although might be a little too late for that, hmm?
04.06.06 :: worthless revelation edition Scooter Libby has confirmed MonkeyBone and Big Time's approval of his leaking of information. Dig bucking feal. I swear, people in this country are so stupid that MonkeyBone could crap on a plate and make them eat it and they'd all stand right there behind him, with their vacant eyes and slack jaws...probably babbling something about how it was right for the country and our fight against the evil doers.
I love the part in the article that discusses how much these goons detest leaks:
But both men have repeatedly criticized the leaking of sensitive intelligence to the news media, and the administration has ordered investigations of leaks concerning a National Security Agency eavesdropping program and the existence of secret overseas CIA prisons for terrorist suspects.
Duh. Of course they want to find who leaked information that snitched them out. But leaking the identity of Valerie Plame...they most certainly viewed that as retribution for speaking ill of the emperor.
This administration's slogan should have been "Bush / Cheney: Two Wrongs Don't Make a Right; They Make a Regime."
I think I'd prefer Victory Gin and Newspeak.
04.06.06 :: subjugation edition So, according to Scientology, Katie Holmes will have to give birth to her child without making a sound, including any screaming as recognition of the pain she is going to feel as she passes a watermelon through a tube sock. Oh and don't forget that Scientologists don't believe in drugs, so if she's going hard-core Scientologist, no epidurals for her.
Only a man would come up with something as completely ridiculous and subjugating as that. I think they should balance the playing field a little: Each time that Katie goes through a massive contraction, Tom should be kicked in the groin and told not to make a sound. That way it won't be just Katie who never wants to go through that experience again (I bet this is the real reason why Nicole and Tom adopted...).
04.06.06 :: environmental killer edition I suppose I need to go back and refresh my memory of C.S. Lewis' Narnian chronicles. Because I guess I never envisioned that a movie of The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe would play like a Republicanesque anti-ANWR wet dream. I get it: White Witch...100-year winter...cold land minions...blah, blah, blah. I just hate it when wolves are depicted as evil.
At least Philip Pullman made a polar bear a hero in his books.
I can also imagine that the Kiwis are probably wondering if there will ever be a movie filmed in New Zealand that doesn't require them to dress as centaurs or other mythical beasts, or strap on their leathers and/or chain mail and fight with swords and bows and ride lots of horses. Because if you count the illustrious days of Herc and Xena, these guys have been dressing for those particular roles for more than a decade now.
04.05.06 :: repubican values edition For a political party that touts superior morality and family values, I bet they really wish they could say Brian Doyle was adopted. If you're going to be a vile, lascivious shit, at least remove any visible signs that reveal you're a top-level official with the one department designated to protect this country's citizens...although apparently not from you, right? Or maybe he thought that his TSA lanyard was something akin to Harry Potter's invisibility cloak...wear it and your disgusting behavior will remain unseen, protected by the shield of Republican "values."
04.05.06 :: pathetic edition Ya know, there might have been a time when I would have been proud of the fact that the Lady Terps won the NCAA championship title last night. But when it's immediately overshadowed by ignorant fans who felt the need to riot...well, how can anyone be proud of a bunch of spoiled students chanting "Fuck Duke" and "Fuck the police" while dancing around bonfires as though they're Lord of the Flies rejects? I mean, who couldn't be proud of this from their alma mater:
One man, who had a T-shirt wrapped around his face and identified himself only as "John," said he wanted to "Keep the tradition," by joining in the melee. But it was his girlfriend, who identified herself as "Suzie," who encouraged him to "Start a few fires" and "Knock some shit over."
"Knock some shit over." The sheer poetry brings tears to my eyes.
And they tried to tip over a Shuttle-UM bus. Whathafu? "We won a stupid game so we're going to cause massive damage to university transportation?"
Next time, the police should just insist that all students who wish to watch the game report to Cole Field House, where they should then be locked inside. They can then riot and burn all they want until the police pump in sedative gas that also, hopefully, has a sterilizing effect on all in attendance.
04.04.06 :: tomorrow is a new today edition Wow. So Bubble Gum Katie is going to leave the perky sanctuary of sanitized ersatz news. Big change, going from fluffy mornings to gritty evenings.
Hmm. And that's all I'll say for now.
04.04.06 :: no further delay edition We will now have a Hammerless House. I suspect, though, that good ole Tommy Boy soon will be introduced to a different kind of house...one with color-coordinated clothing and bars.
04.03.06 :: reality bush edition So I heard that MonkeyBone's keepers are letting him be himself at press conferences. Peter Baker writes in this article:
As he takes to the road to salvage his presidency, Bush is letting down his guard and playing up his anti-intellectual, regular-guy image.
Anti-intellectual, regular guy. What frightens me is that this is the image that people vote for now in this country: a personality that at one point would barely qualify for part-time fry duty at Burger King. Now there's a huge group of people that thinks this is what qualifies a person to run this country.
I guess I'm just not narcissistic enough to want a "regular joe" running this country. Or maybe I am narcissistic enough to want someone in charge who at least gives a rat's ass about intelligence and qualifications.
04.03.06 :: house of cards edition No more Baltimore for Loba. It was nearly a week. Felt like a month. A very condensed, very busy, very frenetic month.
I missed out on a lot of news last week because of my work schedule, but there were some things that you just couldn't miss...like the release of Jill Carroll. Blessed be.
The other big thing was this bullshiggidy goin' down with Georgia Representative Cynthia McKinney. Just a thought: If you're going to play the race card, you might not want to wait before you do. Especially if you want to combine it with a sexual harassment allegation. Also, consider the fact that this allegation came out AFTER she already made a statement to the press about the altercation. If she had been treated inappropriately by the officer, why did she only say that she deeply regretted that the incident occurred in her first statement? Why not make your claim right away? And apparently this isn't the first time that Ms. McKinney has pulled this particular card from her deck.
If this allegation is true, that's one thing. But if it is true, why wait to tell the truth? This just reeks of fabrication.
03.29.06 :: blown away edition Inner Harbor contemplations. PoLT sent me a lovely e-mail this morning about how conditions are perfect for the Northeast to get its share of heavy hurricane pummeling this season. Sounds like it's more focused on the New England area, but who knows?
Perhaps MonkeyBone should just have some of his special scientists tell the hurricanes that they don't believe in global warming, so there's no way that conditions are right for hurricanes to come up this way.
03.28.06 :: leaving edition Time once again to play "Where in the World is Loba San Diego?" This year, snoggees, I haven't ventured far from the lair. I'll give you some hints: It's a harbor city known for its crabs (no jokes, please...though there are ample jokes to be made for this particular city). Bombs once burst in air...and the rockets' red glare...yadda yadda. Yes, that's right...Loba is in beautiful downtown Baltimore. For a whole week. My excitement cannot be slaked.
Speaking of exciting departures (segue alert, segue alert!!), when good ole Andy Card rolls out of the White House, can he take his dumbass boss with him? Because he's the one who needs to be replaced with new and fresh ideas. But that's just my opinion...
03.22.06 :: booked edition Lovely article on the plight of bibliophiles who wish to hold on to their beloved books. One thing is certain to this book nerd: I'll never be hiring Kim Oser to help me organize. No one with such a lack of understanding for the book lover could ever help a book lover organize.
03.22.06 :: ain't that a bitch edition I'm down. Steven Tyler is going to visit the Hoodoo/Voodoo Medicine Man for an undisclosed surgical procedure. Aerosmith has subsequently canceled the rest of their North American tour without even a lick and a promise they'd be back soon. Fans are cryin' about when they'll next get to see the guys with the magic touch. Get a grip, though, Aero-fans! Hopefully, it won't be a permanent vacation (Steven hasn't even gone through half of his nine lives). In the mean time, don't get too jaded.
Okay, I'm now finished with the Aerosmith puns. And for the record: I crammed 10 Aerosmith song titles in that little blurb. I could've done more, but some of us do have to work...
03.22.06 :: grin and bear-hug it edition
"Look-a-here: that Kanye boy don't know a damn thing about me. I loves me some black people. Just so long as they're well-dressed, middle-class, in small numbers, and greeting me in a friendly public venue of support for my regime. Now don't get too friendly...and make sure you keep your hands where my Secret Service guys can see 'em, unnerstand?"
Truth of the matter is that MonkeyBone will cuddle up with anyone supporting his agendas, including anyone who supports his regime's hard line on abortion. $157 million to religious organizations since he took office...money that once upon a time might have gone in part to Planned Parenthood now goes to Planned Parenthood picketers.
What I would like to see are number of children coming into the adoption pipeline versus number of children being adopted, number of children in foster care versus number of caseworkers available for each foster child case. Also, dollar amounts of what MonkeyBone is sending to adoption and foster care services to make sure that there are enough specialists to handle jumps in children being thrown away by people who didn't want them in the first place. Unless he'd like his brother Jeb to handle foster care. His state has done such a fan-fucking-tabulous job of it.
03.21.06 :: babbling bush edition
At his latest press conference, MonkeyBone shit in his hand and flung it at a group of reporters. When asked why the hell he did that, MonkeyBone stated that he was tired of verbally spewing shit at the American media, so he figured he would just do literally what he has been doing figuratively for the past 6 years.
