Ever wonder why the Berber carpet used in most office workplaces is the most heinous looking kaleidoscope weave imaginable? It’s so when your red-dyed soda explodes all over the place the minute you pop the tab, no one’s really going to notice. It just blends right in with all the other garish color splotches. Who knows, maybe that’s how they make this carpet in the first place.
Oh, and in case you were wondering, this post was brought to you by the word “Procrastination.”
Gather round, kiddies, for this fiendish tale spun for you from the depths of your Uncle Alice’s darkest nightmares!
Okay, maybe not. The book is called Golf Monster after all. You know Alice is a huge golf junkie now, right? That was the whole “Fairway to Heaven” reference in my last BC entry. He used to be a drunk, and then he replaced his alcohol addiction with a HUGE golf jones. Seriously. He plays at least 18 holes almost every day, no matter where he happens to be.
Of course, I love Alice Cooper. I love his music. I love his camp. I love his snakes (real snakes, you dirty buggers!). I love his speech about Milwaukee in Wayne’s World. He is teh awesome. Therefore, take my review of his book with that caveat as an ap
