L o b a B l a n c a {dot} c o m

When did the word “alumni” become both the singular and plural form of itself? I’m just wondering, because obviously it had to happen at some point without my knowledge. After all, that seems to me to be the only logical explanation for why colleges and universities all across the United States issue “Alumni of” merchandise. I’m sure those of you here in the practice colonies have seen this on a regular basis, on bumper stickers, window clings, license plate holders…et cetera ad nauseum.

Here’s the problem: Unless your name is Sybil or you’re part of the Borg Collective, you’re not an alumni. You’re either an alumnus (for boys) or an alumna (for girls). The only time you’re alumni is when you’re part of a group of people who graduated from the same school…unless you’re a girl and part of a group of all-girl graduates. Then you’re alumnae.

Yes, it does get complicated. But not really. Not if you’ve received proper schooling on the matter, which I always thought was the purpose of earning a college degree in the first place. So what does it say that our own institutions of higher education can’t even be bothered to get right something as simple as this?

To be fair, I have seen merchandise with the correct word used. I’ve even seen merchandise imprinted with “Alumna,” which was most impressive. These instances are few and far between, though.

Okay, semantics rant over for now. I are finished.

When I’m not completely geeking out about all things sci-fi, I’m usually having a nerdspasm over musicals. Yeah, I can’t really explain that one either. I understand that they are an acquired taste, and that most people can’t stand how characters will break out into song in the middle of a poignant moment. My response to that complaint is…that’s why it’s called a musical.

My response usually gets a dirty look. I’m okay with that.

Anyway, I’ve made no secret of my Wicked love. First, I think Gregory Maguire’s book is brilliant. In the truest tradition of L. Frank Baum, Maguire has penned a story with powerful undercurrents of political and social commentary. Maguire’s text is far more adult, however, and really works as more of an anti-fairytale. He turns those beloved Ozians on their ears in incredible yet highly satisfying ways. I find it mildly off-putting that he now seems set to write these alternative reality books for all the Ozian characters. His latest is a book about the Cowardly Lion, which I admittedly have not read (truth is, I haven’t even read the Wicked sequel, Son of a Witch, even though I bought it the week it came out…in January of 2005; you all have no idea the depths of my book backlog).

Of course, Maguire’s novel and the musical based upon it are about as different as Baum’s novel and the MGM movie (which, in case you’ve missed it, turned 70 this year). The musical version of Wicked, in fact, significantly alters and dumbs down Maguire’s original story in ways that could have been potentially damning to the musical if left to incompetent people. Thankfully, Stephen Schwartz and Winnie Holzman are far from incompetent, and the end result is a Tony-winning musical that I love so much that the keystone of my 30th birthday trip across the pond was getting to see Idina Menzel reprise her role as Elphaba. That’s love, my friends.

So, what’s the point of all this? Well, during a recent virtual stroll through IMDb’s lists of upcoming movies, I stumbled upon this listing in the 2010 section. Wha? Wicked on screen? That would be wicked, indeed…if done properly, a la Chicago.

I quickly began disseminating this joyous news, giddy with fear-tinged joy over the thought of my current favorite musical being brought to the big screen as soon as next year. And then A2 (who hates musicals, by the way) pointed out the release date listed on IMDb: 2016.

2016?

W. T. F.?

Talk about delayed gratification. I guess this is still all nothing more than someone’s pipe dream right now. Although, I’ve always known that this would end up heading to the big screen at some point. After all, it was produced by Universal Pictures. But waiting until 2016? I had hopes that the original “witches” might be considered to reprise their roles as Galinda and Elphaba for the movie. Of course, how often does that ever happen, right? But with a delay like this, I don’t think either will be able to pass as teenagers anymore…unless they want to go all 90210 on us (Andrea Zuckerman was almost 30!!!).

Oh well. Things do change. Maybe this weird release date will change. Hell, maybe TPTB will change their minds about making the movie at all! Movies based on musicals notoriously fall flat 9 times out of 10 anymore. I think it’s all that crazy singing they do…