What this country could use is a little less manliness -- and a little more of what you would describe as womanly qualities: restraint, introspection, a desire for consensus, maybe even a touch of self-doubt.
Wouldn't that be lovely?
03.20.06 :: reminiscent edition I adore Brett Butler. I love her humor: down-home acerbic and oh-so-intelligent. I love her voice: Georgia-heavy and magnolia mellifluous. I love her writing style. I still think Knee Deep in Paradise is one of the greatest autobiographies I have ever read. First time through, I finished the last page and flipped right back to the beginning. I had to read it again. I couldn't let that experience end so soon.
I don't know what sparked this contemplation. Perhaps it was seeing, as I do every morning, the photo of Brett Butler and me, taken by A2 at Brett's first appearance at the D.C. Improv after her post-Grace Under Fire recuperation. I remember reading about that glorious return and nearly falling out of my chair with excitement. Here, this goddess of comedy was coming to walk among the D.C. politerati. I have seen her three times since her return to stand-up. I'm patiently awaiting number four.
So this morning I took a trip to Brett's Web site and read some of her missives. Not the same as seeing her in concert, but it'll do. I haven't written a fan letter since I was a teenager, so this contemplation will have to do. If you ever do a search on yourself and stumble upon this, I'm the one who told you at your 2000 appearance at the D.C. Improv (was it really 6 years ago?) that I thought you were "so goddamned funny and one of the best writers I've ever had the pleasure of reading."
Next time you come to town, I could buy you a latte and I swear to keep my starry-eyed adoration in check. We can discuss dogs and dreams and dogma. And how the cloud really does look like a bunny at times.
(See what Guinness does to a Gaelic girl?)
03.17.06 :: blarney albatross edition
"Woo-weee! This here Gay-lick feller just taught me tha dang-diggidy greatest Eyerush blessin'! Told me that I should say it to ever' mick I see today. Said it'd make me even more popaler than I already am. So, to all you Eyerushes out there: 'Póg mo thóin!' "
(just this wolf's guess at the simianesque thoughts that must have inspired one of the biggest f-idiot photos I have seen yet of Herr MonkeyBone...)
03.17.06 :: next up edition When asked who was going to be MonkeyBone's newest environmental executioner...er, I mean Secretary of the Interior, Governor Dirk Kempthorne declared, "I da ho."
Hmm. Sorry. It was too deliciously bad to resist.
Maybe Dirk and Dick should go hunting together to celebrate. Maybe they can fly out to Alaska for some aerial gunning of wolves. Hey, maybe that's the new Repubican tactic: Kill all the Alaskan wildlife, and then there won't be any more environmental balking at ANWR drilling! Bloody brilliant.
(I always feel so dirty when I think like a Repubican.)
03.17.06 :: flashpoint edition So the NRA continues to fight for the right to bear arms. And the parents continue to let the entertainment industry rear their children while they're off making fistfuls of dollars. And this industry continues to celebrate thugs who glorify their violent pasts rather than celebrating those who have chosen the far more difficult road of rising above such violence. And these thugs continue to promote the idea that violence equals respect (kind of like how spinning rims equal intelligence).
And then we wonder how society has spiraled so out of control that people are killing each other over nothing. Really, it doesn't take a sociology degree to figure this one out.
03.17.06 :: Éireann go Brách edition Wear your green and don't forget to ask the barkeep, "Pionta Guinness, le do thoil."
Sláinte!
03.15.06 :: under the sea edition Last night I watched Howl's Moving Castle. I pledge my undying allegiance to Hayao Miyazaki. What a gloriously talented mind.
Even better? There was an advertisement on the DVD for an upcoming special 2-disc edition of my all-time favorite Disney movie: The Little Mermaid.
I'm as happy as a little girl...
03.14.06 :: musical invasions edition MonkeyBone has declared, kinda sorta, a half-assed transition deadline for Iraq. Maybe. But not really. Just that Iraqis will be taking over more of their own policing tasks. But not really, because none of the Iraqi forces are currently standing on their own. They all have some kind of American troop support. But that doesn't really play into MonkeyBone's declaration.
I particularly like how, while declaring (you know, kinda sorta) that the Iraqis will be taking more responsibility, he then verbally attacks Iran. So I guess the game plan is to move the soldiers from Iraq to Iran...because them's fightin' words, you bumbling douche bag.
Apparently, this is the secret "Hokey Pokey" invasion plan that the Republican regime has been working so hard to finalize: "You put your troops right in; you pull your troops back out; you put your troops right in and you move them all about..."
03.14.06 :: don't "call me" edition Wow. I guess time doesn't heal all wounds. At least not if you're Debbie Harry and your former bandmates ask to play with you at your induction into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Harsh, Debbie. At least she didn't compare the hall of fame to "urine in wine," as did the Sex Pistols when they learned of their induction.
You know something is all out of whack when Ozzy Osbourne is one of the better behaved at an event...
03.14.06 :: jump to wrong conclusions edition I keep revisiting the House resolution to repeal the 22nd amendment. Something just kept sticking in my mind: Steny Hoyer is the one who sponsored this resolution. Steny Hoyer is a Democrat. Three of the four cosponsors are Democrats.
So I went back to the original resolution and started reading more. This is something that I should have done before my initial contemplation. Hoyer and Co. want the 22nd amendment repealed because, as Hoyer states in his introduction of the resolution, "...the American people would have restored to themselves and future generations an essential democratic privilege to elect who they choose in the future."
I understand. Without the 22nd amendment, we would be able to keep voting back into office a president doing a good job, rather than having to start from scratch every 8 years. I still think, however, that this is horribly dangerous in light of who is currently running the country. I think with as treacherous as the Republican party is, the one thing we have going for us, to end the treachery, is the 22nd amendment. Without that in place, there will be no end to MonkeyBone stealing elections and crowning himself Rex Moronicus.
So I understand better the resolution and why it has been entered...but I still think it would be incredibly stupid to repeal 22 at this point in time.
03.14.06 :: slow-ba edition Everything seems to be taking Loba a long time to finish lately. I've been taking on projects like the Titanic took on water, and I'm about as buoyant at this point. That just means a tightening of the belt around my free time. I did finally finish one of the books that's been on my nightstand for a month. Woo.
So I don't really know what to think of Feingold's call for MonkeyBone censure. I absolutely believe that he should be censured. Actually, I think he should be impeached. What I don't understand is why the majority of the Democrats in Congress don't feel the same way...or are too afraid to say that they feel the same way. But this is exactly why the Republicans are able to carry out their treachery and the Democrats can't even pull it together to do the right thing. It's hard to raise your fist against the wrongdoers when both hands are so busy covering your own ass.
The Democrats really need to get it together. Unified, they could take down this regime. Get out there with one voice, speak loudly, speak often, state the same message. It's working for MonkeyBone...it'll work even better for those speaking the truth. Because honestly, this discordant wishy-washy bull shiggidy coming from the Democratic party is tedious and I'm growing increasingly bored with it. Don't make me go Jim Jeffords on your asses...
03.10.06 :: friends in no places edition MonkeyBone is distressed by the DP World pullout from our ports. He thinks it has broader chimplications and sends a bad message to our global friends and allies. Uh, what global friends? Thanks to his cowboy blundering, we're a global pariah.
Why doesn't he just say it? He wants to strengthen ties with "moderate Arab countries in the Middle East" because he's sucking their big...oil rigs. Perhaps if we weren't such gas-guzzling morons in this country, we wouldn't have a fear of having our oil supply cut off.
Good riddance to bad news, that's what I say. Of course, I'm sure MonkeyBone will find someone worse to take her place. It seems like there's never any shortage of "someone worse" in that regime.
03.10.06 :: paper trail edition I can't help but wonder about Maryland Governor Robert Ehrlich's endorsement of switching Maryland voters back to a paper ballot, in light of the upcoming gubernatorial election. Ehrlich was a major supporter of the touch-screen voting system, implemented right before the 2004 presidential election. Now, when it's time for him to go up for re-election, he wants them removed. Why? Because, as he now says, the touch-screen voting process is fallible.
Interesting worry from a Republican politician, isn't it? Could it be because we're all stuck with another term of fallibility because of touch-screen voting? Could that possibly be the reason for sudden mistrust?
03.09.06 :: pull-out edition Well now, guess this solves the little tiff between MonkeyBone and his congressional bitches. Dubai Ports World has pulled out.
But wouldn't it be great if the Republicans continued to stand up to MonkeyBone? Wouldn't it though...
03.09.06 :: 70 times 7 snorts edition You know, only Marion Barry would be ballsy enough to whip out Bible verses during his sentencing. And really, there should be no sympathy for someone who made $538,000 during the time period in which he did not pay taxes. That's more than enough money to be able to get by. If he was broke, it was because of his own (snort, snort) ignorant choices.
So what about his positive drug tests? What Bible verse is he going to pull out to justify that?
03.09.06 :: stoogery edition Very interesting article on Slate.com about the discordant buffoonery taking place in the Democratic party. The nation is ready for change, but there are no strong Democrats ready to lead this shift. It's a shame, because the Democrats could rule the roost the way the Republicans have since MonkeyBone stole his first presidential election.
Makes a young donkey weep with frustration...
03.09.06 :: honeymoon ended edition Work has been crazy...but Loba was also taken out of commission by tainted tilapia. Food poisoning is ugly, snoggees. Just ugly.
