I’m a sucker for a sucker. Well, I used to be. I used to be quite the sugar hound back in the day, actually. Again, there should be no surprise that there was quite a bit more of me back in the day as well.
Eating healthy and exercising, FTW.
Of course, I still do get cravings. This Sunday, for example, I’ll more than likely be indulging this secret love, which I hid from you all last year for utterly selfish reasons. Consider this my recompense. Just don’t forget. I’m not reminding you again.
So back to my sucker fetish. I like candy that’s going to stick around with you, give you the most bang for your buck. Push Pops definitely qualify in this regard. Unlike regular lollipops or Tootsie Pops, Push Pops aren’t just a tiny disc or orb of lickable candy. Oh no. These are solid sticks of candy pleasure, complete with plastic case and top for a lovely easy-to-retract storage option.
Of course, this isn’t completely true. Anyone who’s eaten a Push Pop knows that two things inevitably can happen with these funsticks that never happen with a regular lolly on a stick. One: You run the risk of having saliva drip down the Push Pop and pool briefly inside the plastic container before finally rushing down the finger inside the Push Pop and down your arm in a sugary deluge. I had this happen more often than I preferred when I was a wee wolf. I can assure you, it’s quite disgusting.
The second thing? Let’s say you decide you don’t want to finish your Push Pop, so you push it back inside its case and snap on the lid. You let it sit for a little while—let’s say a few hours—before returning to finish it. Go ahead. Try to get that sucker back out of the case. All that sticky, licked lollipop gunk has now become fused with the plastic and you run the risk of breaking the tip of your finger before you can push that Push Pop back out.
Sticky, licky goo sticks like glue. Tastes de-lovely though.
Of course, all this means one thing: You simply cannot stop until you’ve finished your Push Pop (and you might need a bib, at least for your arm).
I haven’t had a Push Pop since I ran the candy concessions when I was a Senior in high school (stop trying to figure out how long ago that was!). I highly doubt that’s going to change any time soon. Too much sugar makes my teeth ache now. Besides, at my age, blue teeth and lips are more likely to make people think I’ve gone cyanotic rather than indulged in a candy fetish…
[Loba Note: I don't know why, but I can't find a version of this commercial in English. That's okay, though. I'm sure you'll still get the message: "Don't push me! Push a Push Pop!"]