But I'm back, reveling in the honeymoon halt between the Republican Congress and Herr MonkeyBone. Seems even the Republicans see the insanity of MonkeyBone's Dubai Ports World push and they aren't all that eager to back him like the presidential bitches they've consistently been for the past 6 years. I'm shocked, shocked to find spines in this regime.
Even more shockingly, MonkeyBone has now decided to lay blame at Congress' feet for the still-slow Katrina response. Sounds so very Mean Girls, doesn't it? Go against me and I'll ruin you!! Next, he'll be starting rumors that Hillary has a fat ass and Teddy was seen stealing utensils from the Senate cafeteria.
There was actually a time when I saw some humor in this regime. I'm tired of it now, though. How can we make him go away?
03.07.06 Dammit. Dana Reeve was a lady of grace...the perfect compliment to her man of steel. Their son is going to need some incredible support right now.
03.06.06 :: bad sunni rising edition Civil war is imminent in Iraq. On the vast and seemingly never-ending list of things that will earmark George W. Bush as the worst president in American history, his arrogant charge into Iraq will be number one. We are so deeply entrenched in this mess, and time is ticking toward an inevitable draft reinstatement. What does MonkeyBone care though? He's on total reality disconnect, same as he was during Vietnam. After all, he claims that he served his country during that war. Just like he's serving this country now as its monarch.
I just wish the Democrats could pull it together. I'd like someone to be a real contender for the next presidential elections. Because although I'm sure that by the time the next election rolls around, people will be so sick of Repubican crap that they'd willingly vote for Mr. Ed if he was running on the Democratic ticket...I'd like someone better than a talking horse for president.
Although a talking horse would be better than the jackass we have now.
03.02.06 :: accidental edition Loba is a stretched wolf right now. To give you some idea of how hectic it is right now, I haven't had a chance to do anything more than listen to the news on my drive into work in the mornings. Yes, dear snoggees, it's just that crazy right now. So neglect the lair I must. But I wanted to drop by and do a little housecleaning.
I also wanted to say how saddened I am by this morning's horrible Beltway accident. I can't imagine how terrifying this must have been to witness. And for the poor guy who was hit by this load of wood, I'm so sorry for his family. All he was doing was driving to work.
02.24.06 :: serve the master edition Lawmakers in both Maryland and Virginia have rejected proposed bans on opium dens. This should in no way be seen as either state catering to an industry that helped boost their financial livelihood for years. Both states were once leading opium providers, with Richmond housing one of the largest opium factories on the East Coast. The countryside of either state is still riddled with the signs of farmland that once grew massive quantities of poppies. Poppy barns are considered historical landmarks in Southern Maryland; in fact, the College of Southern Maryland even has an old poppy barn in the middle of their campus.
Sounds ridiculous? Change opium to tobacco and you'll understand what I'm getting at after reading this article.
A drug is a drug.
02.23.06 :: defining edition According to the Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary, the number one word that people looked up in 2005 was "integrity."
Obviously, Republicans do not use this Web site.
Ironically, the final word on the top 10 list is "inept." I propose that this be updated as a visual definition that, when clicked, shows a photo of George W. Bush.
02.23.06 :: wacko on, wacko off edition Dude, you must either be a great karate teacher or you really suck at karate to get your ass whomped by 10-year-old twin sisters who were in your karate class...that is, before you were arrested as the dumbass who tried to rob their family home.
This guy deserves a Darwinian special mention, to be sure.
02.23.06 :: step back edition
South Dakotans, observe this man. This is Representative Roger Hunt. He is the new adoption agency for the whole state of South Dakota. You have an unwanted pregnancy that you can't end...have the child and leave it with him. He will be happy to accept the baby. After all, he's the proud promoter of the strictest abortion ban in the nation.
This new bill, which is centimeters away from being signed into law, doesn't even allow for abortions in special circumstances such as rape or incest. He was "delighted" that these allowances were stricken, because they would have "diluted the bill and its impact on the national scene."
So here's what I propose. I propose that women living in other states who find themselves pregnant and considering an abortion: Don't do it. Move to South Dakota. Have the baby. Put the child up for adoption. Let Roger and Co. figure out what to do with the child.
Did I sound heartless enough? No worse than a man who is thrilled over denying abortion rights to a woman impregnated from rape.
02.22.06 :: mark of the beast edition Oh, I bet the pulpit-pounders at my old high school are shitting bricks over human bar codes. See, they used to tell us that in the end days, everyone would need to be stamped with the mark of the beast, and this would be the only way we would be able to purchase food and supplies. The mark, according to them, would pretty much look like a bar code that we would need to have scanned. If you took the mark, though, then you would suffer eternal damnation. Only the purest of Christian souls would refuse the mark.
And here we find out that the mark was inside us all along...
02.22.06 :: pimp my vette edition With all love and respect to Sammy the Wonder Car, I wish I still had my very first car. Well, it wasn't really mine. But it was the first car I drove. It was a 1980 Chevrolet Chevette. Metallic blue that was the same color as a Smurf...thus the nickname "SmurfMobile." Dark blue vinyl seats that could fry the skin right off your ass if you were unfortunate enough not to find parking in the shade in the summertime. Rear wheel drive that fishtailed in a snowstorm like Moby Dick on speed. With four cylinders, 85 was its top speed (but only if you liked the feel of a car getting ready to vibrate apart beneath you).
We traveled everywhere in that car when I was a kid. Family vacation time came around and it was me, my first dog Bear, and the cooler, all on the backseat. The hatchback would be loaded as would be any other spare spot that could store a bag, a blanket, a pillow, or anything else. We drove to Florida every year in that car.
The SmurfMobile was pimp. If I had it now, I'd want to get it tricked out by a show like Pimp My Ride. But I wouldn't want a stupid "pimp." I don't drive my Playstation to work, so I don't need to play video games in my car. I'd want it to be front-wheel drive, with a shwinky V-6 under the hood...maybe I'd get him tricked out as a hybrid. Would that be possible? FABRIC SEATS. Same metallic blue. No fucking rims. I hate rims. Clean white walls. I remember scrubbing the white walls on Smurfie and being so proud of that bright gleam. And a vanity tag that reads "SMURF IT." Translate it how you will.
Smurfie was the shizzle.
02.22.06 :: gauntlet edition "They ought to look at the facts and understand the consequences of what they're going to do."
So speaks MonkeyBone Moronicus in reference to the bipartisan feelings of unease (finally, he's a Unitifier!) over the port deal being solidified with United Arab Emirates' Dubai Port World. Among the ports that DP World would control are ports in New York City and New Orleans.
An almost silent move on January 24, 2006, signaled this coming decision, when MonkeyBone nominated David Sanborn to be the new Maritime Administrator. Sanborn is currently Director of Operations for Europe and Latin America for DP World. Wow.
Considering that Daddy Bush has always had hefty ties with the Arab oil world, it's not really surprising that MonkeyBone would approve these dealings. I mean, you'd have to be incredibly naive to think that DP World has absolutely no ties to UAE oil industries. I wouldn't be surprised at all if DP World also had links with the Bush clan that not even mainstream media has considered.
Am I saying that MonkeyBone doesn't really give a damn about his politically tone-deaf move? Absolutely! He's not in this for the American people. He's in this for the only people who matter to him: The Unitified Cronies of Bushlandia.
So shove that up your asses, Middle Amurhka. He's your devil.
02.21.06 :: geeked edition Check this: a classic 1993 Star Trek: The Next Generation pinball machine. Just look at the photos of it. Isn't it beautiful in all it's plastic, flashing, flipping, clanging, buzzing, geeky glory? I tell you, I'd like to tilt this baby a few times. So someone out there who really loves the Loba, buy it for me.
Then you can buy me a house to go around it...
02.20.06 :: repealed edition Most of the time I don't really know which end is up. But there are two things of which I am absolutely certain. The number one thing? My father is a very smart man. Book smart and real world smart. He made a prediction a few years ago and has stood by it ever since he first said it.
The other thing of which I am absolutely certain? George W. Bush is a modern-day Caligula in the truest and worst sense of the comparison.
How does Certainty 2 tie in with Certainty 1? This is how. See, a few years ago, my father made the comment that he thought MonkeyBone was the modern day reincarnation of Caligula. He also stated that he wouldn't be surprised if MonkeyBone repealed term limits and declared himself ruler for life.
Surprise, surprise that H.J. Res. 24 proposes just this: repealing the 22nd Amendment, which limits a president to two terms in the White House. I guess since the God-Ordained Plutocracy has perfected their ability to steal a presidential election (twice in a row! Brilliant!), they figure the next step is to get rid of that nasty law that will keep them from using this ability again and again.
Will this pass? Gods, I hope not. But ballsy of them to propose it, no? And here we thought that the Constitutional change they wanted was the ban on gay marriage. That's about as important to the current administration as Roe vs. Wade was to the Alito hearings. See, we focus on the wrong things...and that's how the current administration is able to cram it right up our asses.
So repeal 22 and we're stuck with MonkeyBone for life? Perhaps. Then again, Rome only put up with Caligula's madness for 4 years...
Gracias to Tex for dropping this Presidents' Day bombshell.
02.16.06 :: thank heaven for "little girls" edition What the hell is wrong with Maryland Comptroller William Donald Schaefer? I mean, it's one thing to watch someone with discrete appreciation. Everyone's done it, from clergy to congresspeople. But Schaefer gets a big ole WHATHAFU for his Objectification Ogle. This was even grosser than the Bob Dole/Britney Spears Pepsi commercial.
Tangential rant: How come in this version of the commercial, Bob Dole says, "Easy, boy"? I swear, the first time I saw it, he said "Down, boy."
Anyone have an answer? Anyone? Anyone?
02.15.06 :: when toupees attack edition Breaking News: Onlookers were stunned to witness this moment, captured by a brave photojournalist, of renowned chef Wolfgang Puck trying to save actor Tony Curtis from a savage attack from a REALLY BAD TOUPEE. Wife Jill Curtis watches on in either shock or embarrassment for her husband.
(Yeah, I'm painfully swamped at work right now, but damn if I could resist posting this after I saw it...)
02.14.06 :: birdshot edition Okay, so this is most definitely not funny. Serious question: If Whittington died from this birdshot in his heart, could Cheney be charged with involuntary manslaughter?
02.14.06 :: cheney's got a gun edition That's just a delightful pun on a a great Aerosmith song. One of many jabs taken, at Deadeye Dick's expense in this article on his hunting ordeal this weekend.
And just because it's too damn funny, here's David Letterman's Top 10 Dick Cheney Excuses:
10. "Heart palpitation caused trigger finger to spasm."
9. "Wanted to get the Iraq mess off the front page."
8. "Not enough Jim Beam."
7. "Trying to stop the spread of bird flu."
6. "I love to shoot people."
5. "Guy was making cracks about my lesbian daughter."
4. "I thought the guy was trying to go 'gay cowboy' on me."
3. "Excuse? I hit him, didn't I?"
2. "Until Democrats approve medicare reform, we have to make some tough choices for the elderly."
1. "Made a bet with Gretzky's wife."
Is it a laughing matter that Cheney shot a 78-year-old man in the face, landing the poor guy in intensive care? Hell no. He could have killed the guy. It's very serious, especially since Cheney and his whole party are in a mutual handjob relationship with the NRA...you know, the "pry it from my cold, dead hand" regime. The "guns don't kill people; people kill people" people. Well, one of your people almost did just that. What's your excuse for that? Not only that, but it was one of your people shooting without the proper permit that he was supposed to have. A stupid $7 permit...but why should the vice president be bothered by such proletariat piffle as that?
It's funny, I suppose, since it's just another instance of this secretive regime covering up the blunders and sins of their own kind. Another cover-up revealed...and you can only take so many of those before you snap...and laughter is probably the preferential path of snap-itude in this instance.
02.13.06 :: satisfied police force edition I bet Spotsylvania has the most...satisfied police force on the East Coast. I love how they justify the police officers getting off with these prostitutes by stating that "[m]ost prostitutes are careful not to say anything incriminating, so sexual contact is necessary."
Right. Takes the police epithet "pig" to a whole new level...
02.13.06 :: deep sea-ted fears edition Yesterday, the Discovery Channel ran a special 2-hour episode of Mythbusters all about "busting" or confirming the myths put forth about sharks in the movie Jaws. I thought it a little odd since it was originally a "Shark Week" special, but I figured they were just reruning the episode.
Now I realize that it was probably aired in honor of Peter Benchley, author of the book and screenplay for this tale of oceanic trauma, who journeyed to Davey Jones' locker this weekend.
02.12.06 :: deadeye edition Yes, dear snoggees, it's true: Guns don't shoot people; dumbass vice presidents shoot people. So much for the NRA inviting Deadeye Dick Cheney to speak at their events.
I think the most telling piece from this article is the following:
"Fortunately, the vice president has got a lot of medical people around him and so they were right there and probably more cautious than we would have been," she said. "The vice president has got an ambulance on call, so the ambulance came."
And on-call ambulance and "a lot of medical people"?This guy's one beat away from total coronary meltdown. And then what, that gimpy little MonkeyBone would really be in charge? Oh wait, I forgot about KKKarl Rove.
02.10.06 :: leaky edition Scooter Libby says he was told to leak information to reporters about Dumb Quixote's "Weapons of Mass Destruction" crusade.
What wonderful news.
02.10.06 :: jaded edition Damn, I'm jaded. The very first thought that popped into my head when I read about these teenagers being forced to rob banks had nothing to do with Patty Hearst. It was complete disbelief akin to the initial pang of skepticism when I first read about Marion Barry claiming he was robbed in his own kitchen.
Something just doesn't sit right about this. I hope that I'm wrong and that these kids are really innocent...but innocence of youth is just something that I don't believe in anymore. I think that died the day I read about this incident. The youngest kid was 13. Another kid told police that each time he beat Young in the head with a shovel handle, he jumped back so that blood wouldn't splatter his clothes.
Piggy would probably have been roasted alive for dinner if Lord of the Flies took place in the modern day.
02.10.06 :: root of the problem edition Still here. Busy little Loba, but still here. I've been marinating on this contemplation for a few days, debating whether or not I want to say anything. But it just keeps bothering me. The whole riotous, murderous debacle over cartoons of Mohammed. Muslims are killing people and causing massive destruction because someone drew caricatures of their religion's prophet.
Now, there have been some pretty offensive things done with Christian imagery. There's the portrait of the Virgin Mary that incorporates elephant dung. And nothing has yet topped Piss Christ, which is a photograph of a crucifix submerged in a jar of the artist's own urine.
Admittedly, I find both these things offensive as I am sure thousands of others have found them. Did I take to the streets with murderous anger? No. Neither did anyone else that I can recall. The most that I can recall are attacks against the actual pieces of art.
Christians used to torture, hang, or burn people at the stake for heresy. Christianity evolved. It still has a way to go, but it's getting there.
Is it possible for Islam to make the same evolutionary progression? Or are the tenets of the religion such that this is what it is: fanatical and oftentimes violent?
02.07.06 :: prosperity gospel edition Hmm. I must have missed the verse in the Bible that reads, "Seek ye first your new Hummer and million-dollar mansion." That's apparently the prime verse in the Bible of those who follow the prosperity gospel. It's an entire tenet of religion in this country in which the pastors preach that those who are part of God's holy flock should expect to be rewarded with earthly riches. Guess they're also missing that whole messy "Lay up your treasures in heaven" verse, too.
This whole thing just supports my longstanding belief that no one truly represents Christianity; they bastardize the Bible to fit their own agendas. So rather than abandoning their sinful lust for material things, pastors of the prosperity gospel decided that they would make up biblical justification for this lust (and they most definitely had to make things up since all over the Bible are verses preaching against this very behavior).
I only mention this here because I found it disturbingly interesting that Coretta Scott King's funeral will be presided over by a minister who preaches the prosperity gospel. This is undeniably a symbolic finger flip to the message so earnestly believed and taught by Dr. King. He taught against the corruption of coveting material things. He did not lay up his treasures here; he set them to use to further a cause he believed was theologically jusifiable: the civil rights movement. When he won the Nobel Peace Prize, he donated his $50,000 prize to this movement. Before he was assassinated, he was quoted as sayings things such as:
The profit motive, when it is the sole basis of an economic system, encourages a cutthroat competition and selfish ambition that inspires men to be more concerned about making a living than making a life.
Middle-class values stress the importance of career and money. These were not the values which led to the civil rights movement; these are not the values which lead to positive social transformation.
We must rapidly begin the shift from a "thing"-oriented society to a "person"-oriented society. When machines and computers, profit motives and property rights are considered more important than people, the giant triplets of racism, materialism and militarism are incapable to being conquered.
Do these sound like the actions and words of a man who would ever support the prosperity gospel? Are we to believe that Coretta did not value the same beliefs taught by her husband? Then why have this money changer preside over her funeral?
02.07.06 :: powerful gift edition This is still just so amazing to me. The woman who received the first partial face transplant has made her identity known. Isabelle Dinoire is the recipient. At this point, she doesn't seem to be able to completely control her new lips, however, she said she can feel them as well as her nose. Check out this French news site, which has clips of her speaking at the press conference.
02.03.06 :: wam! pow! zing! edition From the discarded White House publicity shots: photo of MonkeyBone and his cronies on their way to a staff meeting. Haha. The sad thing? I hardly had to work at all on MonkeyBone or Big Time.
02.03.06 :: golden tunes edition Obviously, I'm not in a serious news mood. I hate politics right now and reading the news makes me cranky.
So instead I present to you Meet the Golden Girls. Click on the song titles on the "back cover" image to hear the songs referenced. Sad truth about your dear Loba? I can describe to you each episode from which these songs came. Shh. I love The Golden Girls...but that's just our little secret, okay?
02.03.06 :: bussing edition Sometimes cruel observation is so funny it almost makes you pee yourself at work. Once you're finished reading the breakdown of the movie, don't forget to check out the shwinky Rosie montage.
02.03.06 :: what's the matter with kansas? edition Wow. I'm so glad that my grandmother had the forethought to leave this state. Their attorney general is just crackish.
02.03.06 :: uncommonly stupid edition Common sense is dead in America, and the lawyers of this country have helped in its murder. Case in point: A Louisiana man is suing Apple because he claims iPods can cause hearing loss in people who use them.
I would never make it as a lawyer because I would have thrown this guy right out of my office. Of course iPods--or any music player--can cause hearing damage! If you're sticking an earphone INSIDE YOUR EAR and playing it either at excessively loud decibels or for extended periods of time, do you really think that nothing is going to happen to your hearing?
This lawsuit is comparable to suing Blockbuster because repeated viewing of rented videotapes from their store caused your VCR to wear out and break. Or suing Playboy because you went blind (don't pretend you don't know what Loba's talking about).
02.03.06 :: abhorrent edition Mahatma Gandhi once said, "The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated." So what does this say about our country?
In similar news, MonkeyBone pulled his head out of his ass earlier this morning and saw his shadow, so we have 2 more years of ineptitude, treachery, and warmongering.
01.31.06 :: perfect lie edition He had everything in place, same as always: token family of dead American soldier. Token Iraqi (woman, of course...they're worth far more than an Iraqi male, especially when not wearing a burqa). Token cheerleading squad of bitches formerly known as the Republican party. Token reference to September 11, not even 10 minutes into the hour-long lie that he calls the "State of the Union." Familiar lies about how he's going to concentrate our resources on things like alternatative fuels (never mind that Exxon just announced a $39 billion profit, thanks in part to his administration's lips permanently attached to their huge...talents). Bumbling grasp of basic grammar (nu-cle-ar...not nukular, for Christ's sake!). Lies about how he is cutting "excess spending" in the government, when the truth is he's really gutting important programs that once were succeeding in revitalizing American cities so that he can continue his crusades on foreign soil (and, yes, I have first-hand knowledge of this claim; unlike the president, I don't spew bullshit).
I hate George W. Bush. I'm at a loss for any other words. I hate the lies that spew from his mouth...lies that Middle America accept as truth because they come from the mouth of the president. As though that's supposed to mean something. He's not sacrosanct. He's manipulative and treacherous, same as the rest of his regime.
The Democrats did well not to stand at every presumptuous pause. They did well not to applaud his smirking chimp face. They would do even better to come up with a better alternative...although at this point, I think a camel shit would be preferable to him.
I'm going to read some fiction that I'll actually enjoy.
01.31.06 :: disappointed edition I don't think Alito's confirmation is anything to be happy about. I think it's just another link in the dismal chain of MonkeyBone's miserable reign.
01.31.06 :: scents of justice edition So Zicam has settled with those who sued them after they lost their sense of smell. But they claim that their product didn't cause the damage for which they are paying plaintiffs a total settlement of $12 million. They're still paying the settlement though. But they don't believe in it.
Wha?
01.31.06 :: travel advisory edition Not that I have ever wanted to go to Utah (I don't have my special Mormon underpants, so I don't think I'd be welcome there anyway), but I most definitely will erase Randolph, Utah, from any future trip options. Almost 100 percent approval for MonkeyBone? Apparently, nature may abhor a vacuum but not Randolph, where the vacuum thrives between the ears of its residents.
I do think, however, that a quote from this article should be adopted by the GOP as their new party slogan: "I enjoy pushing cows, chasing girls and shooting guns. I'm a Republican."
Nothing else need be said...
01.31.06 :: breakfast edition One of my absolute favorite films is Breakfast at Tiffany's. I love Audrey Hepburn, and this is my favorite of her films (never mind the god awful Mickey Rooney character, who I really wish could be erased completely from the film). Yes, the plot strayed significantly in parts from Truman Capote's story. But it just doesn't matter. With Audrey as Holly Golightly, this was the perfect script with the perfect ending, Cat and all.
Of course, I have been holding out on buying the DVD. I figured that, surely, Paramount would release a special edition of this movie. It's a quintessential classic from when films were wonderful. So I have been patiently waiting for such a release. And then the notice from Amazon.com came: special edition release of Breakfast at Tiffany's, scheduled for February 7, 2006. At first, Amazon didn't list any special features, which boiled my blood a bit. But now they are listed. They sound delightful. I've already pre-ordered the DVD. I love Amazon, almost as much as I love Audrey.
01.31.06 :: departure of a king edition Rest well. And please apologize to Dr. King for how badly we have botched his dream.
01.30.06 :: sudoku edition Still here. No time to blog. Must Sudoku.
Well, it's not really that bad...and I am actually working. It's just instead of turning to the news to fill my free moments, I keep turning to a Sudoku puzzle. I don't think it's going to be as addictive as some of the word games I've discovered through places such as Shockwave.com...but it is pretty cool.
01.28.06 I remember the Challenger explosion so vividly. It's probably one of the earliest events that I truly remember acknowledging as historically significant.
01.27.06 :: 250 edition Alles Gute zum Geburtstag, Herr Mozart.
01.26.06 :: tuesdays with marley edition I added the book Marley and Me to my wish list not long after I lost Jodie. People deal with loss in different ways. I read through mine. This was one of the books I found when I was researching books on pet loss. I didn't think that I would want to read it at the time, but I knew that I would want to read it at some point. From this article, it sounds like I'm not the only person to feel this way about the world's worst dog...
01.26.06 :: by any other name edition The City of Old Town Alexandria used to be one of my favorite places to visit. That has all changed after seeing the Web site saveoldtown.org. See, the City of Alexandria is trying to build a homeless shelter that will help rehabilitate mentally ill individuals. The residents of Old Town are vehemently fighting this decision. Seems they don't want crazy people coming into town and ruining their retail options and causing their million-dollar property values to plummet. They hide this truth in statements like they fear for their children's safety or they don't want the city to destroy the historical value of the firehouse being converted. I'm sure this would not be a concern if the firehouse was being converted into bourgeois multimillion-dollar real estate.
See, that's exactly what's happening to Chestnut Lodge. Once a psychiatric hospital/home for those with severe mental illnesses such as schizophrenia, it is now in the process of undergoing a $45 million renovation into housing for the mentally and financially stable.
We take away places that help the mentally ill and we refuse to give them another place to go...all because of location, location, location. Funny how none of the arguments posed by Old Town residents ever acknowledge that they are fighting against housing for human beings. Flesh and blood, just like them. People who, though suffering from mental illness, are still people. Apparently, though, if you have a diagnosed mental illness, you don't qualify for that title any more or for the basic amenities that go along with that classification.
As far as I'm concerned, if the residents of Old Town win their battle against the shelter, they can shove King Street right up their asses.
01.26.06 :: careful what you wish for edition MonkeyBone said that he wanted to bring democracy to the Middle East. That's exactly what happened yesterday: a democratic vote in Palestine, which seems to have been dominated by Hamas.
Anyone out there ever read "The Monkey's Paw"? Be very, very careful what you wish for, particularly if you're an underqualified "world leader" pushing for things of such tumultuous design.
01.26.06 :: slow response edition Okay, so it was 1 year ago that I first read about the carcinogenic Teflon issue. So why is it that it's taken this whole year to finally rule on the fate of the Teflon chemical? Even worse, why are they not going to stop using this chemical completely until 2015? Perhaps they're hoping that all the opponents to perfluorooctanoic acid will be dead by then, and then they won't have to get rid of it. Good luck on waiting that long...this stuff is even in polar bears, for crying out loud.
01.25.06 :: iRan edition
I had a weird idea this afternoon for a spoof of the iPod silhouette. I don't even know what inspired the thought, but it made me laugh while I was fixing a database glitch, so I decided that I would figure out how to do it. Here's the final result. I don't exactly like the hair outline, but it's the right silhouette for the person. I'm not going to offer any further explanation. I just hope that my snoggees share my offbeat new wave humor...or at least can follow mine...
01.25.06 :: take the blame edition I never really thought that much about Gary Williams when I was a UMCP student. I knew that he was the basketball coach, which to me meant he was a man of no importance to my academic pursuits. Hearing him take responsibility for Chris McCray's ineligibility...that makes me think even less of him. This guy's a college senior! He knows the drill. He also knows the import placed on the campus worship of athletes...and he thought he could push that envelope even further.
College is supposed to be a place of academic pursuit. But this country has turned colleges into Arenas of the Eminent Athlete. I wrote a thesis on academic financial assistance when I was an undergraduate, and the things I learned during my research mortified me. Athletes rule the school, literally. Funding focuses on them. Corporate sponsors focus on them. The collegiate universe focuses on them. And what does that mean? It means that felons are relegated to demigod status. Don't believe me? This article discusses how three of the four senior basketball players have been arrested for one reason or another.
McCray lost his eligibility because he's not there for the degree; he's there for the game.
01.24.06 :: double dump edition What do you get when you combine two crap stations into one? We're soon going to find out when UPN and WB merge into one giant ball of suck that will be known as CW. "Crappy Waste" is my vote for this acronym...
01.24.06 :: solomon's mind edition Damn, I am going to seriously miss Sandra Day O'Connor. I think we're all going to miss her, more than many may realize right now. But she is going to be severely missed...for many, many years.
01.24.06 :: inversely proportionate edition A recently released study of male bats shows that big-balled bats boast baby brains. Apparently, the bat species where the females are more promiscuous, the males have larger testicles and tiny brains. The species with faithful females have males with smaller testicles and larger brains.
Of course in these species, the male bats drive SUVs to compensate.
So I guess this study proves that size does matter...it's just not the size everyone thought it would be.
01.24.06 :: ineligible edition Maryland Terp Chris McCray has been booted from the team because of low grades. He wasn't able to maintain the 2.0 GPA required for all athletes. Wow, a whole 2.0. That's bare minimum as it is...just show up for classes and be able to spell your own name, and you're pretty much guaranteed a 2.0. His mother is laying part of the blame on the school. She stated, "They make sure he goes to practice; they should have made sure his grades and things were straight for him to be eligible."
And should they have also wiped his ass for him, too? See, that's part of the deal when you reach college; you learn to grow up and do things for yourself and take responsibility. But obviously this is something that the UMCP athletic department does not foster in their players. If it was, McCray would have been suspended from the team after his August arrest.
01.24.06 :: picture perfect edition If the photos of MonkeyBone with Jack Abramoff are nothing more than "the president taking a picture in a photo line," then why not release them? Why hide them? What's up with that? And how long would the God-Ordained Plutocracy allow a Democrat to hold on to such photos before they were screaming about how the Democrat in question was trying to hide felonious actions?
01.24.06 :: innocence shot edition A 7-year-old girl was shot this morning at her daycare in Germantown, Maryland. It happened when a gun being carried by an 8-year-old classmate discharged in his backpack.
01.23.06 :: iraq's other body count edition Beyond the number of American soldiers who have been killed in Iraq, there is another number that is steadily spiraling to frighteningly high proportions: the number of wounded. Severely wounded. Amputees and brain-damaged soldiers who not only will never be able to return to duty, but will never be able to return to their previous lives or their future plans. Soldiers who won't be pursuing their dreams because they are too busy relearning how to walk, how to speak, how to function at sometimes a basic level.
We are irrevocably altering an entire generation because of this war. The repercussions are so overwhelming on so many levels.
01.23.06 :: thank you edition I saw a preview for this movie this weekend, and I can't wait until it's released. It looks like the kind of sick, twisted humor that so appeals to me...
01.23.06 :: terminal edition It is now official: The West Wing will end at the end of this season.
I admit, I stopped watching the show after Aaron Sorkin left and John "I helped destroy ER and now I'm going to bring my shmaltzy, hyper-emotional, no-plot writing style to the White House" Wells took over. It was frightening, the break-neck speed in which The West Wing deteriorated after Wells came on board. I'm honestly surprised that it lasted this long with him at the helm.
Still, no matter how bad the show became, it was still better than the pathetic reality of our current administration. I think that was the worst part: a fictional president with a terminal physical illness was superior and preferable to the reality of this country's mentally DOA chimp-in-chief.
Just as it's time for the real administration to end, the fictional adminstration of Jed Bartlett has reached its end. Unlike the real adminstration, they accept that it is time for them to step gracefully from the limelight. They leave respected, mourned, and admired for a fairly successful turn in the White House. Sadly, none of these things can be applied to the real administration.
01.20.06 :: no bones about it edition According to my daily Star Trek calendar, today would have been DeForest Kelley's birthday. Bones McCoy was my favorite TOS character and one of my top five favorite Trek characters. DeForest was one of the guests at my first Trek convention.
Here, in celebration of a delightful actor and a great character, is a list of Bones quotes, for your edification and enjoyment.
01.20.06 :: fear the statues edition I think I've spoken more about my alma mater this week than I have since I graduated. I just couldn't resist posting this link to conceptual designs for the upcoming Fear the Turtle statue campaign.
I still think that "Fear the Turtle" is silly and something I would never support (it began as a way to raise funds for the athletes...yeah, because they're so financially deprived). I still hate the Ferrigno turtle on which the statue design is based, but I actually like a few of these artist renderings. I might have to pop up to campus to see them, especially Jestudo, which is a whimsically smart take on Testudo's name and makes perfect use of our garish state flag. Kertle also looks like a cute tribute to Jim Henson, one of our most famous alumni, as does "Fear the Author," which honors Edgar Allan Poe.
01.20.06 :: moby on the thames edition Okay, so maybe it isn't a great white whale, but not even Captain Ahab would expect to find a whale swimming the Thames. For those who want to partake in Whale Watch 2006, check out this Whale Watch blog.
01.20.06 :: potomac fever edition There's a page on the White House Web site about Potomac Fever, a condition that most policy wonks in this city have in abundance. It's funny, though, that an administration riddled with this disease would have a page dedicated to it. It is described as "extreme disorientation, memory loss, and occasional delusions of grandeur." King MonkeyBone must have a terminal case of this disease, because his delusions of grandeur are permanent.
The other thing that I found amusing is that, listed under Prevention/Treatments, they recommend reading remarks from past presidents, including Theodore Roosevelt. President Roosevelt uttered one of my favorite presidential quotes...a quote that is most likely considered anathema to the current administration: "To announce that there must be no criticism of the president, or that we are to stand by the president, right or wrong, is not only unpatriotic and servile, but is morally treasonable to the American public."
Doesn't really sound like something that MonkeyBone would want his trolls or his constituents reading, does it?
01.20.06 :: freedom edition On January 20, 1981, Ronald Reagan was being sworn into office for his first term as president as 52 hostages finally made their way home. They had been held captive for 444 days.
01.20.06 :: ailing elephant edition Toni the Elephant suffers severe arthritis. The D.C. National Zoo's solution? Begin discussing euthanasia. Guess they want to get an early start on their annual death toll.
It's too bad that Leni Riefenstahl passed away. She could have really helped the National Zoo with some PR work...
01.20.06 :: waste of edition Eleven years. More than $21 million. Absolutely nothing to show for it but 474 pages of legalese and an allegation, brought after Cisneros already pleaded guilty.
Since there is such a glut of lawyers in this country, can I find one to sue this bastard for wasting $21 million of our tax money on absolutely nothing? Because I'd really like that. The only thing that I wouldn't like is that the lawsuit would just be making a different lawyer rich.
01.18.06 :: tangential turtle edition Another thought on UMCP: I hate the latest iteration of Testudo. They began introducing him when I was there earning my degree. I thought it was the ugliest thing I had ever seen, and I couldn't believe that something so hideous could ever replace the more pleasant Testudos of the past. I'm so very saddened to see that this is exactly what happened. The new Testudo looks like some steroid-pumped, mono-browed, jock turtle. I don't understand why they couldn't have just kept that one where he belongs: with the sports thugs. You know, the ones who actually think it's cool to wear shirts that read, "Fear the Turtle." The only turtle to fear is the one that looks like he had some horrible The Fly-type accident with Lou Ferrigno. But I don't think that's the type of fear they want to instill, is it?
Anyway, they could have at least left the happier, more intelligent-looking Testudo as the mascot for the smart kids. We might be a minority, even on college campuses, but ignoring us is discrimination, dammit!
Bring back Happy Testudo!
01.18.06 :: getting over on the turtle edition Don't even ask how I ended up finding this, but it cracked me up: Someone is auctioning on eBay their still valid University of Maryland parking permit. Starting bid is $1.
Anyone who served in Testudo's Army knows the misery of on-campus parking...something that never made sense to me since the majority of students at the campus were commuters. Attending UMCP built discipline within me...the discipline of knowing that if I didn't get to campus before 8 a.m. (regardless of when my first class was), I was going to be parking in Lot Bumfuck and hiking the length of the campus (which always seemed to be uphill, no matter which way you were walking). And gods save you from ever encountering the Ticket Gestapo. I swear, I think College Park hires as "meter maids" only embittered college dropouts who harbor pure loathing toward those who are actually making it where they failed. These are some nasty-ass people. And merciless.
So best of luck to the fellow Arts & Humanities grad who's selling their parking permit on eBay. As Bill Clinton once said, "I feel your pain."
01.17.06 :: stupidity fronts edition Wha? Okay, now I know I'm about to sound old. I also never thought that I would find anything more ridiculous than spinning rims. But grills for your teeth...that's too ridiculous to qualify as ridiculous. We breed decadence in this society like standing water breeds malaria. And it's just as deadly and dangerous a disease. We kill each other for less than $30,000 worth of dental bling, so the question is who's going to be the first gunned down for their fronts?
01.17.06 :: day break edition Loba had a holiday yesterday. It was quite delightful and peaceful. Just the way to spend a free day away from work. Now I sit back at work, grooving to the greatest Christmas present in the world. All I can say is I wish I had invested into Apple.
So I read this article on how high school students are out-of-control blogging. Like, totally stupid blogging. I know that some people believe that "common sense is for common people," but I'd rather be commonly alive than uncommonly dead. That's a major reason why I don't use my real name or anyone else's real names on this site. It's why I've never pinpointed where I live or where I work.
It's also why I don't post regular photos of myself (hey, if you can recognize me after seeing me as a Bajoran or a Japanime character, more power to you, snoggee). Plus, I learned the hard way a while ago what sort of creepy characters lurk out there...including the kind that lurks only a few cubicles away. People can be really creepy and you don't even know that until it's too late.
Careful is the key, snoggees. Okay? Okay.
01.13.06 :: donner party edition Wow, two cannibalism editions in one morning. Must mean something. Apparently, the Donners were not party to the human feast that bears their name. Does that mean we have to call it something else?
01.13.06 :: grease the squeak edition After a week of back-and-forth telephone and e-mail arguments, let the record show the score card as follows: Sin-gular = 0 / LobaBlanca = 1.
Yes, I squeaked until I got my way. They removed the charges for equipment that I either never received or had returned, "as an act of good faith." Whatever. I shouldn't have had to squeak the way I did; just further proof that customer service is in the toilet in this country.
Anyway, I was so delighted by my victory that I went to Border's during my lunch break, thinking that I would peruse their bargain section. However, when I walked in, I was struck by a sign: They were playing the soundtrack to Wicked. So I used that to justify purchasing Wicked: The Grimmerie, which I have been lusting after ever since I first learned it was being released. It is as delightful as I had hoped it would be, and will be proudly added to my collection of musical books.
01.13.06 :: real threat edition Great. A real nuclear threat on the horizon instead of the made-up threat of Iraq. And here we sit with a leader who can't even pronounce the word "nuclear."
01.13.06 :: valley girl review edition Like ohmigod! This movie review of Tristan and Isolde is like the funniest thing I've read all day! How freaking funny is Ann Hornaday?
01.13.06 :: green eggs and ham edition Um. Taiwanese scientists have bred three pigs that glow green in the dark. They did it by mixing some jellyfish genetic material in with the pig embryos (I say this as if it were as simple as mixing chocolate syrup with milk!). In light, the pigs have a green tint to their skin and eyes.
Dr. Seuss would be so proud to hear that half of his fantastical breakfast is now a reality.
01.13.06 :: dinner guest edition A little light reading for you dear snoggees, on this lovely Friday the 13th...a followup article on the trials and tribulations of Armin Miewes, a German man who was convicted of cannibalism back in 2003, I believe.
Eat up! And don't tell me it tastes funny...
01.13.06 :: darwinian arrest edition Note to future robbers/killers: When you know that you've committed a horrible crime and the police are starting to close in on you to the point where they are broadcasting your image during the nightly news, don't roll into the nearest police station--wearing the same clothes you're wearing in the surveillance tape!!--and ask why "my face is on TV." See, that's just stupid on top of heartless and violent.
01.12.06 :: your body, my choice edition I heard something on the radio this morning that nearly made me drive off the road. Apparently, Virginia Delegate Robert G. Marshall wants to pass legislation to ban single women from having children through artificial insemination.
Obviously, this is a Republican attempt to stop lesbians from having children (it's proposed by a Virginian Republican as an addendum to another ban on same sex marriage). But, hello! The farther reaching ramification of this is that, if passed, this law will take away an intrinsic right of all single women, regardless of sexual orientation. How many single welfare mothers are out there, dipping into the finances because they keep pumping out children the "old-fashioned way"? Basically, they're getting government-funded approval because, in many cases, they refuse to keep their legs together.
Yet women who have thought long and hard and have made a choice (and not a cheap choice) about their own body and their own life and want a child...they won't be allowed under this proposed law unless they have a husband. Did you get that one? Unless they have a husband. Would they also have to have written permission from the husband as proof that their master has allowed them to get pregnant?
I find the very principle of this proposed law abhorrent. I find it equally abhorrent that the only mention I could find in our local newspaper about this is a tiny blurb under "Social Legislation" on this General Assembly update.
01.12.06 :: sympathy for the crackhead? edition I don't feel sympathy or sadness for Marion Barry. He's a has-been crackhead who has been given preferential treatment for his entire career simply because he's good at pretending to be a politician. Simple fact is he's nothing more than a street thug who was somehow able to bullshit his way into office. He represents the face of failure and negativity in the nation's Capitol City. How do the residents of D.C. ever expect the general opinion of them and their city to change when they keep re-electing to office someone who is better suited for back alley crack deals than political machinations? And all he can do is blame everyone else for his own fucked-up choices ("The bitch done set me up!").
D.C. residents have played enabler to this junkie for too long. It's his choice to snort, but those who continue to vote for him are just letting him know that it's all good, Mr. B. You just keep on tooting! Do they think they're getting one over on someone? The only one they're getting over on is themselves; no one is ever going to take seriously the demands of a city that repeatedly thinks it's all right to return to power an unreformed and unrepentant druggie.
Bottom line is as long as he's the one they choose to represent them, they will continue to be seen by the nation as lying crackheads, too.
01.11.06 :: ironic lunchtime reading edition I usually don't eat lunch. I bring fruit and yogurt to work and I forage throughout the day. Sometimes, though, I need meat. So today it's Kung Pao chicken and a lovely article on employee tendency to eat lunch at their desks.
Where's Alanis when you need her?
01.11.06 :: about face edition Not that there was ever any doubt that I would not be voting for Robert Ehrlich during the next gubernatorial election, but reading about all his sudden budget approvals have really solidified my Democratic preference. It also shows to me how stupid Ehrlich thinks Maryland voters are.
01.11.06 :: got my eye on you edition Holy birth defect, Batman! An Oregon woman claims that her cat gave birth to a one-eyed kitten. Apparently, the kitten suffered from holoprosencephaly. Sadly little "Cy" (short, of course for Cyclops) died after only 1 day.
The photo looks convincing enough. I just can't help but wonder, though: Why was the kitten's eye already open if it was only a day old? Am I too jaded? I always thought I wasn't jaded enough...
01.11.06 :: ignorant vandals edition Not even my new home county is safe from stupid teens who have nothing better to do with their time than vandalize property. Instead of breaking down doors, these vandals like to deface churches and schools with racial slurs and symbols. What the hell is wrong with this generation?
01.11.06 :: gorgeous damage edition So "Gorgeous Prince George's" now has thugs roaming its streets, battering down people's doors, just for the helluvit. Of course, that's just for the time being. Once they get bored with just breaking down doors, I wonder what their fertile felonious minds will come up with next?
01.11.06 :: white spots edition A leopard can't change its spots...and apparently, Marion Barry can't keep his nose out of the cocaine. Now didn't Loba speculate that Mr. B's recent "robbery" was probably not on the up and up? So here's my theory: He was trying to score and the dealers punked him by taking his money and running. See, they probably thought that he wouldn't be stupid enough to report them to the police. Guess they misunderestimated Barry, now didn't they?
So here's my question: Why does D.C. think they deserve statehood? How many times have they voted this old crack whore into some political office? How many times has he been busted for one crime or another? I think Congress should pass a law stating that D.C. can't even MENTION their desire for statehood until they've been Barry-free for a minimum of 10 years.
01.10.06 :: spider besider edition I was looking through some digital photos that I snapped a while ago but never had a chance to properly peruse, and I found this photo of the funkiest spider I have ever seen. It spun its web right outside the front entrance of my apartment building. It was huge. And yellow. And, maybe it's just my overactive imagination, but does that not look like some sort of evil death head on its thorax? I looked it up online and its apparently a black and yellow argiope.
Whatever the hell it is, I just hope it doesn't come back this year because it doesn't matter what language, je déteste des araignées.
01.10.06 :: spittin' mad edition Hey kids, it's all right to spit at someone when you're angry. Look at one of the Amurhakin gods and his piss-poor "punishment" for spitting on someone. $17,000 fine? What the hell is that to someone lavished with multi-million dollar contracts? And just reading about his record since becoming a professional athlete...what the hell is wrong with us as a country that we not only endure such behavior but raise it to the level of admiration and hero worship? If Taylor had a real job, his attitude and behavior would have been tolerated perhaps a few months before he found himself jobless and quite possibly on his way to jail.
Who knows though. Perhaps if he did have a real job, he wouldn't be the amoral asshole he and so many other "professional athletes" (oxymoron supreme!) have become.
01.10.06 :: g.i. no edition So I guess this is the final attempt at averting the mandatory draft. But who wins out? The recruits who don't have the mental acuity it takes to be a soldier? The other soldiers in the same unit who have to share the burden of a Category IV soldier's ineptitude? I'm sorry, but the last place I would want to be stuck serving with an incompetent coworker is in a situation like Iraq. Yet these people, who before were categorically denied access to the military, are now being welcomed with open arms.
The new Army motto should be changed from "Army of One" to "Category IV Soldiers Led by a Category IV President."
01.10.06 :: alito alert edition I think we'd be stupid to focus on Roe vs. Wade in our questioning of Samuel Alito. I think the key is in his predisposition toward expanding presidential power. I think that's what MonkeyBone is trying to do: build up support on the Supreme Court for his wishes to just trample all over whomever, whenever, however. Roe vs. Wade is a tangential thought to this fact, particularly at a time when MonkeyBone already thinks that he is above the law...
Speaking of which, when is someone going to start investigating his recent lawless spying tactic? All the friggin' lawyers in this country, you'd think they would be climbing over each other to take down MonkeyBone. Although, I'd have to say I think Team MonkeyBone plays far dirtier than even most lawyers want to play...
01.09.06 :: customer service out of order edition So explain to me why I'm expected to pay a nearly $200 cell phone bill because Sin-gular Wireless sucks ass? Remember my rant from 12.31.05? Remember how Sin-gular shipped my first new phone to the wrong address and it was returned to them? Remember how they are still charging me for the first shipment? Remember how they're also still charging me for the car charger that I returned, even though I have FedEx records showing that they received it on December 13? Remember how they're also telling me that I won't receive credit for these charges for at least another two billing cycles? Remember how when I said I wasn't going to pay for equipment I don't have, the customer service manager told me that Sin-gular would then have the right to suspend my account? Remember how I came so very close to telling the manager to shove her headset up her ass?
I hate Sin-gular with a burning passion. My dealings with them since their takeover of AT&T Wireless have all been of this pathetic caliber. All I want is decent customer service. I don't understand why this is such an impossible request. True, Sin-gular has more polite customer service agents. I always suspected that AT&T Wireless hired former members of Hitler's Youth to staff their customer service lines. However, I never had problems with equipment receipt or billing.
So heed my warning, snoggees: Beware Sin-gular Wireless. They suck. SUCK. S-U-C-K. I'll be damned if I stay with them after my current soul-selling contract is up. And I'll be damned if I ever recommend them to anyone.
01.09.06 :: wakes imagination edition Tip of the mask to Phantom of the Opera, which will surpass Cats as the longest running show in Broadway history with tonight's performance.
01.09.06 :: pat's prediction? edition Okay, since Pat Robertson has declared himself the oracle of God-Ordained Ailments, let's hear his take on why Big Time ended up in the hospital. Proof that there is an equal opportunity deity?
01.06.06 :: gretchen wieners edition I've decided that I'm going to try to introduce a word into the national vocabulary, a la Gretchen Wieners in Mean Girls (she was so fetch!). I'm doing it just because I want to...and I want you all to help me.
Ready? Okay, here's the word: Punies (pyü-nEEs). One of my aunts used this word when she was a little girl, to describe a bodily function usually referred to as diarrhea. It has lived long and prospered in my family ever since, being used by my grandparents, all the children, and grandchildren. If properly marketed, it could theoretically replace the current slang, "the squirts," which I have always thought was gross. "The punies" sounds so much more lyrical, doesn't it? Sentence usage: "Last time I ate at Taco Bell, I got a horrible case of the punies and barely made it home."
Okay, there it is...a new word for the American slang lexicon. Use it, snoggees! Work it for Loba! Oh and happy Friday...
01.06.06 :: dance with the devil who brought you edition MonkeyBone is denouncing Pat Robertson's statements about Ariel Sharon (Get thee behind me, Satan!).
01.06.06 :: far-reaching ramifications edition Virginia Governor Mark Warner is ordering DNA testing for a case involving a man who was executed in 1992 for a crime he claimed, even at his execution, that he was not guilty. What happens if this test exonerates him of the crime for which he was killed? What happens if, either way, more states start testing old cases? What happens if Texas starts testing all their execution cases more closely? What about all the executions that occurred during MonkeyBone's tenure?
01.06.06 :: health complications edition Pat Robertson has declared that Ariel Sharon deserved the stroke he recently suffered and the imminent death it is bringing.
Hmm. So when will Pat Robertson tell us what Ronald Reagan did to deserve his death at the hands of Alzheimer's?
01.05.06 :: maryland moon edition Sorry, it was just too alliterative to pass up: A man who mooned his neighbor was found guilty of indecent exposure, but the ruling was overturned. So, it's legal to moon in Maryland. Woo ahoo.
Bonus point: The article quotes Michael Olmert, an English professor at UMCP who is a favorite among English majors (alas, I never had a class with him while I was there...).
01.05.06 :: snuggly soft edition Another winter warmer of a cuddly variety: a cute and different photo of Mei Xiang and Tai Shan. I've seen lots of photos (I do live in the D.C. area, after all...we're required to see photos on the front page of washingtonpost.com at least once a week). I guess I should try to make it to the zoo at some point to see him before he's shipped back to China.
01.05.06 :: winter warmers edition With the cost of heating oil skyrocketing, here's a helpful piece on foods that help warm you from the inside out during these icky winter days. Plus, there are lovely recipes at the end.
As Julia Child would say, "Bon appétit!" (just don't cut your finger while slicing the chicken...)
01.05.06 :: priorities and presumptions edition It's all about priorities for some people. Obviously, the puppies were more important to this couple than the man's two children, including his younger autistic son.
Here are two presumptions based on the fact that the boys are the man's children from a previous marriage: 1)The wife didn't really want a pre-fab family...just the husband (but she DID want the puppies!) and 2)The husband is willing to do whatever it takes to make his new wife happy, even if it means neglecting his own flesh and blood.
Like I said, sometimes it's all about priorities...
01.05.06 :: ch-ch-changes edition They're screwing with the radio dial again. Around this time last year, they killed WHFS. Honestly, I think I'm still recovering from that...and I still can't find Gina Crash!
This time, Z104 was led to the chopping block. It is now the new home of WGMS, one of the local classical music stations. Love this station and didn't really like Z104, but I still think it's shitty that they fired all the Z104 staff yesterday right before the switchover. And now, WTOP (your news, traffic, and weather station!) is on 103.5, which was WGMS' former home. WTOP has been an AM station staple for 60 years. At its former home will debut, in March, Washington Post radio.
I obviously love the Washington Post. I've heard some of the reporters speak. I really hope they aren't the ones to speak on the radio, because for radio personalities...they're really good reporters.
Anyway, there's a boring update on the D.C. radio scene. We now return to our regular kvetching.
01.04.06 :: mastercard moment edition Oh, this is just too easy not to do. Here's a photo from the "Politics" section of a "Best of 2005" Slideshow...but first a little introduction, thank you MasterCard (and this article):
First-class roundtrip ticket from Texas to D.C. to see a dumbass sworn back into office: $600 per guest.
Five-star hotel located near the White House: $300 per night.
VIP ticket in the reserved section to see the dumbass lie through oath of office a second time: $4,080 per seat.
Chauffeured Rolls Royce: $200 per hour.
Ticket for the Black Tie and Boots inaugural ball: $1,135 per ticket.
Hair Salon and Day Spa visit, including nail job, makeup application, dye job and styling: $450
Pretrip face tightening that gives you that lovely lizard neck when you smile: $7,500
Gaudy baubles: $12,250
Tacky Republican Red dress and matching cowgirl hat and boots: $7,500.
Having a smartassed blogger notice your photo on washingtonpost.com and comment on the fact that neither your tacky dress nor your falsies can be held up by your saggy tits: PRICELESS.
01.04.06 :: barry jacking edition Dang. They robbed him in his own kitchen after eating his candy. That's all kinds of jacked. At least someone found his wallet, even if it was missing the money (why's he walking around with more than $200 in his wallet? Why do you need all that cash, Mr. B.?). And hey, maybe if the robbers do turn themselves in, Mr. Barry can help them evade paying taxes on the money they stole from him...
01.04.06 :: in preparation edition Maryland Governor Ehrlich is as transparent as glass. Or are we really supposed to think that he is proposing a budget boost for the University System of Maryland out of the goodness of his heart and not because election time fast approaches? He is, after all, the one who has cut the education funding throughout his tenure by $120 million. He also allowed tuition to skyrocket (thanks in part to his cuts) so that tuition at some Maryland colleges, including my alma mater, nearly doubled, making Maryland's tuition almost the highest in the country. Had his Repubican ass been in office while I was trying to earn my degree, I very well may not have been able to afford college. Say what you will about previous Governor Glendening (who was in no way a great governor), but he did care about making education in this state accessible to all, not just the elite.
I can't wait until election time. I'd like Maryland to be blue again.
01.04.06 :: salted wounds edition It's not horrible enough that only 1 of the 13 trapped coal miners survived...the mix-up that preceded this announcement was unforgivable.
01.03.06 :: jericho crumbling edition Abramoff's fall brings us one step closer to The Hammer. This could be a good thing. It could also mean that Abramoff is the fall guy to protect DeLay. Let's hope it's the former option.
It's very disturbing to read about how happily Abramoff exploited the Indian tribes with whom he had dealings. Isn't it enough that these people were virtually wiped off the continent by early settlers and their violence and myriad diseases, have been repeatedly displaced from their land, plus they have to endure the continued salt-in-the-wound source of contention that is the Washington Redskins (I don't think the San Antonio Wetbacks would last very long at all as a sports team, do you? But how is that any different or less insulting?)...but they must also be exploited so that Repubicans can bribe other Repubicans for favors?
And I'm really interested to hear more about the bribery of an Ohio representative. I can't help but immediately remember that Ohio was the keystone state in this past joke of a presidential election. Viva la conspiracy!
01.03.06 :: the god you...create edition Provocative op-ed from the Seattle Post-Intelligencer on how gods are a product of evolution.
01.03.06 :: true customer service edition During my final rant of 2005, I failed to mention that I did actually receive decent customer service. It was rare, but there. The award, though, goes to EarthLink. I needed to contact them to cancel part of my service. The gentleman who helped me was courteous and quick...plus he didn't try to sell me anything. That's something I hate...when the rep tries to sell you something at the end of the call. But EarthLink rocked. And when I checked my account online fewer than 20 minutes later, it already reflected my requested change.
EarthLink. BooYa.
01.03.06 :: hustle the hustler edition First, a prerequisite "Happy New Year" to all snoggees.
So, Marion Barry claims he was robbed at gunpoint last night. I don't know why, but something just doesn't feel right about this claim. But perhaps that's just my jaded opinion of Mr. Barry. After all, I do very clearly remember the "Bitch Done Set Me Up" days...
And so starts a new year of continued political skepticism and criticism...
